almostthere Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 OK...maybe all men are emotional. I was dating a guy I just broke up with for a few reasons. but the biggest would be his emotions. he would cry almost every argument we got into. he would cry about me being a bartender almost every week. He would cry about something between us almost once a week. I dont think I've ever cried in front of him yet. It's almost like I am the strong independant man and hes the woman. i cant get used to this. however i do love him and do want to get back together(i think) i just dont know how to deal with the emotions. I only cry when someone dies pretty much. here and there about my divorce but i'd say thats 1 or 2 times a year. anyone else dealing with an emotional guy out there that could give me advice?
shygurl Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Wow. I'd feel a lot like you if I were with a guy who was THIS emotional, geez...........I'd also feel like "the man" in the relationship and he was "the woman" and it would feel far too unbalanced for comfort. Do you feel his tears were genuine or perhaps he read somewhere that women are attracted to men who show their feelings so he was taking it to a whole new level in an attempt to impress you? Why would he cry about you being a bartender? - jealous that you're doing a job that puts you in touch with good looking guys? (read: jealousy) Hmm, don't know what else to say. If this is genuinely just a part of who he is, you'd have to either learn how to accept and respect it or move on. I myself can't stand whiny men who snivel and are sucky-babies so dealing with a guy who's shedding tears each week would make me lose respect for him, particularly if the what's bringing him to tears are just everyday "life" kinds of things. Would make me wonder how mentally equipped he is to deal with life.
JS17 Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 my sister is dating (and living) with an emotional guy. personally, i think dealing with someone emotional is a skill that you have to develop. it helps if you grew up with a parent or sibling that was very emotional. you learn how to deal with it.
Jennifer'sSecret Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Ask ConfusedinOC's ex-girlfriend, I bet she knows. Kidding!! In all seriousness, I don't blame you for ending that relationship. I can't deal with an overly emotional man either. I'd actually prefer I never see him cry, except for a death in the family or the birth of his child.
Cecelius Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Wait -- isn't this a double standard... Usually women deal with men like that by dumping them, so it looks like you did it right
shygurl Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius Wait -- isn't this a double standard... Usually women deal with men like that by dumping them, so it looks like you did it right Maybe it is a double standard but what woman wants to be with a man who's a crybaby? I guess the same could be said for a guy who isn't crazy about being with an overly emotional woman who cries frequently. Whether it's a guy or gal, someone who cries this easily, this often - they have some definite emotional issues there - period. Who wants to be with someone you have to walk on eggshells around for fear if you don't, you'll set off a cryfest? That's just plain awkward. I know for me, I want an equal in the relationship, someone who's emotionally stable. ANYONE who cries on a weekly basis over little things is NOT emotionally stable.
scared shy Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 All I know is that my ex was a crier too. It got to be very draining. I want a man BF not a GF. Emotional sure, but a cry baby NO!! And it's not a double standard by any means, it's just the way it is... the man is the big strong one and woman is the sensitive and emotional one, in my world at least.
New_Wife Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Ooh, I can feel your pain. Not only can I not stand it when a guy is a crybaby, I can't stand it when a girl is either. I think tears can be the ultimate form of manipulation, because they throw the dry-eyed partner into the "bad guy/girl" role by default. Unless a person is genuinely in pain (death in family, cancer diagnosis, break up, loss of limb, etc.) I tend to doubt the veracity of tears on most occasions. Good luck with the break up. It seems like more tears may be on the way.
Samantha2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 It's almost like I am the strong independant man and hes the woman. Thats a matter of genetics. It determines our emotional makeup just as it determines the colour of our eyes, hair, body build and every unique thing about us. He'll most likely always be this way so if you can't handle it, I'd just move on. Do you know his family? If so do you know them well enough to talk to and perhaps breech this subject in a polite way ? They'll tell you straight off if it's his nature or perhaps some recent personal issue. Try to talk to one of them or a good, old friend if you want to be completely sure.
tanbark813 Posted July 14, 2005 Posted July 14, 2005 Originally posted by Jennifer'sSecret Ask ConfusedinOC's ex-girlfriend, I bet she knows. Actually she bailed so she doesn't know how to deal with it either.
poindimie Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I wouldn't mind a crier. Granted, it would be a bit annoying if it was all the time, but if someone is in touch with their emotions I feel like I could trust them more. Plus I would feel like an equal partner instead of living in thinly veiled 1950's gender roles. Plus, emotions can play havoc with someone. As for me, have gone through a lot in the last few months (deaths, family divorces, sickness etc) and even though they occured a number of months ago and I think I have delt with them, small things can scratch the surface and get me emotional (a song, or remembering a memory) and make feel deeply sad and cry. I imagine it would be the same for a lot of people. Maybe those things you mentioned are just triggers for deeper issues?
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I was raised in a non-emotional family. A guy I dated in HS (5 yrs total) was very emotional, and I liked that about him. I rarely cry at movies. I might get a lump in my throat but my husband cried watching the Hunchback of NotreDame (animated Disney version) LOL. Most of the time he has tears streaming down his face - tries to hide it from me, it's so cute. Well, was....we're not together anymore (just one of those ol' memories).
Pocky Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I don't think it's natural for anyone to cry that much regardless of which gender they are. In my opinion, continuous crying is a sign of something more serious and I would consider your boyfriend's mental state. Could it be possible that he's depressed and is using the relationship as an outlet for his feelings?
griftymcgriff Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Wow, girls against guys who are slightly more emotional then most girls never thought i'd see this, usualy its like He never listens and just watches tv all day hehe! Im sort of one of those guys, altho i never really cry. i've cried once, because i had real self esteem issues and just woke up and wanted to go to sleep and never wake up, and once when my gf was being an ass to me like acting as if she was the happiest girl in the world after saying i want a break from this relationship and getting her way again. Can you blame me tho? :S
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by almostthere He would cry about something between us almost once a week. Wow !! I think this is a sign of deeper issues that are going on inside his head.. Time to look deeper into whether or not you want to see how else his issues manifest themselves
Recommended Posts