max3732 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 With OLD I've been chatting with someone for a few days and she asked me if I live where I do full time. I told her that I travel for both work and fun for a few weeks in the summer and winter. I thought she'd ask about my trips or share some travel stories, but instead this seemed to bring the conversation to an end. She said she's looking for a long term relationship and it would be very difficult to know someone who isn't always in one place. I told her this is for only a few weeks every year and the vast majority of time I'm here and that should be plenty to get to know someone, but she said for her being gone for a few weeks in the summer and winter is a lot. What else can I say? Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Perhaps adios. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Nothing. That’s her choice. Just means you aren’t compatible. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 It does seem odd since you said it's only a few weeks a year.. bet she thinks you are making it sound like a few weeks and she is thinking more along the lines of it being a few months in reality.. or she has some baggage from dating a traveler... In the end it doesn't matter since you flagged one of her deal breakers.. even guys have those... Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 I personally wouldn't date a guy who travels a lot or is always gone. I don't think I personally would turn down a guy who said he traveled during the summer and winter. To me that's understandable. Matter of fact I travel every spring break and summer. So if I were you I would just be like NEXT 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 She's either one of those people who can't handle not being with a man all the time (insecure) who would drive you crazy or she's thinking ahead to planning a family and needs a man to do half the responsibilities and be there present taking care of the family so she doesn't have to give up her own career to do it. Either way, not a match for you. Enjoy your travels. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 It's either an excuse or she really doesn't see herself dating someone who is gone for work sometimes. I'm guessing it's probably a little of both, she was somewhat on the fence about you or not 100% into dating in general and fell back on the travel excuse because it tipped the scales. Don't try to change her mind, she is not compelled enough to date you. You want people to be open about dating and about dating you. Hang in there, max. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 I don't see an issue here. Everyone sees certain things as deal breakers, and to her this is one of them. No big deal, it wasn't meant to be. Just keep looking. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 I told her that I travel for both work and fun for a few weeks in the summer and winter. A few weeks implies 3-4 weeks so x2 that is 6-8 weeks a year, it is not an insignificant amount of time. Long term relationship usually = kids. 6-8 weeks a year of holding the fort at home may not then appeal.. or she may have already been cheated on by a "travelling man" so does not wish to repeat the experience.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 I agree with preraph, she's not a good fit for you. There are plenty of women for whom even regular travel wouldn't be a deal breaker. Let this one go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Kelliousme Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 A few weeks implies 3-4 weeks so x2 that is 6-8 weeks a year, it is not an insignificant amount of time. Long term relationship usually = kids. 6-8 weeks a year of holding the fort at home may not then appeal.. or she may have already been cheated on by a "travelling man" so does not wish to repeat the experience.. ^Yep this is why. It's just incompatibility. You're not what she's looking for. Personally I'd rather NOT be with a man who leaves to travel 6-8 weeks a year. It's not the type of man I'd like to settle down with. So perhaps she's looking to settle down and feels the same. You should just move on and find a woman who likes to travel, like you. Doesn't need you around all the time and is OK with your traveling habits. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Yep , just how she feels . lf she was more into you she'd find a way around that so just let it go because she just isn't so it doesn't matter anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 She sounds like she is rigid or has had issues in the past with her s.o. being away... Pass on by this one and find one less rigid Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 shes not into you or you aint hot enough for her . watch how the next guy she meets shes into travels more than you and she will accept it and not use the bull**** excuse she used for you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 What else can I say? Nothing. Your traveling is her deal breaker. IMO it's a dumb place to draw a line but it's where she drew it. She has upfront told you that you two are not compatible. There is nothing else to say. Stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Go find somebody who likes to travel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fekenaws Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 You can't make anyone do anything, she already told you that's a deal breaker for her. It's similar to how some people don't do LDR, I know after my last experience I'll never do one of those again. Link to post Share on other sites
DrNo1962 Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Mark Manson in the book 'Models' talks about the concept of demographics in dating. To put it simply, our interests, beliefs and behaviours limit our dating market. Think about it this way. You two are operating in different sectors of the dating population. You need to find someone who is more accustomed to your lifestyle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 Most of the profiles from women I saw were “wanderlusters” so I don’t think you’ll have issue finding women who like to travel. As a guy, you were probably bummed because you only get a fraction of the matches women do. When I was on OLD I would bail if I sensed lack of interest. I went on a few dates that went no where and I knew prior I should have never gone. If I find myself on OLD again, I will stick to my policy more stringently. Only high interest women. Link to post Share on other sites
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