how often should you text the person you just started seeing?

[parkerbrook]

I just went out on a date with this guy for the first time this past weekend. we really hit it off and IÂ’m super into him. he then texted me the next day after our date, waited a day in between then texted me yesterday again and set up a second date. I want to text him first this time to show him IÂ’m interested, but I just talked to him all day yesterday and still donÂ’t know him very well so genuinely donÂ’t know what IÂ’d say. IÂ’m thinking of waiting until tomorrow, because I donÂ’t want to smother him especially because weÂ’ve only been on one date!

 

I know itÂ’s stupid, but I donÂ’t want to overkill the texting but also donÂ’t want him to think IÂ’m not interested... thoughts?

[d0nnivain]

After a date, I would text thank you so the person knows you are open to more contact.

 

You are past that & already have a next date set. Since you spoke yesterday, there is no reason to text today. The day before your date I'd send something along the lines of "looking forward to our date tomorrow."

 

Understand my bias though. I'm in my 50s. I don't like texting. I also prefer less contact that many people. Several on LS will try to convince you that if you are not getting daily good morning & good night tests plus some mid-day contact that you two are not into each other enough. I have no idea how those folks find time to function; I would find that smothering not complimentary.

[BaileyB]

Donnivain, that’s exactly what we did.

 

I would text that night after the date to tell him that I had a good time.

 

Eventually, that became a little conversation - exchanging a few texts to talk about the date or what was happening the next day. Nothing too personal or involved.

 

There was one week, we didn’t see each other at all. I didn’t hear from him at all. I didn’t love that, but we didn’t have anything to say to each other and I didn’t want to get to know him by text. I wanted to see him in real life.

 

If we had plans, we would text the day before to confirm plans and tell the other that we were looking forward to seeing them.

 

It naturally increased over time. Remember parkerbrook, texting a lot does not indicate interest or commitment. If anything, it creates a false sense of knowing someone. Relationships are built in person and they are about shared experiences, not text messages.

 

Have fun with it. Keep busy and don’t obsess. Que sera, sera.

Edited February 14, 2019 by BaileyB

[Grey40]

I’m 29 and a male, and understand texting, Definitley feel free to text him first and reach out, nothing wrong with that. Hell really like that and appreciate it. He could wondering what your level of interest is himself, and that will help him feel that asking you on a second date was the right choice. You’re not going to turn a guy off unless you text constantly on a daily basis or don’t let conversations end.

[Curiousroxy86]

Texting rules are funny to me

 

I would just respond to the texts he sends. Mirror him

 

It shows your interested but the fact your not texting first shows your not needy.

I wouldn't wait a day to respond to his texts that's rude if anybody does that sh*t.

 

If he invites you to text him like "hey you can text me sometimes too" or "text me" or express a desire for you to contact reciprocally then do so. Initiate a text at your convenience but initiate reciprocally. You text him first and let him text you first next time and so forth but again only if he invites it

 

Otherwise just respond when he texts you

[2much4]

There's no general rule. Usually younger people text more (but don't do phone calls).

Some people like texting, others don't. Just go with whatever you feel comfortable with and observe his reaction.

[Gretchen12]

Just text him this:

"I want to be the one to text first this time but we've already talked a lot yesterday and now I can't think of a good talking point."

[kendahke]

At this point, I'd invest more in verbal conversation than I would in texting.

 

You don't know him well enough to divine his tone and texting doesn't convey tone... it's really easy to get your feelings hurt if you don't yet know he's got a delicious streak of sarcasm he's honed to perfection.

 

Stick to verbal conversation for now--and don't blow everything you have to say on text messages because you won't have anything to talk about when you get face to face.

[Lotsgoingon]

Young people tend to text a lot! ... a whole lot!

 

But as shown time and time again on this board, texting does not equal bonding ... or building a relationship. Texting can be its own little enjoyment, disconnected from the rest of a relationship.

 

People text to fill up time ... because it's interactive ... Text when you want to text ... Period!

 

Wanna show some real confidence, if you feel like you've been out of communication ... dial this person up on the phone! And then just say hi ... chat a bit and get off! ... A phone call is worth 100 text messages ... sorta like a hand-written card of thanks is worth 100 emailed thank yous.