eybe Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Hi, a couple of months ago I met this guy through Tinder. He lives really close by so we went out for drinks and it turned out to be a great evening. We laughed, had drinks and talked about our past and future. The date lasted for 7hours and never felt weird. Anyhow, he kissed me on the cheek and we decided to meet again. 3 dates later we met by accident in a bar. We both had a couple of drinks too many and we ended up sleeping together. Since that happened we've talked everyday by message (lots of them!) and we've met up multiple times (sometimes even when his friends are there) The weird thing is, sometimes it's like we're very good friends who tell each other everything. Other times we end up in the bedroom. I told him that I liked him and he said he was not ready for it. Weeks, months have passed and this keeps on happening. He talks about missing his ex, the next moment he's asking me where I'll be at tonight. Should I cut him loose? Is he just holding on to this until something better comes along? Why does he invest so much time in talking everyday? I'm really confused and scared of losing this connection. Please help. ? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Cut him loose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 He doesn't see you as relationship material because you gave it up so fast and so easily. He's not ready but he's ready for sex. By the way its against the rules to start more than one identical topic, because it's a waste of time for those of us trying to help and won't get you more replies anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) The only connection you two have is when sex is in play. He's not letting you get emotionally close and you can't have a full on relationship without emotional intimacy, which you don't have if he's telling you he was not ready for it. You assumed that him having sex with you automatically meant that he wanted a relationship when all he wanted was sex without obligation. Considering he keeps bringing up his ex, I'd say that he's not in the head space to be your boyfriend--only someone you can tap for some NSA sex. If you're cool with that, then see him as a FWB, but keep your heart and expectations out of it: he's not going to deliver what you want and more access to sex will not get him there, either, if he's already got you in your box on the shelf. Edited February 14, 2019 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
nychic009 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 (edited) Your relationship is directionless, that’s the problem. Either determine you want a casual relationship from beginnng or set precedent for more at the outset. I’d just cut him loose at this point. He doesn’t want a relationship if he’s talking about his exes and not taking you on proper dates and it’s too late to change that unless you make a clean break and start all over. Edited February 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redact quote of starting post 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Cut him loose! He will continue sending you through an emotional rollercoaster for as long as you let him. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 It depends on what you want. If you are DTF & remain open to FWB, keep him around. If you want a BF, he's not your guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 "scared of losing this connection" -- eybe, there is no connection except the string you're allowing him to keep you on. He's not going to end it. Why should he? He's getting what he wants out of this and you are confused and wanting more for yourself and you're not going to get it from him. Tell him you're moving on and then block, delete, forget. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author eybe Posted February 15, 2019 Author Share Posted February 15, 2019 The confusing part for me is the fact that we don't always end up in bed. Sometimes we meet up and just watch netflix for hours, talk about our lives, laugh and eat together. He talks about his deepest fears, secrets, what's going on in his head. If he would only send me a message to have sex it would be much clearer for pe and I wouldn't get so attached. But I suppose you're all right, and I need to move on .. Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 He’s just keeping you as a friend Keep hanging out of you like but let him know you will be seeing other people and don’t sleep with him anymore Link to post Share on other sites
nothingsintheflowerz Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 The confusing part for me is the fact that we don't always end up in bed. Sometimes we meet up and just watch netflix for hours, talk about our lives, laugh and eat together. He talks about his deepest fears, secrets, what's going on in his head. If he would only send me a message to have sex it would be much clearer for pe and I wouldn't get so attached. But I suppose you're all right, and I need to move on .. Guys aren't necessarily one-dimensional. They can also enjoy intimacy without actually valuing a commitment with you. The fact that he's talking about his ex whilst casually being sexual with you is a huge indicator that he's only using you for a temporary connection. You should definitely move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Should I cut him loose? Is he just holding on to this until something better comes along? Why does he invest so much time in talking everyday? I'm really confused and scared of losing this connection. Please help. ? He enjoys your company, he enjoys all the sex, but he has no intention of going any farther than that. He doesn't want to be your boyfriend and he doesn't want to be tied down to anyone. You've got yourself a f*** buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 He gets all the benefits of a relationship with you when he wants them but without having to commit to you. He's NOT invested in you - he enjoys you on his terms and that's it. You should move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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