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Why does my boyfriend get turned on when I cry?

Mon_1609

By Mon_1609,
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Mon_1609

Mon_1609

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He is very possessive and that is why i don't like about him.

Sometimes we fight and he says very hurtful things to me and that makes me cry and when i cry he always wants to have sex with me, he doesn't even ask me and im so desperate for some comfort that I just let him. It hurts me that he doesn't care about my feelings and he always seems to put me down and then gets turned on about that.

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littleblackheart

littleblackheart

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This sounds like a very sadistic thing to do but tbh, the fights, the fact he is very possessive and abusive are of equal concern.

 

Also, don't let him have sex with you for comfort. This isn't comfort, this is abuse. I'm sorry you have to live through this.

 

This does look like a very, very dysfunctional and toxic relationship, OP.

 

What's stopping you from leaving? As a spoiler, I will tell you straight up this will only get worse.

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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Why are you still in this relationship?

 

You have the option of walking away from all this.

 

You have the option of finding a good guy for boyfriend.

 

If you wanted you could stop crying today by breaking up with him

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preraph

preraph

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Because he's a pretty low individual who can only get excited when someone is much much weaker than him because it makes him feel powerful. It's sick. Why are you with this abuser?

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stillafool

stillafool

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Man when someone makes me cry I don't want comfort I want a knife. Any way OP, break up with this abusive fool. Some guys are just....;

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smackie9

smackie9

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He's playing out his fantasy of rape. He uses sex as a weapon...he controls you by making you desperate for comfort. Eventually he won't wait for you to give in, he's just gonna pin you down and force you to have sex, leaving you confused, and helpless which is his end goal. He's beating you down into submission. GET OUT NOW! leave the bastard.

Edited by smackie9
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Lotsgoingon

Lotsgoingon

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I have no idea why you're dating this guy.'

 

This treatment ... humiliating you into tears ... and then sexually getting all up on you ... without your permission (Note that qualifies as "assault") ... nothing good at all about this guy.

 

Run sister. Run!

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coolheadal

coolheadal

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He is very possessive and that is why i don't like about him.

Sometimes we fight and he says very hurtful things to me and that makes me cry and when i cry he always wants to have sex with me, he doesn't even ask me and im so desperate for some comfort that I just let him. It hurts me that he doesn't care about my feelings and he always seems to put me down and then gets turned on about that.

 

My dear you let him control you. Now he knows how to be the Puppet Master in your relationship. Well you have strong well man there they don't care about anyone else but themselves. Your not into a weak well man they wouldn't do that he does and they would care. 1/2 of a man part strong and part nice would fair better for you but you don't have that option. You got what you wanted now you just put up with his abuse. Which you should do, but might be too late for you to tell him NO!

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Lorenza

Lorenza

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I've experienced something similar when I was younger and very naive.

He would scold and reprimand me for some behavior he didn't like (for example playing games on my phone), say harsh, hurtful things until I would start crying. Then he would act cold and dismissive to the point of me having an anxiety attack and that's where we would suddenly decide to "forgive" me and have sex with me.

 

People who love you love seeing you happy. A loving mentally stable bf will get turned on by your confidence, smile and laughter, not tears and anxiety

Edited by Lorenza
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kendahke

kendahke

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He is very possessive and that is why i don't like about him.

Sometimes we fight and he says very hurtful things to me and that makes me cry and when i cry he always wants to have sex with me, he doesn't even ask me and im so desperate for some comfort that I just let him. It hurts me that he doesn't care about my feelings and he always seems to put me down and then gets turned on about that.

 

Why is he still your boyfriend?

 

If the person you're with treats you in any way other than well, and you keep sticking around trying to make it work, you're no longer a victim of what they're doing--you're a volunteer. ~ Derrick Jaxn --look him up on youtube and listen to his videos

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littleblackheart

littleblackheart

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You got what you wanted now you just put up with his abuse. Which you should do, but might be too late for you to tell him NO!

 

?????? Your lack of empathy is stunning.

 

OP, it is never too late to say no.

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Ruby Slippers

Ruby Slippers

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I agree he sounds like a sadist.

 

One thing I've learned is that if you have to wonder if someone's a good person, you can be 99.9% sure they're not.

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preraph

preraph

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I've experienced something similar when I was younger and very naive.

He would scold and reprimand me for some behavior he didn't like (for example playing games on my phone), say harsh, hurtful things until I would start crying. Then he would act cold and dismissive to the point of me having an anxiety attack and that's where we would suddenly decide to "forgive" me and have sex with me.

 

People who love you love seeing you happy. A loving mentally stable bf will get turned on by your confidence, smile and laughter, not tears and anxiety

 

^This. A man who loves you or even knows how to love doesn't want to make you feel bad. My guess is he can't even love. So you're wishing on a dry well there and need to give up him changing.

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act00

act00

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It's not that it turns him on...he thinks make-up sex solves everything...except it's not make-up sex. He's just cruel. Men often need sex to feel loved, while women need to feel the love before the sex...the battle of the sexes...and this may be a component to his behavior, but your boyfriend is just plain an abusive jerk. If he says such things to you that it causes you to drop to the floor in a puddle of tears? This is just plain cruelty and abuse.

 

You are better than this. A loving boyfriend doesn't make you feel afraid and sad all the time, walking on eggshells, and suffering so much cruelty you cry. You don't feel the need to spread your legs to appease him, as if this is some sort of apology, only to be beaten by his words yet again.

 

Walk away from this one. He's a jerk.

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mortensorchid

mortensorchid

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He's either evil or immature.

 

I knew someone who loved making women cry. He loved screaming and putting them down. He was evil, I realized. Another is a friend of mine who just loves to annoy people to the point that they are angry with them or crying, and he validates what he says by saying "It's cute when they're angry". The only time he apologizes is when you tell him to go f*** himself. I don't know what else to say on the matter other than that.

 

But this guy you are talking about? Run away.

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