MeadowFlower Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Do you get attached quickly to a person you are interested in/or dating? If you are that way inclined, do you do anything to help yourself to not become attached too soon? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I feel when you have clinging tendencies the first step into not being too attached too soon is to recognise those tendencies and pull up the reins a little ....so control emotions and give some slack to that person...meaning to not have lofty expectations and have some defined boundaries in regards to your own actions and honestly to theirs....like jumping into physical intimacy..so holding back on moving too fast.....and take the dating relationship slow and easy from friendship...yes i get attached so i have to be careful ..........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted May 7, 2019 Author Share Posted May 7, 2019 Thanks @todreaminblue. I am meaning not the actions of being clingy to the other person, but internally getting attached and etc to them. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 Thanks @todreaminblue. I am meaning not the actions of being clingy to the other person, but internally getting attached and etc to them. internal attachment to someone very early normally involves some sort of clinging...bonding, tying your emotions too another in an intimacy and for me attachment always comes first emotionally.....and when i attach its hard to break an emotional connection....but i can hold the reins.....and pull up....so i dont become a clinger.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 You just have to take it slow. Don’t allow your feelings to overwhelm you without the other person actually earning those feelings. Only time can give you a realistic view of them so be sure to take it slow. It’s your love after all. Don’t just give it to anybody. There may come a time when you’re going to have to choose to open your heart to another. Make sure they’re worth it before taking that jump. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TooBad Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 If I meet someone, I can either see a future with that person or I can't. If I can I'll go all in. I don't waste time on the whole dating and pretending to be someone you're not. I want to know what that person is like, for real. Someone either feels comfortable with me or not. Only once I doubted myself. She looked good, I just wasn't that attracted to her. Gave it some time, months even, to see if something would 'grow'. It didn't. Yes, I get hurt. But at least it doesn't cost me 6 months or more to get there. And in the end I'm 100% sure I've done all I can on my part. Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 how to not let your own feelings play you in dating 1. remember that the feelings you feel are natural and you cant help the feelings that come but doesnt mean you should act on them (especially if they dont and have not served you). do wise and logical actions DESPITE how you feel if you dont want to get played. 2. remember that while you feel these feelings the fact of the matter is you dont know the guy your first ga ga over. that alone should keep you in reality. so drop the whole "he feels like my soul mate" he could be some psycho pedo killer for all you know. people find out things about their partners they have been with for years. get to know him before making big claims and making rash decisions. 3. dont assume that people feel the way that you do. just because you feel a certain way about a guy or have an idea on how relationships should be doesnt mean he agrees or will follow. 4. date multiple men. alot of the problems of getting played is assuming exclusivity when he is not your boyfriend and never said he wanted to be your boyfriend. also when you only focus on one guy your moved by what he does and doesnt do. so dont only focus on one guy when yall are no where near boyfriend and girlfriend. when he starts acting like a boyfriend and eventually asks then you can start to focus on him. 5. let men initiate major relationship milestones. men do what they want. men go after what they want. you dont have to guess if a guy likes you. you dont have to scheme to get a guy to commit. if he likes you, wants to date you, wants to be with you he will call consistently, ask you out consistently, and ask to be your boyfriend. if he is not doing these things then he dont want you bad enough. period. the end. 6. focus on a mans actions over time. not what he says AND not just actions at the beginning. many men can lie. many men can change their mind. always evaluate his ongoing actions and let that tell the story about who he is. got some new information about him thats not good. well thats new info about who he is. pay attention and act accordingly. 7. never be afraid to let a man go if he is not treating you right or you determine clear incompatibility on whatever is important to you. yea you may like him, love him, and think the sex is the best you ever had but if he is abusive, cheating, toxic, distant, selfish, doesnt care, narcissistic, dangerous, doesnt want to be with you exclusively, doesnt call you, flaky, ghosted you or you want to get married but he doesnt believe in marriage, he wants to move away long distance and you dont want long distance, or maybe you want a person that doesnt mooch off of you and he doesnt have a pot to piss in.....soon as you find out he is not right for you then you have to cut him loose. * let me reiterate that doing these things thats smart to do in dating does not mean that feelings and attachments quickly go away if they ever. I too can feel nervous, anxious, giddy, in love, hopeful, heartbroken, attached, and not wanting anybody else. but you do whats in your best interest DESPITE how you feel less you remain stuck and looking stupid. what do you want more. do you want to be happy or do you want to pine for a guy who is not giving you what you want? you do have a choice. you can say yea but I have great feelings for him. well thats okay but you feel what you feel for him as your moving on. sigh if you have to. cry if you have to. feel absolutely sick to your stomach over how you feel but you still choose to do whats best for you. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I did, but it was a learning experience. It's just best to not get attached to quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
.thumb.jpeg.56e67a05e0caac554e185e2bfbc79b36.jpeg)
Recommended Posts