rcrljmg07 Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 In a long distance relationship for 8 months, so at the moment texting in calling is all we have. It’s happened a few times now, we were texting throughout the morning a lot of sexual innuendo while she was at work, she was very receptive telling me she wanted me bad, etc, then we talk about places to visit, and I said it’s beautiful, after that I never heard from her all day and night, it was at about 430 last message, maybe I’m texting too much, but after all that we usually talk at night but a few times she just disappears.. Should I back off, because I feel like she’s not initiating enough or carrying the convo, I did this the other day and she did message me late, i didn’t see it till morning but then I went right back to texting too much I think.
kendahke Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 (edited) You might want to stop texting her like that during work because you (nor she for that matter) don't know who doesn't like her or who's checking for her not doing her work and don't need much of an excuse to narc on her. If you become the reason why she's going through disciplinary problems at work, then she's going to start putting distance between you and her, so a little less focus on you not getting a text on your timetable and a little more empathy for the woman trying to pay her bills. Save that sort of talk for when you know she's off work and has the time to focus on you. Other than that, people get busy with their day and it has nothing to do with how she feels about you. Or she just got tired of the texting or something/someone else caught her attention. This is what you have to deal with when you choose to be in LDR's. If you can't trust that her reasons are good (and if you don't have anything in your life to occupy your attention outside of receiving texts), then you're with the wrong person. If the people involved in the LDR don't have the discipline to be in one, it's going to fall apart. That's just how things go sometimes. Not all relationships will be successful. At the end of the day, relationships are conducted face to face/ in close proximity, not far away where there are other people and things to distract them if they already don't have self discipline to shut themselves and that sort of interaction down and not let it get to problem stage. Edited June 30, 2018 by kendahke 2
Pink86 Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 I disagree! I was in a year long distance relationship then finally moved out to live with my bf and now we are married. It will work if you both want it to. I think maybe she is busy. Does she have a stressful job? She could be out with friends etc... lots if reasons. When you’re not actually with the person its easy to get distracted. Why don’t you call more instead of text. Then you will know how her conversation is basically in person. Some people just hate texting. Or facetime her is even better. When I was long distance I wouldn’t text my bf alllllll day. We would chat maybe 1 time and then text a little throughout the day but she does have a life too.
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 If she's texting at work, you have to assume the conversation will drop off at some point. Texting & calling is not all you have. You have Skype & snail mail. Use them too. You also have to be working on a plan to meet & see each other. I'm not talking about moving just yet, but when can you be together? Focus on that next visit. When do you expect the distance to close & how?
Author rcrljmg07 Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 Well I understand about work texting, this was after she arrived home, I thought we would talk last night but she just didn’t say anything, yeah my last message didn’t require a response but I had been texting her for hours so she could have always said something or anything, I was planning on seeing her soon, within a few weeks, but idk this hot and cold is bugging me, like she’s always happy to talk to me and stuff but she used to call and text way more, and would never drop out for the rest of the night at 5pm, so it is bothersome.
Versacehottie Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 I disagree! I was in a year long distance relationship then finally moved out to live with my bf and now we are married. It will work if you both want it to. I think maybe she is busy. Does she have a stressful job? She could be out with friends etc... lots if reasons. When you’re not actually with the person its easy to get distracted. Why don’t you call more instead of text. Then you will know how her conversation is basically in person. Some people just hate texting. Or facetime her is even better. When I was long distance I wouldn’t text my bf alllllll day. We would chat maybe 1 time and then text a little throughout the day but she does have a life too. Sorry to derail, I have a question, Pink. Aren't you on the other thread, talking about trying to kiss someone? Are you married now or single now? Anyway for the OP, guessing that she disappears because the longer you text with innuendoes that aren't acted on, they lose their momentum. They are more exciting typically when they don't go on and on and then if you want some escalation or whatever, they also need to have some basis in what is going on in real life (off texting) between you two. Is that happening? Or do you just text?
BaileyB Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 she’s always happy to talk to me and stuff but she used to call and text way more, and would never drop out for the rest of the night at 5pm, so it is bothersome. I would think that she would have more time to talk/text in the evening. I'm not one to worry about texting at work, unless it's excessive. Sexting at work is another thing entirely... What does she do with her evenings? Is she at the gym? Out with friends? Has she perhaps, met someone else? How long have you been dating OP - how long before you went long distance?
BaileyB Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Is this why you are concerned? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/658860-girfriend-said-guy-came-over-gave-her-his-number 1
kendahke Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Is this why you are concerned? https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/658860-girfriend-said-guy-came-over-gave-her-his-number Good catch, Bailey OP, I think you know what's up but don't want to face it. That self-discipline thing... Like I said above: If the people involved in the LDR don't have the discipline to be in one, it's going to fall apart. That's just how things go sometimes. Not all relationships will be successful. .
Author rcrljmg07 Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 She usually does text me at night and call so I don’t know, that’s why it was weird, she keeps telling me she only loves me and has it for me bad, so idk what to think.
Adiron Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 Between this thread and your other one about how some guy gave her his number, you are clearly very insecure. No one here can possibly tell you what's going on in your girlfriends head when she takes another guys number and when she doesn't respond to your texts as fast as you like. She's far away, you have no way to know what she's up to every minute of the day, you can either trust her or not, wallow in your insecurities and let your mind create all sorts of scenarios. Or you can just suck it up and figure out a way to be comfortable with the situation.
kendahke Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 She usually does text me at night and call so I don’t know, that’s why it was weird, she keeps telling me she only loves me and has it for me bad, so idk what to think. Why do you have to think? You're going to sink yourself with your "what ifs" and "what abouts". Either she's trustworthy and you don't have to babysit her to make sure she doesn't wind up on the business end of some guy's penis or she isn't... and if she isn't, why are you with someone you can't trust? 1
Author rcrljmg07 Posted June 30, 2018 Author Posted June 30, 2018 I feel like I can trust her I guess I do have some worries, long distance is hard, and when you don’t see someone for awhile and they go mia for a bunch of hours I guess that just gets my mind running. She’s always told me loyalty and respect is important.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted June 30, 2018 Posted June 30, 2018 I've had a little experience w/this sort of thing and I have a very different perspective on this type of situation. I dated guy long distance for half a year. From the beginning he was terrible at texting, he would drop off from a convo and not answer until I texted a couple hours later. I had a ton of insecurities, but they were well placed as it turned out he wasn't interested in me. In a long distance, the small things matter, watch her behavior and if other things seem off, I would start to worry.
kendahke Posted July 1, 2018 Posted July 1, 2018 How much of this relationship has been conducted face to face/living in close proximity to one another?
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