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New FWB says she wants a bf


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Old 15th April 2019, 11:57 AM   #1
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New FWB says she wants a bf

A girl I just started messing around with seems to be amazing. We've known each other for a year and she asked me to join her and one of our other friends out last weekend. We wound up talking and one thing lead to another. Earlier in the night told me she broke up with her last bf because he was always jealous. She likes to sleep around and can't be bothered. Then I told her that I have been wanting an open relationship lately because I like sleeping with different folks and I'm not the jealous type. I just need a girl who'll meet up 4 times a week and we spend time together but I could care less what she's doing when I'm not around but who'll go for that. She told me that's what she needed. To be left alone and hook up a few times a week and she could let her man do whatever as long as he tells her about it. Then while dancing and talking she told me what she like sexually and that was that. So it's not official but we're going to keep messing around and seeing where it goes.
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Old 15th April 2019, 2:28 PM   #2
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I don't like the part where "her man" has to tell her who and what he's doing. After all, this is a nonbinding sex-only agreement. Why on earth does she get to know what you're doing the rest of the time??? Say yes to everything else, but no to that, and I'm just going to tell you that a woman who truly wants no strings and no real boyfriend would not have said that. Likely she cheated around on her old bf so she's painting him as a pest, but she really wants a boyfriend, just one who won't get mad if she sleeps with other guys. I bet she still wants all the perks of a boyfriend, though, paying for dates, etc. I think she's a "big talker."
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Old 15th April 2019, 3:21 PM   #3
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Before you start "messing around" you both need to lay out some ground rules, like is sex allowed with others, and how many, do you have to be open with who? If one catches feelings they need to say something about it, are you doing actual dates, and who pays? separate bills? etc. There are a lot of things you need to cover before stepping into this arrangement.
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Old 15th April 2019, 5:30 PM   #4
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Four times a week is a lot! Particularly for FWB, if you are both planning to see or date other people.

Be safe, especially if you are both having sex with other people. May sound like the solution to all your problems but it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen to me...
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Old 15th April 2019, 7:08 PM   #5
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As has been pointed out, a FWB doesn't owe explanations of what they are doing when they are not together, and they certainly aren't "her man" or "his woman".

Sounds like she wants a boyfriend with whom she can have an open relationship (sex with others) but otherwise with characteristics of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship (telling the other what you're doing).

And yes, four times a week is a lot for FWB!

I don't think either of you have the right expectations for this to turn out well.
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Old 15th April 2019, 9:06 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Finding my way View Post
I don't think either of you have the right expectations for this to turn out well.
I agree. This is going to be drama...
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Old 16th April 2019, 8:21 AM   #7
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Ok. I'll take you guys advice. She's fun though.
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Old 16th April 2019, 8:48 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by dateme View Post
A girl I just started messing around with seems to be amazing. We've known each other for a year and she asked me to join her and one of our other friends out last weekend. We wound up talking and one thing lead to another. Earlier in the night told me she broke up with her last bf because he was always jealous. She likes to sleep around and can't be bothered. Then I told her that I have been wanting an open relationship lately because I like sleeping with different folks and I'm not the jealous type. I just need a girl who'll meet up 4 times a week and we spend time together but I could care less what she's doing when I'm not around but who'll go for that. She told me that's what she needed. To be left alone and hook up a few times a week and she could let her man do whatever as long as he tells her about it. Then while dancing and talking she told me what she like sexually and that was that. So it's not official but we're going to keep messing around and seeing where it goes.
Wouldn't you two just be FWBs? Why do you need to have the lablels "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". Just go out and have as much sex as you both want without any labels. What is the point?
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Old 16th April 2019, 3:25 PM   #9
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Wouldn't you two just be FWBs? Why do you need to have the lablels "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". Just go out and have as much sex as you both want without any labels. What is the point?
I think we basically would be. I think the label is just because she likes me and is hoping it'll get deeper. Didn't analyze it that far.
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Old 16th April 2019, 4:17 PM   #10
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Yeah^ which is what makes her deceptive. She wants a boyfriend. I just don't think this girl is made of very good stuff. She wants you to check in and tell her what you're doing (and who) and still act like a boyfriend just so she can't get in trouble for being with a lot of other guys. So I'm all down with multidating. I am not down for telling your other guy friends about your dates/hookups, only to let them know you're not exclusive. I see a bunch of confusing drama on the horizon and I think you're going to get the wrong end of it.
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