met a girl online and...

[Venn]

I met somone online in the same city. Talked to her for about a month and a half and have met four times as well.

She says she's a homebody but due to the nature of her work, she's been into a lot of places and did seem to enjoy based on her pics. The first few weeks went okay though the conversations we had were mostly stimulating and informative, humurous at times. But I've had some pet peeves along the way as well.

 

I think she's pretty much an unmotivated girl. When her classmates call her for a meeting or when her adviser for her thesis sometimes she doesn't answer because she kept her phone silent. She pretty much did it to me too. When she does notice her phone having a call she does answer pretty quickly though. Maybe this is what happens only when she's not doing anything or maybe because of the situation that she is in right now. I thought she kinda did it on purpose but then after meeting with her once, I saw this to be true because she really doesn't check on it sometimes... and she has 2 cellphones.

 

Despite her having a relationship only after her masteral was finished, she somehow had a poor choice in choosing the guys that she likes. She had a 2nd boyfriend later on and only lasted for like a month due to how in conflict their belief in life was. She was pretty much a homebody and her boyfriend was a party goer. She didn't want to go meet up with him because everytime they wanted to meet, he said they would check in. Which would also mean they were going to have sex and she is a virgin. The guy cheated later on and she got relieved.

 

Also from the matches that she had, she's become naive and not sensing whether or not the guy is making advances on her like when they talk about sexual stuff and she thought it was just out of curiosity... so far I'm the only guy that hasn't done that.

 

In the first date so far I think It kinda went well I bought her a book that she really enjoyed. She enjoyed it too much that she doesn't even check her cellphone anymore. I don't know if this thing is going to end well but I have a small feeling that It won't.

 

What are your thoughts?

[d0nnivain]

You don't really get to have an opinion about the guys she dated in the past. Simply because they may have been bad choices, by dating you, don't you think her taste has improved?

 

If she is unmotivated that is on her. Yes you can decide you want to date somebody with higher drive & ambition but you can't make her change.

[act00]

You shouldn't judge her based on poor boyfriend choices. Sometimes there are mistakes and hopefully we learn from those mistakes. She is, after all, dating you now, isn't she, but based on your high judgement and incompatibility, maybe it's yet another poor decision on her part.

 

I don't see any problem with her not being attached to her phone and available at all times. I do see issue around missing important calls and not checking in more often when there are important matters, like the planned meetings. There's definitely room for improvement there, but she may never change her ways. This could be a problem. However, simply not being attached to the phone and not being available 24/7 is not a flaw. You two will probably fight a lot over this if she's impossible to reach. I don't know that this is something you can get her to change.

 

As far as "homebody" is concerned, there's nothing wrong with that. Hopefully she's not a total recluse and enjoys getting out from time to time, but being more introverted and not wishing to surround herself with people and activities all the time is not a flaw. It may be incompatibility between you two, but it's not a flaw.

[smackie9]

You are slagging this poor girl, and yet you still talk to her. Who's making the poor choice here? And why you getting yourself into a snit? You make it out like she's the one that is causing you grief and it's on purpose! ...this is on you...if there are things that could be a dealbreaker for you, then simply stop seeing her and meet someone else. Jeezz louis!

[JDJ]

What is all this petty gossip about her past boyfriends and cell phone habits?

Do you like her? Does she like you? Do you treat each other well?

Those are the important questions, not this trivial stuff. If that stuff is important to you at this stage, it means that you don't like her or find her attractive enough to move past the small stuff.