jjb117 Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 I’ve dated a lot in my past, probably a good 30 different girls, and have gotten to know many people very well. It usually takes me a while to warm up to a girl, as in for her to catch my eye, but this girl as of recent has literally blown me away. I have never felt this sure about someone. She’s brought a side of me I’ve never saw before. Yet, sadly...things all had to end. She said she liked me a lot, but the distance between us was going to be a problem. We’re about an hour away from each other but considering none of us don’t have cars and we’re both in college makes things harder. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll make the trip there with NO HESITATION. I’d do that for her. But she says she not only wants to see me more than twice a week but needs me. She says she needs that kind of constant attention. That her last relationship crumbled because she only saw him once a week and that she’s scared she’ll fall for me but then end up having to relive that experience. It’s horrible. I wish I lived closer or she lived closer. Like I just know this girl is what I want in my life. So I don’t know. We both said our goodbyes, crying on the phone, but it doesn’t feel right to just let go of something that feels so right. She has to contact me later about something (doesn’t matter what) so I guess I’ll try to talk to her then, but guys, should I just give up this false hope and move on? Is fighting for her just gonna make me look pathetic? Listen, I’m willing to put everything on the line and let her know she means a lot. Mainly because I’ve been searching for this kind of connection, and I know for a fact it doesn’t come often in this life. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 You've been on how many actual dates with this girl - two or three? Hasn't she flaked on you a couple of times? She's not interested. She may be letting you down easy by blaming her neediness and anxiety, but if she really liked you, she'd make it work. Or at least go on a couple more dates with you; she's not even willing to do that. You're both in college, surrounded by peers of the opposite sex. The odds of it lasting were low to begin with. Let it go, focus on your studies. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 I'm in a city where everything is an hour away. Personally, I'd be happy to make a few hour journeys every week to see someone bringing out the feelings you described. Some people have international relationships and wish their lover was only an hour away. When I was 17 my gf was an hour away, never stopped me getting on the bus to see her on a school night. If an hour journey is the only reason you broke up, this might not be the relationship for you. A couple will have to endure far worse eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kelliousme Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 Uh honestly speaking, as a girl myself if I were to be interested in a guy.. 1 hr distance is NOTHING lol. Her excuse isn't valid from my point of view. It's not like you guys are miles and miles apart, requiring at least 5 hours of driving or even an airplane ride. So my only conclusion is that she's just not that into you. She probably likes you but doesn't like you enough to want to make things work. No you shouldn't fight for her. I'd move on if I were you. There's no reason to hold onto to someone who is afraid to commit because you guys are only going to see each other twice week. That's just dumb. There are so many couples out there who only see each other twice a week... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 She doesn't want to make it work, OP. She's trying in a few different ways to tell you that she isn't interested, thinking that if she chooses something (distance) that neither of you can change that you will not press the issue. You would be wise to read between the lines, my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 What do you find so special about this particular girl that would make you do for her that you haven't done for others? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 There is nothing here to fight for. You're wanting what you can't have--that's all this is. What you're not hearing her say, but is screaming loudly from what you've written is that she's not about to arse herself to come see you more than once a week--she's expecting you to do all of that heavy lifting. You say "cool!! Let's do it !!!" now, but what happens when it's 7 months into this and you're starting to feel like taking the hour long ride to see her has become an obligation and drudge because she isn't meeting you 50/50 on this? And what exactly does she do when she's not getting attention from the guy who dates her? Does she seek it out in other guys and ends up cheating? Is that what she didn't finish saying? Just set her adrift--the aggravation is more than the reward here. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 So a week ago you were seeing her and another girl....and now all of a sudden you want to go to the ends of the earth for her? She's just giving you a song and dance. There is a possibility she has other plans. Anyways no don't fight for her, you have easier options waiting for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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