LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Not texting back


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree1Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 16th September 2018, 9:53 AM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 56
Not texting back

So, I've known this girl for several months. Over the summer, we texted each other everyday, and even though we were both out of town, we still kept in contact.

Then, one day in August, she suddenly stopped texting back. The next few days, I was a little hurt. I felt like texting her again and asking her what's up, but at the time, I felt that I needed to give her some space, since I was afraid that perhaps she might've gotten tired of me for whatever reason. (BTW, the last text was about some random store we visited before, so it's safe to say I didn't do or say anything wrong.) I also found out through a mutual friend that she had gotten a new phone (same number) that same day she stopped texting back. Still, I don't think that's any reason to cease communication with someone? If anything, shouldn't she be the one to initiate contact?

So fast forward to now. A good month or so has passed, and we're both back in town. I saw her in person and asked her what's up with not texting back and just disappearing. She told me the same thing -- that she had gotten a new phone, and even though she still has my number, she lost all of her messages. Others have told me "she admitted to not knowing who ended the conversation and who should begin the new one that she just didn't respond at all". Lol...really?

I know this whole thing might sound petty and all lol, and I do plan on breaking this deadlock once and for all, but I wanted to hear others' opinions on this. Do girls do this? Should I have been the one to reach out? What do you guys think was going on? Thanks.
bmne90 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th September 2018, 9:57 AM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 570
The sad reality is, girls only do this when they have a low interest and/r have met someone else. Your response should always be to go complete NC and move on. Date other people.

This happens to everyone in the dasting world, its no biggy. Just learn to move on when your desire for communication isn't reciprocated.
fromheart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th September 2018, 10:02 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 59
Sounds extreme about not knowing who ended the convo and not knowing if she should text first but actually believable to me. Especially if someone else is confirming it. I will not double text in the beginning and wait for the guy to initiate conversation most of the time.

If it is going well and I like the guy, I will occasionally send the first text to show interest but I do pay very close attention to who texted last, even if it was the end of a conversation the night before.
RedHead5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th September 2018, 11:18 AM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 589
The "who texted last" excuse is lame.

If she had enough interest in you she would definitely have texted you without worrying who texted last.

Maybe her interest will grow if you spend more time together, but I wouldn't count on anything at the moment.
Finding my way is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th September 2018, 11:48 AM   #5
New Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by bmne90 View Post
So, I've known this girl for several months. Over the summer, we texted each other everyday, and even though we were both out of town, we still kept in contact.

Then, one day in August, she suddenly stopped texting back. The next few days, I was a little hurt. I felt like texting her again and asking her what's up, but at the time, I felt that I needed to give her some space, since I was afraid that perhaps she might've gotten tired of me for whatever reason. (BTW, the last text was about some random store we visited before, so it's safe to say I didn't do or say anything wrong.) I also found out through a mutual friend that she had gotten a new phone (same number) that same day she stopped texting back. Still, I don't think that's any reason to cease communication with someone? If anything, shouldn't she be the one to initiate contact?<snip>
Have you been out on a date?

When it comes to texting, the best thing is not to have lengthy conversations and after obtaining a woman's phone number is invite her out on a date.

I used to text a lot and quite often to build attraction and rapport I feel its an ineffective way to do so. Also if you are having long text conversations, women will put you in a "text-buddy" box and she will be less likely to meet up with you on a date. After you met say you spoke about labradors, and on the same day your neighbours one comes and jumps on you, you could mention as that's contextual, however it should be minimal.

Bottom line is after obtaining a woman's phone number you should not use it to build rapport or attraction. The mere fact of her giving you her number means that she likes you enough and its your role now to ask her out and get her out on a date.

Hope this helps.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 16th September 2018 at 12:14 PM.. Reason: Truncate quote
singletotaken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th September 2018, 12:22 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 11,543
Eh, she likely just met someone else who redirected her attention. Not knowing who ended the conversation first is an excuse, and irrelevant when you've been talking for a while.

Did you two ever date, or just texted?
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th September 2018, 12:23 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 56
Update

Update: So she took the initiative and ended up sending a text. Asked some weird question about this mutual friend of ours, and now we're back to texting everyday.

This comes after I vented at our mutual friend about her seemingly ignoring me. She went as far as to send a group photo to our group text (as well as directly to everyone else in the chat) but not to me lol. That's what got me upset, and not long after venting to our mutual friend, she suddenly started texting me. Very confusing.

And @ExpatInItaly, I wouldn't say we "dated", we just hung out a lot in the past. She even once said she preferred hanging out in a group, which I thought was pretty obvious that she wasn't interested in me. But thing is, if she weren't interested, why would she be talking about me so much? And inviting me into her circle of friends? Even introducing me to her parents at one point? And what's funny is that I noticed she doesn't text her girlfriends as much as we do on a daily basis. So I'm very lost here.
bmne90 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th September 2018, 2:39 AM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 11,543
Ask her on a date, OP. One-to-one. Then you'll know if she's actually interested, or if she sees you just as a friend or a guy to pass time with when she's bored and wants attention.
ExpatInItaly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th September 2018, 7:32 AM   #9
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 29,771
Her excuse is lame. She could have been testing you which isn't good either. She may have been trying to see if you would reach out. A month is a long time for you to have let this go. Now she may think you don't care. Reaching out to mutual friends about her activities interest is rather middle school behavior; you would have been better served talking to her about a week in.

Since she is back talking to you, let this bump in the road go. Talking it to death now will only kill whatever fledging interest does exist.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How much texting is too much texting from a guy? meanthingsisaid Dating 19 22nd January 2016 6:52 PM
Women Not Texting Back to a Direct Question.....Highly Irritating mrgoodcat Dating 70 28th September 2014 7:16 PM
Have i made the right decision in not texting him back? Susan1234567 Dating 2 8th March 2013 9:34 PM
recent fling, now not texting back analyzer Dating 6 25th November 2012 1:16 AM
does not texting/calling back mean something's not good? :) flirtatwork Dating 13 3rd November 2011 8:56 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:59 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.