Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. We’e in love (he says he loves me, I love him). One thing that I find confusing and hurtful about his behaviour is his lack of contact and lack of replying to my texts. So for some context this doesn’t happen all the time. There could be weeks where he will contact me first saying “no text from you tonight?” Or asking how my day was. Then other weeks like this week he won’t text me much if at all and when I text him sometimes he doesn’t reply. I text him on Friday just a simple text saying “how much are we spending on each other for Christmas” (he previously asked me that a few days ago). So I wanted to know because I was going to go out and get him something so it was a legit question. He saw my text on Friday and still hasn’t responded and it’s sunday right now. So 3 days and no response? There’s no reason that I can think of that he wouldn’t respond. We haven’t had any fight. The last time I saw him on Monday he was lovey dovey towards me, very affectionate. On Monday when I saw him in person I did mention the fact that last week he again didn’t contact me for like 3 days. He just said he was up the walls in work. To be fair he does work as a chef so he works 6 days a week for about 12 hours. He’s also running the kitchen a lot more recently. He said coming up to Christmas time is very busy. So I thought okay but he had time to be online multiple times and post things on Facebook but he didn’t have time to text me, it makes me feel unwanted and like he’s not into me or even a tiny bit interested. When I told him how it made me feel he doesn’t care, he said just because he doesn’t message me doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss me or think about me. That he does think about me and miss me. I’m thinking ya right?! That’s exactly what it means right? I don’t get it because when I saw him Monday he did say he loves me and he was lovey dovey and cuddling me etc. He even woke up during the night to say “I’m yours nobody else’s”. Also I don’t know how this came up but we are talking about cheating and he basically said if I ever cheat then I don’t love him so he would dump me and forget about me while also beating up the guy to prove a point (ego talking here). So I said me too, if he cheats. Then he was just like “let’s stop talking about depressing things, I love you and you love me so no one is cheating on anyone” As of now I’m anxiously waiting for him to reply and thinking the worst that he’s cheating or doesn’t really love me or is not into me I hate this I miss him everyday and he doesn’t seem to miss me if he can go days without hearing from me. Help
Versacehottie Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 The most important question within all of this scenario is what is right for YOU. (though i would agree this level of communication does NOT fly at all, especially not replying for 3 days). If you stop trying to determine if what you are asking for is too much or "right" in a general sense, you can get some clarity on what is RIGHT for you and makes you feel good and in a good relationship. I would say that this isn't it and the whole thing is on his terms and amounts to hot/cold behavior. I wouldn't waste time trying to change him but would walk and find someone better suited. The more you invest in this person, the more you will hang around trying to make it work and see if what you are doing will help. Plus you will feel obligated if he makes any tiny effort at all. There comes a point in a relationship where you are at a crossroads and you decide what will make you happy long term. And this ain't it. *ps just a note to say that on the general scheme of things, i don't think this is sufficient either which i'm sure most people will chime in with. 2 years in, you want some level of progression and assurances by how much contact you have that this is leading somewhere (well most people do unless that is not your/his goal). By his actions, and he may not even realize it, that doesn't not sound like his goal and/or he is not capable/wired like that. Either way it's a bad investment for you. Move on. Good luck
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 The most important question within all of this scenario is what is right for YOU. (though i would agree this level of communication does NOT fly at all, especially not replying for 3 days). If you stop trying to determine if what you are asking for is too much or "right" in a general sense, you can get some clarity on what is RIGHT for you and makes you feel good and in a good relationship. I would say that this isn't it and the whole thing is on his terms and amounts to hot/cold behavior. I wouldn't waste time trying to change him but would walk and find someone better suited. The more you invest in this person, the more you will hang around trying to make it work and see if what you are doing will help. Plus you will feel obligated if he makes any tiny effort at all. There comes a point in a relationship where you are at a crossroads and you decide what will make you happy long term. And this ain't it. *ps just a note to say that on the general scheme of things, i don't think this is sufficient either which i'm sure most people will chime in with. 2 years in, you want some level of progression and assurances by how much contact you have that this is leading somewhere (well most people do unless that is not your/his goal). By his actions, and he may not even realize it, that doesn't not sound like his goal and/or he is not capable/wired like that. Either way it's a bad investment for you. Move on. Good luck Well it makes me feel anxious because I don’t know why he’s ignoring me. It makes me think well he can’t really love me all that much after all even though he says he does. His behaviour does seem hot and cold. One week he’s texting me a lot, the next he’s not even answering me. Even to go from Monday being all lovey dovey and affectionate to them distant and not answering me feels odd. We had a good time Monday it really felt like he does love me. I’m so confused. Why do you think he would be hot and cold? Especially given we’ve been together a long time. Does he just really not love me and is passing time? But still he’s stayed for 2 years with me :/
Versacehottie Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Well it makes me feel anxious because I don’t know why he’s ignoring me. It makes me think well he can’t really love me all that much after all even though he says he does. His behaviour does seem hot and cold. One week he’s texting me a lot, the next he’s not even answering me. Even to go from Monday being all lovey dovey and affectionate to them distant and not answering me feels odd. We had a good time Monday it really felt like he does love me. I’m so confused. Why do you think he would be hot and cold? Especially given we’ve been together a long time. Does he just really not love me and is passing time? But still he’s stayed for 2 years with me :/ Idk the answers. i could guess and speculate as i'm sure you have done. I would stop trying to define HIS whys and start trying to define YOUR limits and boundaries--create the life you want. Like i said what you CAN take from his actions is that he does things totally and fully on his terms. Is this how you SEE your love life playing out? As you said, it's making you anxious. As i would imagine, being dismissed, LITERALLY IGNORED would do. This probably isn't the life you want for yourself. To feel like an obligation and like you can't "build" and progress with someone. Without knowing the specifics, i would say he treats you this way because he CAN. And you still stay with him. It's become a pattern (those are hard to break & it is often pointless). He can love you AND take you for granted at same time and have no eye toward progressing things, giving more or fixing the pattern with you. You have to break your side of the pattern (i'd break up with him but if you are not ready to do that then break your pattern of being available when he has disappeared on you). To me, i think hot/cold people are uncomfortable with too much closeness and they create this pattern (in a variety of ways) to duplicate a dynamic that makes them feel in love and comfortable. (the dynamic itself makes them feel attraction or needing space). In other words it is not bound to change--at least with you. It may change if you were another person altogether unfortunately--which is why i wouldn't stick around and keep wasting time on this guy.
Insoc Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Ignoring someone is a form of abuse, sorry I'm equally bothered by it, and anyone in a relationship should not have to deal with it, especially if you are committed to each other. I'm not a big fan of texting, because it makes one even more impatient, face it everyone has their phone with them at all times, at least I do and people I know at work, there is no reason a text should go unanswered for days unless it's intentional. I'm kinda glad I grew up in the 80's as a teen, we didn't have any of this technology, landline or payphone was it, there was none of this instant messaging which IMHO creates a lot of issues when someone doesn't respond. You read reasons, but none of it adds up on why not respond, I now take slow responses or days of nothing, to be "not interested" or "not serious". I experienced it with some Women I have met, some are good and respond promptly, but I take the ones who don't respond as game players, I read up on it, not sure if Men do it, I never do, especially with someone I'm serious about or in a relationship with and "Love" is involved. I think you need to reevaluate your relationship, maybe there is someone else or he isn't happy? Again, I find excuses to be poor in this category.
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 Idk the answers. i could guess and speculate as i'm sure you have done. I would stop trying to define HIS whys and start trying to define YOUR limits and boundaries--create the life you want. Like i said what you CAN take from his actions is that he does things totally and fully on his terms. Is this how you SEE your love life playing out? As you said, it's making you anxious. As i would imagine, being dismissed, LITERALLY IGNORED would do. This probably isn't the life you want for yourself. To feel like an obligation and like you can't "build" and progress with someone. Without knowing the specifics, i would say he treats you this way because he CAN. And you still stay with him. It's become a pattern (those are hard to break & it is often pointless). He can love you AND take you for granted at same time and have no eye toward progressing things, giving more or fixing the pattern with you. You have to break your side of the pattern (i'd break up with him but if you are not ready to do that then break your pattern of being available when he has disappeared on you). To me, i think hot/cold people are uncomfortable with too much closeness and they create this pattern (in a variety of ways) to duplicate a dynamic that makes them feel in love and comfortable. (the dynamic itself makes them feel attraction or needing space). In other words it is not bound to change--at least with you. It may change if you were another person altogether unfortunately--which is why i wouldn't stick around and keep wasting time on this guy. Hmm I’m going to research hot and cold behaviour. So he’s only hot and cold with me but if he was with someone else he might not be hot and cold? I always thought that he was quite avoidant, he’s not good at expressing his feelings etc and he even admits this. But I thought we were doing well recently and he’s been texting me more but since 2 weeks it’s been way more sporadic. I’m more anxious but I think my anxious attachment style is excaberted by his avoidant and hot and cold behaviour. Does he just not love me enough or have enough feelings to want closeness with me? Like why would he be uncomfortable with too much closeness.
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 Ignoring someone is a form of abuse, sorry I'm equally bothered by it, and anyone in a relationship should not have to deal with it, especially if you are committed to each other. I'm not a big fan of texting, because it makes one even more impatient, face it everyone has their phone with them at all times, at least I do and people I know at work, there is no reason a text should go unanswered for days unless it's intentional. I'm kinda glad I grew up in the 80's as a teen, we didn't have any of this technology, landline or payphone was it, there was none of this instant messaging which IMHO creates a lot of issues when someone doesn't respond. You read reasons, but none of it adds up on why not respond, I now take slow responses or days of nothing, to be "not interested" or "not serious". I experienced it with some Women I have met, some are good and respond promptly, but I take the ones who don't respond as game players, I read up on it, not sure if Men do it, I never do, especially with someone I'm serious about or in a relationship with and "Love" is involved. I think you need to reevaluate your relationship, maybe there is someone else or he isn't happy? Again, I find excuses to be poor in this category. There’s no one else that I know of. We spend time together on the only day he gets off work and most of the time I’m not with him he’s working late until 11 or 12 at night unless he’s met someone else in that time I’m not sure. He was only saying Monday that he loves me I love him so we both aren’t gonna cheat etc. And he says he’s happy with me, he’s aleays happy to see me and says he loves me, is affectionate. There’s no indication he’s not happy. He even said he looks forward to seeing me when he gets his day off? So none of that sounds to me that he isn’t happy. Which makes me even more confused
Insoc Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 There’s no one else that I know of. We spend time together on the only day he gets off work and most of the time I’m not with him he’s working late until 11 or 12 at night unless he’s met someone else in that time I’m not sure. He was only saying Monday that he loves me I love him so we both aren’t gonna cheat etc. And he says he’s happy with me, he’s aleays happy to see me and says he loves me, is affectionate. There’s no indication he’s not happy. He even said he looks forward to seeing me when he gets his day off? So none of that sounds to me that he isn’t happy. Which makes me even more confused Unless he is involved with someone online, that's easy to hide, my Ex-Wife did it to me, was chatting with a guy for months till I caught on to it because she was using a Computer I rarely logged into, I saw she was on Hangouts daily and that was the tipping point. Just because he say's "I Love You" doesn't mean much, my Ex did the same thing, would say it, but she was just playing me till the other relationship was good enough to say Hasta la vista, baby.. Sometimes people do that, keep one foot in the door and another out, to not lose you or lose the other person, till the time is right to make the switch. Trust your gut on this one, don't rush into judgement but do a little digging and see why he is behaving this way, honestly I could never deal with it, there is nothing "clingy" or "insecure" about it, no matter what some people say, nobody is that busy to not answer text for days on end. Last Woman I was talking to, started doing the same thing, granted it wasn't committed nor were we in love, she would text me at 6:30AM in the morning when I was getting up and getting ready for work, then throughout the day she would be texting me and at night. When it ended and the delays started, I knew the spark wasn't there anymore, she either found someone else or lost interest.
Giraffe-A Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 That is alot of hours of work in a high demand kitchen. It is possible that he sees your messages and is too busy to respond and forgets. My ex and I had limited texting. We both love our jobs so we limited texts to good morning and goodnight. One time he forgot the passcode to the Ipad and asked him why he didnt text me. His reply was thar he didn’t it important enough to bug me at work about it and it could wait until I returned home. I actually did the same. But we got that out of the way while we were first dating. When I got home, his attention was all mine. There were days we couldn’t see each other and insteas of texting, he worked and I completed my erronds, chores, and visited my friends. I missed him the whole time and that longing made it all worth it when I finallly saw him. I don’t think you have a lost cause here. I feel that since you know he is working, you should use that time to focus on things you like doing. Feel happy thoughts when you think of him but leave that phone alone. Stop over analyzing FB too. Between his job and his time with you, he has to make time to contact everyone else at one through one post. And I can almost guarantee he posts from inside a bathroom stall. That text about how much you should spend on Christmas? Unnecessary! Girfts are surprises. They come from the heart. Instead of stressing this week, put your phone down for a bit, go do something fun on your own. Enjoy tourself. Feel good in your own company. When you’re with BF, tell him about the cool things you did, enjoy your time together and dont complain. You’ll begin to feel a change. Best of luck.
Versacehottie Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Hmm I’m going to research hot and cold behaviour. So he’s only hot and cold with me but if he was with someone else he might not be hot and cold? I always thought that he was quite avoidant, he’s not good at expressing his feelings etc and he even admits this. But I thought we were doing well recently and he’s been texting me more but since 2 weeks it’s been way more sporadic. I’m more anxious but I think my anxious attachment style is excaberted by his avoidant and hot and cold behaviour. Does he just not love me enough or have enough feelings to want closeness with me? Like why would he be uncomfortable with too much closeness. You could read up on it of course. I think you are basically experiencing it so you have first hand knowledge even if you don't understand the reasons. I think you are acting like you want to "fix" this or find the reasons which then you can attempt to fix. I personally think it's all pointless. We are not talking about a guy who you went on one date with from an app--we are talking about your boyfriend of 2 years. It seems like your pattern has developed to the point of where you are accepting these little bits (see bolded above) and considering them successes. That's what happens when one person is calling all the shots. Don't forget that your "anxious attachment" style validates him, makes him feel wanted and serve as an ego boost--when he wants it and kinda only then. It's not about does he love you enough but more THIS is how he shows his love with you (a pattern that has developed and has your stamp of approval thus far by continuing in a relationship with him). Sometimes you just get far enough in with a person and once the shine is off (good behavior in initial dating), you discover they can't meet your needs. Of course, he may be doing things with others and he may just be apathetic or need a good amount of space personally. Your mistake in trying to figure out his motives and reasons (apart from it being a wasted exercise) is that you are processing it through your own thought patterns which are different than his. Don't assume that he processes things (closeness, etc) the way you do--this is why it is almost completely unproductive to try to change him and you really would be better off (and in a stronger position!!) to evaluate things solely from the point of view of what works for you and what doesn't and make your decisions. I did leave out the step where you communicate what you need/want IN ORDER to be in what you consider a happy relationship that you would want to continue. I guess i'm assuming you have done that which is why you are getting dribbles of "progress". I don't think it will get better if i'm being 100% honest here though. Sorry. You need to put yourself first--if ONLY to change the dynamic.
Gretchen12 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 How often does he not answer a question? You gave one example. Actually he already asked you the same question before so was the answer already previously discussed? How many times would you say a specific question goes unanswered in a month? Sometimes I also not respond to a text, when the person is just repeating what I already texted before. One guy I was dating, texted me an exact text I sent him, as if he copied and pasted mine. I couldn't answer.
Insoc Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 That is alot of hours of work in a high demand kitchen. It is possible that he sees your messages and is too busy to respond and forgets. I know people that sit down on the toilet with their phone and also take it to bed, sorry unless you are very popular and get hundreds of texts a day from a big social network, the one you love should always be a priority.
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 That is alot of hours of work in a high demand kitchen. It is possible that he sees your messages and is too busy to respond and forgets. My ex and I had limited texting. We both love our jobs so we limited texts to good morning and goodnight. One time he forgot the passcode to the Ipad and asked him why he didnt text me. His reply was thar he didn’t it important enough to bug me at work about it and it could wait until I returned home. I actually did the same. But we got that out of the way while we were first dating. When I got home, his attention was all mine. There were days we couldn’t see each other and insteas of texting, he worked and I completed my erronds, chores, and visited my friends. I missed him the whole time and that longing made it all worth it when I finallly saw him. I don’t think you have a lost cause here. I feel that since you know he is working, you should use that time to focus on things you like doing. Feel happy thoughts when you think of him but leave that phone alone. Stop over analyzing FB too. Between his job and his time with you, he has to make time to contact everyone else at one through one post. And I can almost guarantee he posts from inside a bathroom stall. That text about how much you should spend on Christmas? Unnecessary! Girfts are surprises. They come from the heart. Instead of stressing this week, put your phone down for a bit, go do something fun on your own. Enjoy tourself. Feel good in your own company. When you’re with BF, tell him about the cool things you did, enjoy your time together and dont complain. You’ll begin to feel a change. Best of luck. Yes he does work a lot of hours. I understand this. And he has been given more responsibility in the kitchen by running it. Kind of being head chef I suppose. But when I see he’s been online since I text him and also posting things on social media it makes me think well he’s not THAT busy that he can’t text me back. Also the text about the present. He previously asked me on Tuesday how much are we spending on each other. I replied I don’t know, what do you think. He replied he doesn’t mind. So then on Friday I asked him that because I wanted to clarify because I was heading out to get something. And he never replied lol
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 How often does he not answer a question? You gave one example. Actually he already asked you the same question before so was the answer already previously discussed? How many times would you say a specific question goes unanswered in a month? Sometimes I also not respond to a text, when the person is just repeating what I already texted before. One guy I was dating, texted me an exact text I sent him, as if he copied and pasted mine. I couldn't answer. Hmm how often? Well I don’t know exactly but I think the majority of the time if I text him, he DOES reply. Two thirds of the time he probably does. Sometimes he sees the message and doesn’t respond. Sometimes he does respond but then if I text he might not reply back again for a bit. Also the text about the present. He previously asked me on Tuesday how much are we spending on each other. I replied I don’t know, what do you think. He replied he doesn’t mind. So then on Friday I asked him that because I wanted to clarify because I was heading out to get something. And he never replied to that.
elaine567 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Has he ever done this before? Essentially MIA since Tuesday - 5 days...
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 Has he ever done this before? Essentially MIA since Tuesday - 5 days... No it hasn’t been 5 days. We spoke on Thursday. He initiated the conversation because he was asking about something to be collected from a store. Then we spoke for a bit. It’s been Friday, Saturday and today we haven’t spoken. He has done this before but normally if I text him directly he does reply. Last week he was mia for 3 days again but that time I hadn’t text him so essentially we just didn’t talk but when I did eventually text him he did reply.
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 You could read up on it of course. I think you are basically experiencing it so you have first hand knowledge even if you don't understand the reasons. I think you are acting like you want to "fix" this or find the reasons which then you can attempt to fix. I personally think it's all pointless. We are not talking about a guy who you went on one date with from an app--we are talking about your boyfriend of 2 years. It seems like your pattern has developed to the point of where you are accepting these little bits (see bolded above) and considering them successes. That's what happens when one person is calling all the shots. Don't forget that your "anxious attachment" style validates him, makes him feel wanted and serve as an ego boost--when he wants it and kinda only then. It's not about does he love you enough but more THIS is how he shows his love with you (a pattern that has developed and has your stamp of approval thus far by continuing in a relationship with him). Sometimes you just get far enough in with a person and once the shine is off (good behavior in initial dating), you discover they can't meet your needs. Of course, he may be doing things with others and he may just be apathetic or need a good amount of space personally. Your mistake in trying to figure out his motives and reasons (apart from it being a wasted exercise) is that you are processing it through your own thought patterns which are different than his. Don't assume that he processes things (closeness, etc) the way you do--this is why it is almost completely unproductive to try to change him and you really would be better off (and in a stronger position!!) to evaluate things solely from the point of view of what works for you and what doesn't and make your decisions. I did leave out the step where you communicate what you need/want IN ORDER to be in what you consider a happy relationship that you would want to continue. I guess i'm assuming you have done that which is why you are getting dribbles of "progress". I don't think it will get better if i'm being 100% honest here though. Sorry. You need to put yourself first--if ONLY to change the dynamic. I guess I’m trying to find the reasons or fix it because I’m taking it VERY personal. Like there’s something about me that makes him not want to contact me or he’s not interested in me. It makes me second guess where I stand with him. When I get to see him in person and he says he loves me I really feel like he does, he seems genuine saying it. I feel loved when I get to see him. And he’s affectionate and says he misses me bla bla but when we’re apart and I don’t get contact from him or I’m ignored I think something it wrong and he’s about to break up with me or something. Then I DONT feel loved. So I go from feeling loved to not feeling it quite a bit. I have brought it up to him about not messaging me and he replied with just because he doesn’t messsge me doesn’t mean he doesn’t think of me or miss me.
Gretchen12 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 He previously asked me on Tuesday how much are we spending on each other. I replied I don’t know, what do you think. He replied he doesn’t mind. So then on Friday I asked him that because I wanted to clarify because I was heading out to get something. And he never replied to that. Problem not being solved. He asked because he doesn't know. You reply you don't know. So now neither of you knows. Then you ask the same question, knowing that he doesn't know. If he had replied, we already know his reply would have been "I don't know". I am guessing he has long ago decided you go on with "woman's talk" and that much of your texts are unimportant. He doesn't take it seriously. Do you think you should text your boyfriend different from how you chat with your girlfriends? It doesn't seem right to give up without trying to work this out. 1
Gretchen12 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Actually texting is your way to connect emotionally. But maybe he just looks at the content like answering work emails? What do you think?
hippychick3 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 I find it very strange after being together for 2 years to go 3 days without any contact at all. And on top of that, to not spend any part of the weekend together or touch base? I’m sorry, OP. I’d feel the same way you do and I would not feel happy or fulfilled with this type of “part time” relationship. Even when not being together physically, there should be some type of connection. I don’t sense any connection between you two when you’re apart. This would not work for me. I’m sorry to say...but, I suspect there’s someone else. 2
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 I find it very strange after being together for 2 years to go 3 days without any contact at all. And on top of that, to not spend any part of the weekend together or touch base? I’m sorry, OP. I’d feel the same way you do and I would not feel happy or fulfilled with this type of “part time” relationship. Even when not being together physically, there should be some type of connection. I don’t sense any connection between you two when you’re apart. This would not work for me. I’m sorry to say...but, I suspect there’s someone else. Why do you suspect there’s someone else?
hippychick3 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Why do you suspect there’s someone else? Him being MIA all weekend
Author Bettyboo456 Posted December 23, 2018 Author Posted December 23, 2018 (edited) Him being MIA all weekend Hmm it’s possible but I don’t think it’s likely, he works all weekend so he won’t get out of work until about 11pm or 12am so unless he’s meeting someone then? Because at weekends he’s pretty much working all day. From about 8 or 9am until the night. That’s exactly why we don’t meet on weekends because he works so late we don’t have the time to meet. We live 20 minutes away from each other. Whenever he gets a day off work we do spend time together Edited December 23, 2018 by Bettyboo456 More detail
chillii Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 l dunno , you've known him 2yrs, you should know the type of person he is and how he ticks , better than anyone. So you should know well and truly if he is the type of person that needs or likes lots of contact,or if he's just too ran off his feet at work and just too had it after work and face down in bed for 10 hours or wth, if he doesn't even have time for talking to you at work or anyone outside of work, you should know all that and much much more. But for a start though, that is a lotta hours and in a very high pressured job. l knew a chef running a kitchen sounds very similar and about the same hours , he was run of his feet at work and exhausted after work. So on his one day off he was pretty well good for nothin anyway he was so tired. And no way he'd have time to text much or calls at work he had a team and customers and pressures on his case non stop. So given his job and that you don't seem to understand him all that much or know that much about just what it's like for him at work, it's hard to say. He could just be too damn busy and too tired later, or he might just be feeling pretty low key about you guys.
hippychick3 Posted December 23, 2018 Posted December 23, 2018 Hmm it’s possible but I don’t think it’s likely, he works all weekend so he won’t get out of work until about 11pm or 12am so unless he’s meeting someone then? Because at weekends he’s pretty much working all day. From about 8 or 9am until the night. That’s exactly why we don’t meet on weekends because he works so late we don’t have the time to meet. We live 20 minutes away from each other. Whenever he gets a day off work we do spend time together I understand he is working all weekend and may be unable to actually meet up. But to be completely MIA with zero contact is highly suspect.
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