update to girls that date multiple men at once..

[j6767]

I previously posted... Long story short, at the time of first posting went out with a girl once, who mentioned she is casually dating another man, and has been for 6 months....

 

 

Since that first date, , we have seen each other every available chance... 3 dates to be exact, within 7 days of knowing each other. Hard to put into words, but we really have a connection with each other.. From the way we talk, laugh, kiss, etc.. She has told me how interested she is in me, and I told her I feel the same. We also have been intimate..

 

 

Now the situation... She has been seeing someone very wealthy for the past 6 months.. They had previous plans to be together this week,(6 days after I met her, and have spent 3 nights with her), and thats where she is now.. He flew her away so that she could accompany him to some event.. He lives far away, and they see each other about once a month. She told me long term does not look good with him, as he lives far way, and is non-committal, as of yet.

 

So, this is a new situation for me. I understand the concept of dating to get to know people, but we have been completely all over each other, and miss each other much when apart. She even called from the airport to say she wants to see me as soon as she gets back and i was just like "ok cool, sounds good".. I mean what else can I say...

 

 

Actually, I am cool with her going on this trip.. We just met 6 days ago, and she has been completely honest....I guess I am just wondering how this will play out in the future... Obviously i wouldnt think it is so cool a couple months from now..

 

Any advice would be appreciated... Being a man, for some reason I dont think this would go over well if I told a woman "well i am seeing someone else, but I am really into you...Actually I am going on a vacation with her next week, ill call you when I get back" Does a double standard exist? Since there are billions of women should I find someone completely single? Or are most attractive women always dating someone? And how do I act when she gets back? Pretend like she was not with someone else? Ask questions? Or just keep it fun and light hearted like it has been up until this point??

[Cecelius]

There are real world issues.

 

All women, especially attractive ones, will have more people attempting to date them than men will. it is the nature of the dating process. Perhaps she's taken your relationship a little farther than most/many/some would while she is clearly sexually involved with someone else, but I take it as a given that ALL women have someone pursuing them in some way.

 

The only issue that matters is what YOUR preferences are.

 

Are you confortable with her dating more than one person?

Are you comforatble with her sleeping with more than one person at a time?

Do you acknowledge that this means a 3rd guy may exist or come to exist?

 

Since you are not really dating her, and are not exclusive, there is no shadiness here so the only question is, do you find that your distast over the current situation (competition, possiblly out-of-social-norms sexuality) outweighs your interest in her?

 

Since your interest is very short term, why bother answering that question till you get to know her more?

 

If you are uncomfortable with sleeping with her around the time that she sleeps with him, then that answers it -- the relationship goes no farther.

 

You taking that wait and see approach will also have the advantage of making you more attractive to her. Decide whether you want more from her only when she's gotten to where she wants you more than that guy and more than you want her.