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Time between dates with back to back vacations


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Old 14th April 2019, 10:44 AM   #1
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Time between dates with back to back vacations

Just had a great third date - dinner at my place and she spent the night.

Typically, early on I like to have one date per week if it’s a girl I’m really interested in. Her and I do seem to connect on a deeper level than other women I’ve dates in recent months.

Situation is: this week, I am gone all week and she will be gone for the coming weekend. Then, there is a 2 day window until I have to leave again Wednesday-Sunday for another work trip. So, there’s a chance we may not see one another for at minimum 2 weeks if we cannot make a date happen in that Monday/Tuesday window between her trip and my second trip.

Wondering how I could approach the situation and exactly when and how I should ask if she’s available between her trip and my second one. When we were together the other night, the subject came up momentarily and she said we could find a time before I leave again but didn’t set any plans - I always try to avoid setting future dates on current dates, as it can look a bit needy.

Now, I wonder basically when and how I should ask for the next date, and if she’s busy on the two days where it could happen, how do I proceed if we can’t see each other for more than two weeks? More than 14 days between dates seems like a very long time, especially since we have only been out three times together.
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:20 AM   #2
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If you feel it is going well- particularly by 3 dates in- I say just plan ahead so she knows you are interested.

When I met my BF- we met at Speed Dating on a Tuesday- he text me the following day to organise a coffee date for the Sunday. It was a great date- but then he said he was heading back to his family- 200 miles away for the holidays and would be gone 2 and a half weeks. He said at the end of the first date that we would have dinner as soon as he was back.

I was so convinced that he wouldn't and he'd ghost me like everyone else who I'd been on dates with who would then disappear. I remember being so stressed for that time because I just couldn't get him out of my head and was so convinced I'd be ditched.

When over the holidays he started messaging me to formalise plans- it massively helped and made me know he was interested.

So I would say- plan a date and remind her of the details over the 2 weeks you will be apart. It will really help her know you intend to continue dating her even after being apart.
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:26 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Penguin_hugs View Post
If you feel it is going well- particularly by 3 dates in- I say just plan ahead so she knows you are interested.

When I met my BF- we met at Speed Dating on a Tuesday- he text me the following day to organise a coffee date for the Sunday. It was a great date- but then he said he was heading back to his family- 200 miles away for the holidays and would be gone 2 and a half weeks. He said at the end of the first date that we would have dinner as soon as he was back.

I was so convinced that he wouldn't and he'd ghost me like everyone else who I'd been on dates with who would then disappear. I remember being so stressed for that time because I just couldn't get him out of my head and was so convinced I'd be ditched.

When over the holidays he started messaging me to formalise plans- it massively helped and made me know he was interested.

So I would say- plan a date and remind her of the details over the 2 weeks you will be apart. It will really help her know you intend to continue dating her even after being apart.
Well, you see I already mentioned to her that since we both have trips back to back it would be great to see her sometime between them and she said it should be doable. I left it there. But it would be greater than 2 weeks (almost 3 weeks) if not.

I know I could have pushed to make plans while she was with me in person, but that seems really pushy and needy in my opinion and Iím not comfortable with trying to make future dates while on a current one. Iíve had it backfire tremendously on me and girls have lost interest when Iíve done that before.

Do you think I should just wait until later this week (th/fri) and then ask about availability on those couple days where we arenít out of town?
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Old 14th April 2019, 11:51 AM   #4
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If she is truly interested in you, She will find time to see you even if it's only for an hour or 2...

So you should say for example I am free Wed/Thursday next week would love to take you to this great italian Restaurant I found, before I go away...

You will then know if she is keen or not. If she says yess then set a day & time to meet up.
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Old 14th April 2019, 2:19 PM   #5
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Do you think I should just wait until later this week (th/fri) and then ask about availability on those couple days where we arenít out of town?
I think that sounds like a good plan- it shows you are still interested and not just moving on from her while being away
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Old 15th April 2019, 9:31 AM   #6
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I think that sounds like a good plan- it shows you are still interested and not just moving on from her while being away

She messaged me a picture of something an hour or so after she left my house in the morning (related to a subject we had discussed that morning). I replied with a short friendly text and she replied to that one as well, but we haven’t talked since. Usually, I see a girl reaching out the day after a date as a positive sign, especially if they flat out say something like “I had a good time” (or anything along those lines). Although she didn’t flat out say something like that, would her sending that message basically be the same type of indicator (that she had a good time?)

Otherwise, I’m not sure why she would message me within an hour or so of just leaving my house. Could be overthinking, but I’d assume if a girl didn’t really enjoy herself she wouldn’t bother.
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