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Is my BF trying to make me jealous?!

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Old 17th May 2018, 8:03 PM   #1
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Is my BF trying to make me jealous?!

My BF and I have been dating for 7 months. He is 9 years older than me. He always says Iím prettier than he is handsome. If I tell him he is handsome he will say Iím blind. He told he he was really lonely before I came along so I know he wasnít a player or getting a lot of girls. Even though he says these things it seems like he tries to make me jealous. It hurts me and I have told him that but he does it a lot.

For example. He told me that this woman walks by his work from her job 4 times a week. He said she dresses seductive. He told me one day he was standing outside with his co-worker and she happened to walk by that day. She asked him if he had a girlfriend he said yes she said well are you married and he said No. she said then that means your single. Then he apprentally turned her down. He made it a point to also tell me she was attractive. When he told me this I felt like it sounded made up. Especially since this woman works at a bank not relatively close to his job and why is she walking by his work anyways. All in all I thought it was strange.

Last night he went out to his favorite bar. Itís local and all the same people hangout there and have for many years so he is well known. I was at a family get together. When I came to his house after he showed up tipsy. He told me the woman he used to have sex with right before us was there and she asked him if they were still friends in a pouty voice. I didnít even understand why he would tell me especially when she turned him down after ďdatingĒfor a month. I told him that it made me upset and then he goes on a long speech about how Iím the only one for him and that he wants to marry me. He says I donít want anyone else.

He always seems to have the stories about women who like him now that he has as girlfriend or try to flirt with him. I do not tell him when a man may flirt or suggest because I donít want him to get jealous since itís absolutely nothing and I always make sure I do not flirt back or lead a guy on. I try to spare his feelings plus itís not even a thought on my mind because I only care about my BF. I know he would be jealous if he thought a guy was hitting on me so why does he do this when he knows I have trust issues due to my past and I have told him it makes me uncomfortable.

If he is trying to make me jealous? itís immature but it makes me feel like he is up to something when he is coming up with these stories. He even brought the bank girl up again last night he said well if I was going to do anything it would have been with the woman from the bank but I turn her down so Iím commited. That statement was inconciderate in my opinion.

Any thoughts sorry for rambling on.
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Old 17th May 2018, 8:13 PM   #2
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I don't think this has anything to do with you. It has everything to do with him and his insecurities. Maybe he thinks by telling you these things you will continue to see want him, see that he is desirable, because it sounds like he doesn't think that he is.

In my experience on planet Earth, it's always the very insecure ones who have to tell you about every time someone from the opposite sex showed interest in them. One of my college roommates was like this, yet she never had a boyfriend.
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Old 18th May 2018, 7:42 AM   #3
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He's really insecure & telling you things so you reassure him that you like him. Also he thinks by sharing this info he's positioning himself as being more attractive / desirable.
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Old 18th May 2018, 8:08 AM   #4
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He's probably not intentionally trying to make you jealous. This seems like more of an insecurity issue and immature behavior with no defined boundaries. Maybe in some way, he wants you to know how desirable he is to other women, so that you feel the need to latch onto him tighter. Maybe it's in some way an ego boost to make you know how lucky you are that he chose you, but I think it's mostly him boasting about himself to make himself feel better. This obviously has an opposite effect, as it breeds jealousy and mistrust, and leaves you feeling second best, or there is a smorgasbord to choose from if you don't watch your P's and Q's.

Whatever is going on, you need to point out how inappropriate this discussion is, each and every time. When he brings up the hot chick with the boobs, or the old girlfriend or the stranger who hit on him, ask him, "Why do you feel the need to tell me this?" "Is there a point?" "It seems to me, you're paving the way that you'll leave in a heartbeat if something better comes along." "It's hurtful and disrespectful to flirt with other women."

He may need it pointed out that there are some things we openly discuss and some things we just don't.
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Old 18th May 2018, 11:58 AM   #5
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Two things may be at work. One, maybe his confidence has had a boost since he's dating you, who he considers more attractive than himself. So maybe he's exuding more confidence, which in turn does make him more attractive to others, or he's being more bold because he can talk to a woman but then tell her "I'm taken" and not have to risk rejection.

Or he may feel so insecure because he thinks you're more attractive that he says things to convince you that he is desired by others because he doesn't want you to view him as a loser lucky to have you.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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