BeeT Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Over New years I slept with this guy who used to live in the same city as me but was only back briefly. It was very clear it was just a hook up, but the sex was great and we were quite intimate after and in between (cuddling, talking etc). I think we got on pretty well. Afterwards he messaged me and I basically just said for him to let me know if he was back in my city again and he said 'yeah definitely.' For some reason I've not been able to stop thinking about it (although I know to a certain extent this is probably normal for women after a one night stand). The sex was really good and we were both totally into it. He had even said in the moment himself that it was a shame we hadn't been able to hook up previously. Anyway yesterday I sent him a message basically just saying I had a good time the other day and that it was a shame we weren't able to get to know each other whilst we both lived in the same place. He replied instantly (like same minute) and said yeah and that we should do it more properly. I said we lived in a different country was holding us back and he agreed. Not messaged since. So what should I do? Obviously nothing can happen again since we're both in different places. I've got no reason to believe he won't contact me again when he's back (which I think he almost definitely will be in a few months). How do i stop thinking about it in the meantime? Is it worth trying to maintain some kind of friendship? What do you think are the chances of him reaching out again?
Malin889 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 What do you want? Do you want to keep texting him until he comes back? Or do you just want to finalize plans now for the future? Are you ok with not knowing whether it not you’ll see him again?
Author BeeT Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 What do you want? Do you want to keep texting him until he comes back? Or do you just want to finalize plans now for the future? Are you ok with not knowing whether it not you’ll see him again? Finalise plans for the future. I've kind of got a gut feeling it might happen again. I think I'm ok with not knowing for sure though.
Malin889 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Stop wondering what he wants. What do YOU want? 1
Malin889 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 Finalise plans for the future. I've kind of got a gut feeling it might happen again. I think I'm ok with not knowing for sure though. I think instead of asking again, you should send him a funny meme or something in a week or so, just to remind him of you. Do you have any inside jokes the two of you shared? 1
smackie9 Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 When he's back in town he will hit you up again. I wouldn't push anything for now. After that last conversation, you both might consider taking this somewhere, but for now it's just going to sit until he sees you again. The ball is in his court. 1
edgygirl Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 It's called pheromones It's been said it happens only when sex was good. For some reason I've not been able to stop thinking about it 1
edgygirl Posted January 7, 2019 Posted January 7, 2019 (edited) sorry wrong thread Edited January 7, 2019 by edgygirl
Author BeeT Posted January 7, 2019 Author Posted January 7, 2019 It's called pheromones It's been said it happens only when sex was good. Yes, I'm sure it'll be out of my system in a few days haha 1
manfrombelow2 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 You're on the right track Edgygirl. And there's nothing bad about it. Afterall, sex is a very (if not most) important catalyst in love. It helps glue two souls together. Sex is like pizza: when it's good, it's good, and when it's bad, it's still good. It's called pheromones It's been said it happens only when sex was good.
edgygirl Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Not for women... Sex is like pizza: when it's good, it's good, and when it's bad, it's still good. 1
Joyce Simmons Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 I wouldn’t keep my hopes up! Yeah, you guys had a good time, sex was good...but if it’s just a hook up and no dating plans were discussed, don’t count on him contacting you again when he’s back. By the time that happens he could be seeing someone, or just hooking up with others and not want to have sex again with you because he already hit that, you know? Hooking up is hit it and quit it. No harm done if you reach out to him first, but if he doesn’t reply just be cool with that
Malin889 Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Send him a funny meme in a week or so... no expectations, just something light and funny that means nothing. He'll reply, trust me!
greymatter Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 would not send a meme unless that is your kind of thing. It's impersonal and a very passive way to engage with him. If you reach out, ask how he is doing and leave it at that, and see what kind of a response you get. If it's positive, you could ask him if he will be coming back to your area anytime soon.
edgygirl Posted January 8, 2019 Posted January 8, 2019 Gosh I hate memes from people I hardly know, sorry Malin889. Once a prospective date that went MIA sent me a meme out of nowhere to try to rekindle talks, and I didn't even respond as I found it so weird. But maybe I'm old
Author BeeT Posted January 8, 2019 Author Posted January 8, 2019 Definitely won't be sending him a meme. However, it was a positive experience over all and I don't see any reason for him not to contact me next time he's back. We have each other on facebook and he is active on there, so knows where and how to find me if he wants to get back in touch. Plus it's not like neither of us want to get in touch, although we live in different countries so both recognise there's not much point at the moment. If he never contacts me again, then we had a good night together, and I don't regret sleeping with him either way.
Author BeeT Posted January 10, 2019 Author Posted January 10, 2019 Update: He texted me again. Just flirting and saying that flights to his country were cheap...I joked back and said I'd consider it. He said it was a shame he was so far away and that he'd be back in town in the march. We mentioned meeting up again. So ugh. What should I do (I recognise there's really not much). I feel certain we'll probably meet again when he's back in town. We both missed a great opportunity here, and I feel bummed the timing hasn't worked out. Thoughts? Anyone been through a similar situation and have any advice?
stamatia Posted January 10, 2019 Posted January 10, 2019 Are flights to his country really cheap? If it's not too far away, you could fly there for few days. Why not? You only live once
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