Should I move forward? Or is this crossing the line in a work environment?

[Spractor]

I need advice on a work relations.

I am in charge of security clearances and projects people are entered into that are going to be part of contracts, more specifically with the government. The person in particular is going to be a contractor for the company I work for. as a gov contracor. I handled all of his paperwork and clearances for this project.

 

I did his fingerprints and clearance paperwork for this process. We had a good connection but I don't know if this was just business. (This situation was different compared to more than 200 people who I have processed.) How do I tell if we were flirting with another? Also he asked me about the fourth of July but I don't know if he was just being nice or making conversation. He had to come back for a second set of prints for the project he was on and he asked me about my car which I am buying soon. He mentioned his ex at one point regarding how his clearance he had required them to speak with her father and how this was funny how serious the clearances were taken.

 

The security clearance he is eligible for is higher than what he expected, so I see why he did mention that. We have communicated through email professionally regarding paper work but how do I know if he is flirting at all. I think he is super attractive and I would love to go out with him. Would it cross the line if I asked him out? He will not be working at my company and he will only be contractor not working in my office.

 

I feel weird because I have his cell number and I feel like that crosses the line, since that is in his email. He would only stop by the office I work maybe once a month if hired. Should I see if he contacts me at all? I need any advice because I really want to ask him out.. even just for coffee. Or is that crossing the line?

Edited July 11, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Lotsgoingon]

The million-dollar question: How to know that the other person is flirting?

 

The best guideline is similar to a guideline I discovered through social dance. So I do swing dance and it's very interactive ... almost conversational ... So if I'm having a good time dancing with someone, then it's highly likely they are having a good time dancing with me.

 

In the dancing world, that's called dancing "chemistry."

 

Here you're reporting that you experienced unusually powerful and playful energy between you and this contractor. And this was based on several interactions. That's key ... not based on seeing someone down the hall.

 

If you felt a charge and excitement ... and you also felt that he spoke to you in a friendlier tone and with more energy that required for the interaction, you two had some energy between you. Chemistry. Flirting is just showing more enthusiasm and interest in a person than literally required for the interaction.

 

So green light. If he's coming again, find a way to extend the conversation.

 

Or you can be bold ... put in the phone call ... and be honest. Hi, how are you, X ... Listen, I'm actually not calling on a business matter. I enjoyed our little moments talking and I wonder if you'd like to go out with me to dinner/movie, coffee?

 

No one would accuse you of stalking ... and if something developed, you would mention this to your supervisor so you have no conflict of interest.

 

Go for it.