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Is He Genuine? (Questions for Guys)


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Old 8th March 2018, 12:00 AM   #1
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Is He Genuine? (Questions for Guys)

Hi guys,
I need some help with this guy I've been talking to. I met him online. During our first phone conversation, he was super open and told me a lot about his life experiences. I think he is probably looking for hooks ups online since most people are. Also some of his pictures are a little sexual so I'm guessing he is open to hook ups.

While talking to me, he told me he doesn't want to hook up, wants to talk and is interested in me. After our first phone conversation, he said he'd call back that day but never did. Today we talked again. After a few minutes, he said he had to go and that he would call back. Once again, he didn't call. He is traveling tomorrow and might be busy preparing for his trip but I still find this a little weird. This is the second time he's claimed he would call back but didn't. My gut says to be careful. Guys (specifically guys/men), do you know why he might be doing this? Just curious to know.
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:09 AM   #2
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No he isn't genuine. Forgetting phone calls might seem small and insignificant, but those actions aren't. You didn't forget he would call did you? See if he was interested he would keep his word. Going from experience, I dated a guy who forgot to call me on certain occasions, he wasn't committed or really that interested in me.

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Old 8th March 2018, 2:13 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by LoverOfDance View Post
Hi guys,
I need some help with this guy I've been talking to. I met him online. During our first phone conversation, he was super open and told me a lot about his life experiences. I think he is probably looking for hooks ups online since most people are. Also some of his pictures are a little sexual so I'm guessing he is open to hook ups.

While talking to me, he told me he doesn't want to hook up, wants to talk and is interested in me. After our first phone conversation, he said he'd call back that day but never did. Today we talked again. After a few minutes, he said he had to go and that he would call back. Once again, he didn't call. He is traveling tomorrow and might be busy preparing for his trip but I still find this a little weird. This is the second time he's claimed he would call back but didn't. My gut says to be careful. Guys (specifically guys/men), do you know why he might be doing this? Just curious to know.
It's hard to know his intentions off such little information. Not that its your fault, you probably don't know much about him.

Why would you want to waste time waiting around on this guy when he is already breaking his word so early on? He could at least text you and let you know he won't be able to call today so you are sitting around waiting. I would delete and move on, but that's me.
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:32 AM   #4
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Yeah, not genuine.

Unless there was an emergency or something (which doesn't seem to be the case here), if I told a girl I liked that I'd call or text at a certain time, then that's what I'd do.
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Old 8th March 2018, 4:10 AM   #5
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Actions are more important than words. I'll summarise to make this easier for you.

Words: Says he isn't looking to hook up
Actions: Repeatedly doesn't bother calling you when he said he would

Now, what does that tell you about his level of respect/interest?
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Old 8th March 2018, 5:56 AM   #6
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Your gut is right.

Be careful. If I was really interested in a woman, I would do anything possible to stay true to my word, especially early on when making a first impression.
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Old 8th March 2018, 7:59 AM   #7
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1. He’s not actually asking you out on a date
2. He doesn’t follow through with what he says he’s going to do
2. He’s “traveling”

Next!
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Old 8th March 2018, 8:13 AM   #8
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I'm a guy and I ll give you my opinion. If hes breaking promises now. What is he going to be like further down the road.


Saying they will call someone and then lead up to is is not just a lie but a disappointment after doing this not just once but twice!


I have some guy friends who do this. They call it "playing the game". Their game is to make you think and wonder what youre up to when you don't follow up what you say youre going to do.


As you can see its worked. Youre on a forum asking the very question whats hes not followed up on. Playing the game works on some people but not all. Some people will give up as they cant be bothered with the game. Some hang on and it plays havoc on their self esteem.


I`d call him out on his game. I deteste people who waste my time saying they will call or message me when they will. Ok, once is fine. We all forget or we`re busy. Give it time and keep speaking to see him to see what he`s all about.


The best question to ask and when your face to face is to look him in the eye and ask "What is it youre looking for"? Guage his reactions when he answer and you can tell the chancers and the sex pests. Trust your gut.
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:02 AM   #9
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What do YOU want? If it's an occasional hook up, he might be worth the effort. If it's a LTR, he's already shown himself to be undependable and kind of thoughtless about you. Proceed with caution.
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Old 8th March 2018, 10:04 AM   #10
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He's shown that he cannot be relied on to keep his word. Whether it's forgetfulness or something more sinister he is unreliable. You can do better.
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Old 8th March 2018, 11:32 AM   #11
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I guess I have to understand the context better. If I said, "Hey, I have to take care of something...I'll give you a call later." I might mean I'll call you later tonight or tomorrow. If I said, "Hey, I need to take care of something real quick, I'll call you back in ten or twenty minutes." It means I will call you back in ten or twenty minutes or text you an explanation of why I can't.

So if it's the latter, it doesn't mean he'd looking for a hook-up. It just means he doesn't care that much. If it's the former, then it may be a miscommunication problem, which is super easy to have happen early on.

Last year, I had my first or second overnight with a women I ended up dating for about a year. In the morning, I had to go to the office but told her to take her time because she didn't work until the afternoon. When I woke, I was super quiet and kept the lights off so she could sleep. She woke and told me that I could turn on the lights and I responded, "Don't worry about it."

In my mind, that meant, "I'm good...go back to sleep, sweetie." I actually enjoyed the thought of her sleeping in my bed while I was at work.

In her mind it meant, "You suck and I'm angry at you for some reason."

Communication goes both ways. Figure out which one he meant.
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Old 8th March 2018, 1:12 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by LoverOfDance View Post
Hi guys,
I need some help with this guy I've been talking to. I met him online. During our first phone conversation, he was super open and told me a lot about his life experiences. I think he is probably looking for hooks ups online since most people are. Also some of his pictures are a little sexual so I'm guessing he is open to hook ups.

While talking to me, he told me he doesn't want to hook up, wants to talk and is interested in me. After our first phone conversation, he said he'd call back that day but never did. Today we talked again. After a few minutes, he said he had to go and that he would call back. Once again, he didn't call. He is traveling tomorrow and might be busy preparing for his trip but I still find this a little weird. This is the second time he's claimed he would call back but didn't. My gut says to be careful. Guys (specifically guys/men), do you know why he might be doing this? Just curious to know.
Time waster....that's what he is, and what he's going to do....waste your time. There isn't a serious man that would post pics like that on his profile.
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Old 8th March 2018, 2:08 PM   #13
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Hah I don't need to be a guy to see he's telling you what you want to hear, pull back and see if you are hooked, and if you were, he would proceed to manipulate you. Player material.
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Old 8th March 2018, 6:06 PM   #14
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Thanks for all the responses guys.

He didn't lie about traveling, thankfully. He asked me to come along with him but I thought maybe we might be moving too quick. I also don't have a lot of money so I wouldn't be able to pay for myself on the trip.

Maybe he's not too sure of what he wants. I'll wait until he gets back next month and then ask to meet up. Maybe i'll understand his intentions better if i'm able to talk to him face to face.
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Old 8th March 2018, 6:25 PM   #15
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Thanks for all the responses guys.

He didn't lie about traveling, thankfully. He asked me to come along with him but I thought maybe we might be moving too quick. I also don't have a lot of money so I wouldn't be able to pay for myself on the trip.

Maybe he's not too sure of what he wants. I'll wait until he gets back next month and then ask to meet up. Maybe i'll understand his intentions better if i'm able to talk to him face to face.
Don't text him first and take note of how often he reaches out to you. It'll tell you all you need to know.
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