Is she interested or just teasing?

March 3, 2018

There's this girl in my college class that I met a few months ago. Last semester, we did a group project where she showed signs of interest, but later when I asked her out, she sort of "soft-rejected" me(?) (FWIW, I posted about that interaction here:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/648087-she-interested )

So fast forward two months later, I meet her again in another class. As chance would have it, we needed to do a group project yet again...As we split into groups, her friend asks her if she's found one, and she tells her that she's in a group with me, and that "we're a couple". A few seconds later, she playfully slaps me and says "just kidding". Later when I asked her how much the textbook for class was, she told me that I didn't need to buy one (alluding that we can share) but later changed course and said I should still buy one since we'll be using it a lot. Another mixed signal, I guess.

I should also point out that she makes it obvious that she's a homebody, because whenever I ask her what she does on weekends or after school, she claims to do nothing but stay home. And when she does go out, it's apparently once in a few days lol. Not sure if this means anything... my friend called me an "idiot" and insists that she's giving me the green light to ask her out, but, she really IS lazy, so.... I don't know?

One last thing, (and I don't mean to brag) but I finished almost all my courses as the top student in our department for two years straight. So I wonder if she's really interested in me, teasing me, or just using me because she knows that I'll get a good grade for us if we're in the same group. I can't tell, so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks everybody in advance

March 3, 2018

Anyone????

March 3, 2018

Sorry but my feeling is that she is not interested. You asked her in the previous semester “do you want to go to your favourite restaurant with me some time” and she basically said “no” and changed the subject and put herself to bed (along with the conversation). That seems very clear to me. If she does make any flirty comments I would say that is just her being friendly. the ball is in her court if her interest level has changed. Either way, I think you should either remain friends/peers if that is what you want, or move on. Don’t hang on waiting and hoping because I really can’t see any signals from what you have posted.

Also congrats on your amazing academic record!!

March 3, 2018

I'm afraid I think she's just a teasing type person. I am surprised she stays home a lot because she seems pretty gregarious, what with the teasing and all. So I admit she's hard for me to figure out, but you already asked her out and she declined, so the ball is in her court and I'd forget about her unless she asked you out. That "we're a couple" comment might have been a private joke between her and her friend, I'm sad to say. But if she does have any desire to date you, you asked and she said no, so don't go get rejected again. She's outgoing enough that if she wants to get you to do something with her, she certainly will be outgoing enough to ask something like "Hey, what about that dinner?"

March 5, 2018

Update: So today I saved her a seat in class, and when she walked in with her friend, she sort of gave me a look and walked straight past me, completely ignoring the seat I saved for her. Then when it was time to split into groups for another project, she does not look for me, and instead found 5-6 girls that she sat around. So, after class, instead of speaking to her, I left with my friend since I figured she probably didn't want to talk to me or whatever.

So my question is, being that I did not see/talk to her since our last encounter, is it possible that I did something wrong to merit this? I'm so confused, please help!

March 5, 2018

Update: So today I saved her a seat in class, and when she walked in with her friend, she sort of gave me a look and walked straight past me, completely ignoring the seat I saved for her. Then when it was time to split into groups for another project, she does not look for me, and instead found 5-6 girls that she sat around. So, after class, instead of speaking to her, I left with my friend since I figured she probably didn't want to talk to me or whatever.

So my question is, being that I did not see/talk to her since our last encounter, is it possible that I did something wrong to merit this? I'm so confused, please help!

The only thing you're doing wrong is thinking that she may have some romantic interest. To be honest, I can't even see any teasing in what she's doing. Unless she *asked* you to save her a seat???

You're a friendly enough guy in her cohort. Someone who she can team up with if it works. But there are many other people in her cohort to team with too and this is OK.

March 5, 2018

Appears that she might just be a tease. She knows already that you'd do something with her outside of class and she basically shot you down. Maybe she likes attention and wants to be chased or you're just too into her and she's not really attracted to you that way. I could see her maybe wanting to use you for class since you sound like a good student and you said she's lazy. Make sure whatever happens that you don't get used.

March 5, 2018

She is not into you.

March 5, 2018

She's teasing because she feel you and her are friends, and nothing more. Thus she feels she can interact with you in that way, but at other times she remembers you might be into her and then behaves weirdly.

Either way I don't see this going anywhere, you're probably just going to be friends with her. But don't see that as a bad thing if you genuinely enjoy her company.

March 5, 2018

Attraction, sometimes flirting, are some of our daily pleasures in work (avoid flirting at work), in school, shopping...it's fun. It doesn't mean there's anything there. It doesn't mean you're compatible, or if either of you want to date each other for real...it's more a fantasy. It's hard when you want one thing but he/she doesn't...or you're not sure. Who knows if she's migrating towards you because you're smart and it will help her grade.

She seems attracted, but maybe not in "that way." She knows you're interested (or were) because you asked her out once, and her behavior meeting with a different group and not sitting with you could have been her realizing she flirted too much, or you exhibited signs that you are still really interested...she's did a 180; tone it down. She doesn't want to lead you on. Maybe she met another guy and she's stopping one "thing" to pursue the other...who knows.

I don't think she's really into you, though that's not to say there isn't an attraction. I say just enjoy the ride. The ball is in her court at this point, and while she may not ask you out directly, she can certainly make gestures and words to point you in the direction of asking HER out, like, "Sometime we should stop and get coffee after class," or something of that nature. Just enjoy your crush but don't let it consume you...seek women who are genuinely interested. She's just someone fun to be around and something to look forward to in the drudgery of academics.

Edited March 9, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs

March 5, 2018

[...]
So fast forward two months later, I meet her again in another class. As chance would have it, we needed to do a group project yet again...As we split into groups, her friend asks her if she's found one, and she tells her that she's in a group with me, and that "we're a couple". A few seconds later, she playfully slaps me and says "just kidding". Later when I asked her how much the textbook for class was, she told me that I didn't need to buy one (alluding that we can share) but later changed course and said I should still buy one since we'll be using it a lot. Another mixed signal, I guess.

That is not a mixed signal, you are being used. As a reliable source of math homework during my high school years I would have to say that this is almost a classic.

Please move on and find somebody who is worth your attention.

March 5, 2018

She's not interested...she's not lazy, she just doesn't want to go into detail that she DOES go out and date and all that. She's blocking your advances....leaver her be.

March 6, 2018

Sorry but my feeling is that she is not interested. You asked her in the previous semester “do you want to go to your favourite restaurant with me some time” and she basically said “no” and changed the subject and put herself to bed (along with the conversation). That seems very clear to me. If she does make any flirty comments I would say that is just her being friendly. the ball is in her court if her interest level has changed. Either way, I think you should either remain friends/peers if that is what you want, or move on. Don’t hang on waiting and hoping because I really can’t see any signals from what you have posted.

Also congrats on your amazing academic record!!

Thank you! And yeah, I'll definitely put off any hopes I had and just see if a friendship is possible now.

March 6, 2018

I'm afraid I think she's just a teasing type person. I am surprised she stays home a lot because she seems pretty gregarious, what with the teasing and all. So I admit she's hard for me to figure out, but you already asked her out and she declined, so the ball is in her court and I'd forget about her unless she asked you out. That "we're a couple" comment might have been a private joke between her and her friend, I'm sad to say. But if she does have any desire to date you, you asked and she said no, so don't go get rejected again. She's outgoing enough that if she wants to get you to do something with her, she certainly will be outgoing enough to ask something like "Hey, what about that dinner?"

You hit the nail right on the head. I don't buy that she's such a homebody as she claims to be either, so in that regard, she seems to know what she's doing really well, whatever's going on in her head.

But I do have a question though, is there a chance that she's making herself appear free and open in order for me to ask her out again? Just wondering:eek:

March 6, 2018

Appears that she might just be a tease. She knows already that you'd do something with her outside of class and she basically shot you down. Maybe she likes attention and wants to be chased or you're just too into her and she's not really attracted to you that way. I could see her maybe wanting to use you for class since you sound like a good student and you said she's lazy. Make sure whatever happens that you don't get used.

Thanks, yeah I'll definitely watch out in terms of being used. I showed my cards and and she knows what's going on in my head, making it easier to string me along

March 6, 2018

Attraction, sometimes flirting, are some of our daily pleasures in work (avoid flirting at work), in school, shopping...it's fun. It doesn't mean there's anything there. It doesn't mean you're compatible, or if either of you want to date each other for real...it's more a fantasy. It's hard when you want one thing but he/she doesn't...or you're not sure. Who knows if she's migrating towards you because you're smart and it will help her grade. She seems attracted, but maybe not in "that way." She knows you're interested (or were) because you asked her out once, and her behavior meeting with a different group and not sitting with you could have been her realizing she flirted too much, or you exhibited signs that you are still really interested...she's did a 180; tone it down. She doesn't want to lead you on. Maybe she met another guy and she's stopping one "thing" to pursue the other...who knows. I don't think she's really into you, though that's not to say there isn't an attraction. I say just enjoy the ride. The ball is in her court at this point, and while she may not ask you out directly, she can certainly make gestures and words to point you in the direction of asking HER out, like, "Sometime we should stop and get coffee after class," or something of that nature. Just enjoy your crush but don't let it consume you...seek women who are genuinely interested. She's just someone fun to be around and something to look forward to in the drudgery of academics.

Thank you for the reply. I will look out for signs and gestures that she might make, as you alluded to, but I won't get my hopes up for that. And yeah, I'll definitely take your advice and enjoy her company, since she's fun to be around since we have a lot to talk about plus the fact that we're both a little awkward in our own ways. Thank you and I appreciate your reply.

March 6, 2018

That is not a mixed signal, you are being used. As a reliable source of math homework during my high school years I would have to say that this is almost a classic.

Please move on and find somebody who is worth your attention.

Yup, I had a sneaking suspicion that I am being used by her. Thanks for your input. However, wouldn't it make sense for her to team up with me again, instead of ignoring the seat I saved for her and not acknowledging me as we looked for groups for our next project? It seems like she'd rather team with her group of girlfriends now after this whole fiasco, which makes me wonder if using me to get a good grade is her motive anymore.

March 6, 2018

Update: So having taken everyone's advice here, I decided to ignore her since the ball is in her court now. However, I walked in class today and soon after, I see her looking for me across the lecture hall. Once we made eye contact, she just stared at me with this look of innocence for a while until I just waved at her, to which she flashed a genuine smile at me. I also caught her best friend looking at me multiple times. What the heck is going on with her?

March 6, 2018

Update: So having taken everyone's advice here, I decided to ignore her since the ball is in her court now. However, I walked in class today and soon after, I see her looking for me across the lecture hall. Once we made eye contact, she just stared at me with this look of innocence for a while until I just waved at her, to which she flashed a genuine smile at me. I also caught her best friend looking at me multiple times. What the heck is going on with her?

I think you reading way too much into her actions. You are concocting entire stories around small things like an off-handed remark she makes or walking with her friends. She sounds like a goof ball. I don't get why you're interested in her. She must be attractive. However, a person's physical appearance tells you next to nothing about their personality. Either way, she rejected your advance so you are just fooling yourself if you keep reading into all these non-signals she is giving you. I would recommend to focus on your studies and don't do her work for her. Nice job on your academics!

Edited March 6, 2018 by TheFinalWord

March 6, 2018

Update: So having taken everyone's advice here, I decided to ignore her since the ball is in her court now. However, I walked in class today and soon after, I see her looking for me across the lecture hall. Once we made eye contact, she just stared at me with this look of innocence for a while until I just waved at her, to which she flashed a genuine smile at me. I also caught her best friend looking at me multiple times. What the heck is going on with her?

What's going on with her? She sees herself as your friend and someone who makes a good study partner. This is all. Being a friend means that she will also share herself around with other friends too.

Ignoring any person in your class is really poor form. Great marks are terrific, but showing yourself as a team player both at Uni and at work is essential.

Edited March 6, 2018 by basil67

March 9, 2018

Alright, so I think I'm about as confused as I've been in my life after what transpired in class today. She comes into class with her entourage group of girlfriends, and she had the worst look on her face I've seen, almost like she dreaded seeing me again. Some have suggested that I read way into her actions, so in an attempt to fix that, I didn't stress about it one bit. I sat by myself and was chatting with my friend, until she and her entourage call me over and asked if I wanted to sit with them. It might've been a requirement that we sit with our group members so that we can work together...who knows. Anyway, so I sit with them, and this is where things get interesting.

I started chatting up with a girl in her entourage who sat beside me, though she was the one to initiate all dialogue. We talked and laughed, and pretty soon, all the girls chimed in except her, and she just kept turning around and looking at me with this weird look right in front of me. Again, not thinking too much of it. Pretty soon, class is over and she didn't say a single word, almost like she felt left out. I didn't know how to include her, I just smiled whenever she kept turning around to look at me. Feeling bad, I just made short dialogue with her, like reminding her about an assignment due next week. Because her name wasn't called during attendance, I even politely offered to let the teacher know she was here, but she declined and kept on stroking my arm on her way out. I know I should not be looking too much into this, but I just can't help but to wonder here...what she's trying to do here, what with all the disgusted looks, to the hard stares and eventually the touching.

March 9, 2018

You're young, in school and anyone female is fair game. Way too early in life for carefully fondling the eggs in one basket. Don't entertain the group. Ask other young ladies out on dates. If one of the group strikes your fancy, ask her.

Tip: Young ladies who like you in the way a woman likes a man for mating say 'yes' to date requests. A woman's proclivities are many-faceted and nuanced and this kind of stuff is like a cat playing with a mouse to them. You're playing checkers and they're playing chess.

If you want to see some truth, watch for her reaction when another attractive young lady is on your arm. If she's a 'friend' she'll definitely high five you for your dating success because, well, what true friend wouldn't, right?

The interested ones will be looking to split the sheets with their man and strong-arm any potential interlopers. Women are territorial about men they're really into. Not seeing that here.

March 9, 2018

Alright, so I think I'm about as confused as I've been in my life after what transpired in class today. She comes into class with her entourage group of girlfriends, and she had the worst look on her face I've seen, almost like she dreaded seeing me again. Some have suggested that I read way into her actions, so in an attempt to fix that, I didn't stress about it one bit. I sat by myself and was chatting with my friend, until she and her entourage call me over and asked if I wanted to sit with them. It might've been a requirement that we sit with our group members so that we can work together...who knows. Anyway, so I sit with them, and this is where things get interesting.

I started chatting up with a girl in her entourage who sat beside me, though she was the one to initiate all dialogue. We talked and laughed, and pretty soon, all the girls chimed in except her, and she just kept turning around and looking at me with this weird look right in front of me. Again, not thinking too much of it. Pretty soon, class is over and she didn't say a single word, almost like she felt left out. I didn't know how to include her, I just smiled whenever she kept turning around to look at me. Feeling bad, I just made short dialogue with her, like reminding her about an assignment due next week. Because her name wasn't called during attendance, I even politely offered to let the teacher know she was here, but she declined and kept on stroking my arm on her way out. I know I should not be looking too much into this, but I just can't help but to wonder here...what she's trying to do here, what with all the disgusted looks, to the hard stares and eventually the touching.

Omg, it doesn't matter. She rejected you, clearly! Move on! Find the next one! Surely her sour face for the entire class would be enough to push you along.

March 9, 2018

.

But I do have a question though, is there a chance that she's making herself appear free and open in order for me to ask her out again? Just wondering:eek:

No, no chance.

Forget it and move on.

March 9, 2018

Don't know what her modis operandi is, but I do know this. She isn't shy. She knows how to talk. She knows you asked her out and she rejected you, and she's perfectly capable of bringing that up if she has changed her mind. I mean, think how many opportunities there have been for her to even casually say "Are you going to the game (dance, McDonald's, movie) and open the subject.

Again, don't know what she's up to. I have an old friend who, regardless at all of whether she was interested in someone just HAD to get all the attention in a room to prove something to herself I guess. But again, you asked, she said no, she can talk, she has plenty of opportunity to open the subject and ask if you're going to something if she wants to revisit asking her out. The ball is in her court.

You need to be focusing on someone easier to understand, my friend. One of the other many lovely girls at your school and ask them out instead.

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Is she interested or just teasing?

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