Epidemic of flakes this year. What am I doing wrong?

[Philosopher]

Since the start of year, exactly half the women I have exchanged numbers with have either flaked on me or have put off dates.

 

First women, kept on refusing my ideas for a date, however we eventually agreed on a time and a date in Central London. The day before the date, she used an excuse about a broken car to cancel the date. She lived about 20 miles outside London. I did not try to rearrange a date.

 

Second women, agreed to date, but then cancelled due to illness and postponed the date to a week later, which would have been over two weeks after I first suggested meeting up. Three days before the date, she said she may have cancel. At this point I decided to cancel the date as I assumed she was not interested.

 

Third women, was very chatty on Whatsapp. Blocked me on Whatsapp after she accused me of not being interested in her and said I was taking too long to reply to messages. On the evening she said this, I was with a friend so could have not realistically replied immediately. In addition I could not meet up with her until the subsequent week due to a long weekend holiday with a friend.

 

Fourth women, was slow at texting and insisted on a phone call, however she kept putting off the phone call. When the phone call finally happened, said she was busy and would call later. She never called back and I did not call her.

 

Fifth women, I called her, however she found an excuse to end the call after 1 minute without providing an opportunity to arrange a date.

 

Sixth women, this flake occurred today, given the lack of success when calling the previous two times, I decided it would be safer to stick to messaging. We arranged a date for a week later, it was a bit tricky to find a time when we were both free, however from her messaging she seemed very keen. She engaged in quite a bit of small talk over Whatsapp, which generally I am not keen on, until we meet, I prefer to restrict messaging to arranging the date. Cancelled three hours before the date with what appeared to be an excuse.

 

All these dates have been from online dating. In general before this year, about 10% to 20% of women would flake on me. Generally I like to meet up within a week of exchanging numbers. Generally I prefer to set up dates over the phone.

[smackie9]

Online is crap. There are a lot of crap people on there. It's more of a miss rather than a hit. What's wrong with meeting women organically?

[Philosopher]

I do try to meet people organically and have met up with a couple women from meetup groups over the past year and half. Even if I do meet people people organically though, what is there to say that these flaking issues will still not occur?

[guest569]

Does any small talk occur? I don't go on dates until I know if I want to which requires some chatting prior.

[Ruby Slippers]

I just started doing online dating about a month ago, and most of the people on these sites are low quality for one reason or another. Flakiness is pretty prevalent among men as well. But you do find the rare decent person. I'm stepping up my social life again as well, hoping to meet better men that way.

 

I've learned to filter heavily on dating sites. About 99 out of 100 men who message me are time-wasters. I don't agree to meet until after at least a few days of messaging/texting and a phone call. Establishing a bit more of a connection in advance weeds out most - not all, but most - of the time-wasters.

[alphamale]

All these dates have been from online dating. .

 

welcome to OLD

[smackie9]

I never did online dating but a friend of mine did when it was a new thing. It was just as horrible then as it is today. A lot of misrepresentation, people who do not have their $%^& together, or have very high expectations, weirdos, jerks, etc. Why? because it so accessible. I find people who go out and socialize to meet people are actually putting in an effort because they know they do have something to offer. I see such a disadvantage with the internet. You get a better feel for someone talking to them irl when it is random.

 

 

 

Oh well good luck to ya all.

[Philosopher]

Does any small talk occur? I don't go on dates until I know if I want to which requires some chatting prior.

 

I do exchange a couple of messages on the OLD website prior to meeting up and if we speak on the phone I will spend about 5 minutes in small talk before suggesting meeting up.

 

If a phone call does not occur though I tend to restrict messaging to organising the date. As an individual I am not really that into small talk.