How do I express interest in anyone because apparently I’m not good at it?

[hannahl9811]

Within my last few weeks of this semester of college, I got to know a guy I have a crush on a little better. We’ve found that we’re very similar, and he definitely likes me, because mutual friends have told me so. However, he did mention that he struggles to believe I have feelings because I “act distant.” This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this from a guy I’ve truly had feelings for and I think it’s cost me time with guys I want to get to know.

 

My question is: how do I even show that I’m interested without coming across as desperate?

 

I want this guy to know that I really like him. But I’m very guarded because I don’t want to get hurt, honestly, and I also definitely don’t want to get rejected. I know this guy is genuinely nice and we’ve had a discussion about what he wants out of dating, and I don’t see him having bad intentions. But I am just so afraid that it’s costing me! Any advice would be appreciated

[PegNosePete]

Is your fear of rejection greater than your fear of missing out?

 

If not, ask him out.

 

If it is, ask your mutual friends to tell him that if he were to ask you out, you'd definitely say yes!

[act00]

Has anyone told you what you are doing that appears distant? If you know specifics, you can work on changing those things, and they don't have to be drastic, but enough that you don't come off as cold.

 

Dating is a risk. You won't get out of it unscathed. This can be said about all parts of life, jobs, coworkers, strangers...things happen and they're not always good and pleasant. You can't go through life not doing anything because it might hurt you somehow. Dating - some work, some don't. You can either continue on this path and never have an opportunity to even see if this guy is "the one," or you can let your defenses down and let him in. This guy has supposedly expressed his interest in you to other people who have subsequently shared with you, so I think rejection, at least immediately, is not going to happen, so dip your toes in that pool. Whether or not you continue dating...again...it's a risk. It hurts sometimes, but you'll be so better for it. You'll learn what you like. You'll learn what you don't like. You'll learn what is tolerable and what are deal-breakers. Most importantly, even if this relationship doesn't work, you got some snuggles, kisses, laughs, sex, experiences, and some good memories.

 

Start making some changes to the issues you can most easily work on and build on that as you boost your confidence...it would help to know what is making you appear distant, though, specifically.

[d0nnivain]

Sometimes coy doesn't work. Some men need you to spell it out. Be brave. Sit a little closer. Touch his arm. Smile. Say something flirty or suggestive.

 

There is a different between interested in desperate. Desperate is a sense that you are incomplete without a SO. Interested is a confident vibe that you are fun to be with & want a person you find attractive to have fun with.

 

Your college crush is on your level, growing & learning. You may have been doing everything right but he may not have been savvy enough to pick up on it.

[Lotsgoingon]

You will survive rejection ... Nobody on the planet has ever spontaneously exploded after a boy/girl said they didn't want to date them.

 

Ignore the anxiety that says "rejection" is such a big deal.

 

Send him a text and ask him what he's doing this weekend! ...(That's girl code for I'm interested in hanging out with you.) He'll likely make himself available, propose an idea ... get together ... and be enthusiastic ... or don't cover your enthusiasm ... and he will get the message eventually.

 

If he doesn't "get" the weekend message ... add a line ..."Be great to hang out some." ...

 

Send me a check for $10 after your success.

[preraph]

It's super easy. All you have to do is smile real big and act really happy to see him next time you see him. This makes you super approachable. Plus he knows you are happy to see him. Door wide open.