ANewBeginning Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I'm now a few months into dating this girl (with a few months before of us just chatting/ hanging out). We agreed to be exclusive, click and when we see each other, we're at it like rabbits and everything just flows with her. Thing is, between her shift work (nights particularly as a nurse), her renovating her new house and her family commitments, I only see her once a week and normally for a night or so. We had a chat before going exclusive that I wanted to see her more and she agreed but nothings eventuated. I am into being healthy and she wanted to jump on board but that hasn't eventuated either. I guess I've now hit a point where I've been thinking. I want more than just an evening with my girlfriend a week particularly if we're getting serious. Yet at the same time, I'm being mindful if I am just being needy. Am I? I guess I am needing guidance as I am new to this relationship thing. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 No, wanting to see her more then once a week isn't being demanding. People make time for what they want to make time for, she chooses not to. If this continues you are better off finding someone who will try a lot harder. I dated a guy who barely messaged me, after several talks, nothing changed. This was more complicated due to distance, but the whole thing fell apart. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeBeginsAt40 Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I'm now a few months into dating this girl (with a few months before of us just chatting/ hanging out). We agreed to be exclusive, click and when we see each other, we're at it like rabbits and everything just flows with her. Thing is, between her shift work (nights particularly as a nurse), her renovating her new house and her family commitments, I only see her once a week and normally for a night or so. We had a chat before going exclusive that I wanted to see her more and she agreed but nothings eventuated. I am into being healthy and she wanted to jump on board but that hasn't eventuated either. I guess I've now hit a point where I've been thinking. I want more than just an evening with my girlfriend a week particularly if we're getting serious. Yet at the same time, I'm being mindful if I am just being needy. Am I? I guess I am needing guidance as I am new to this relationship thing. Oh man are we on the same page. Same thing here - started dating a colleague (nurse) at work a couple of months ago after a couple of years of flirting. Her schedule is basically rammed - nights, weekend work, she's doing professional body exams at the moment. The next fortnight I might see her once if I am lucky... I am just back from hers as she has to go do another night shift, so we spent a few hours together this afternoon. We are squeezing in time tougher as much as we can. We just had the BF / GF chat and are now official as of a few hours ago. Thing is, I know I am not going to be seeing her a heck of a lot until her exams are done at the end of July. I also know now that this is a genuine thing, not her just not being into me. I am much more chilled, and I suggest you need to do the same. It is ****, but you will find that it ebbs and flows. The first month we were dating, we had three weekends together as she was on normal 8 - 8 day shifts through the week with the weekends off. Now she is in the shift pattern from hell. It comes with the territory I'm afraid. The key for me is seeing her at other times. Tonight I took her a nice breakfast as it allowed her to have a bit of a lie in without stressing about making something before work. A few days ago, I stayed behind after my shift (I work in the same hospital) and we went and had a coffee and a chat for half an hour. Not lots of time, but it means at least I see her a few times a week. Once her exams are done and she comes off nights then she has a lot of time off so we will hopefully make up for lost time then before she gets rota'd back onto a load of nights etc. If she is genuinely at work / busy then don't stress it. If she is like my new lady, she will have a month or so of hell and then a month or so of relative calm, day shifts etc. If she is always working nights, then that might be something you need to have a chat with her about - i.e. will this ever change! Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I'm now a few months into dating this girl (with a few months before of us just chatting/ hanging out). We agreed to be exclusive, click and when we see each other, we're at it like rabbits and everything just flows with her. Thing is, between her shift work (nights particularly as a nurse), her renovating her new house and her family commitments, I only see her once a week and normally for a night or so. We had a chat before going exclusive that I wanted to see her more and she agreed but nothings eventuated. I am into being healthy and she wanted to jump on board but that hasn't eventuated either. I guess I've now hit a point where I've been thinking. I want more than just an evening with my girlfriend a week particularly if we're getting serious. Yet at the same time, I'm being mindful if I am just being needy. Am I? I guess I am needing guidance as I am new to this relationship thing. What does that bit about being healthy mean? Can you help her with her house renovations? Might give you more time together. Or go with her on her "family obligations?" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 I don't think that's demanding. You're giving each other space and you're living your life without her always being by each other's side. That can be a good thing. But since you want to see her more than once a week, TELL HER you want to see her more than once a week, don't just assume. Communication is key to everything. Then see what she says. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 27, 2018 Share Posted May 27, 2018 personally I would love to have a girlfriend that I only had to see once a week, most of them want to see you 6x a week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 28, 2018 Share Posted May 28, 2018 Help renovate the house with her. if she has a family and is also remodeling, she doesn't have any time. So help her work on the house. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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