Flaky - uncertrain or player?

[Carlotte]

Hi All,

 

 

I met a guy online. We've been talking for a while, he asked me out but I had to cancel the day before. For two weeks he went silent so I figured he lost interest. After that he offered a meeting again but then were busy and we couldn't find any suitable time for both of us. I also was upset that he stopped contacting me for so long. After a while we managed to meet and it was very nice. He was a bit shy and awkward but I am too so it worked well. At the end of the meeting he said we should meet again and wrote me to say thanks the meeting. The next day he asked me out but that day my friends were visiting me and after that I was going to my hometown for a week so I couldn't meet him. Then he... went silent for 2 weeks AGAIN and wrote me recently and asked if I could give him my facebook details as he wants to delete his profile on the dating website but he likes me so wants to keep in touch. I don't know what to think. Could he be uncertain if I like him or does he consider me as a friend or he is just looking for something casual? I don't know if I should even respond to his message... What is your opinion?

[d0nnivain]

My opinion is that you have to stop turning this poor guy down. He gets his courage up. You shoot him down. Then he runs away with his tail between his legs because he's hurt, disappointed & embarrassed. For some reason you completely overlook how awful this is for him.

 

If you want to go on a date with him, give the poor guy some reassurance. Reach out. You ask him for the date & you pay. Problem solved. It will go a long way toward smoothing his ruffled feathers.

[Zahara]

The next time you can’t accept a date, offer him an alternative and you make the plans. There’s no reason why you can’t take the lead. Don’t just shoot him down and not offer any suggestions. I can see why he retreats after every decline.