hollyday Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I met a man on OKCupid. Text for a couple days, then spoke on the phone and I agreed to meet for a drink. He's a really cool guy, tall and cute. Date went well, he kissed goodbye at the end of the night. There's just one thing I can't get over, his shoes. I know it sounds silly that I'm so hung up on a pair sneakers, but I just can't help but to judge him a certain way. Jordan's just seem so juvenile. I may have been fine with this in high school, but I'm 32 and he's 34. Why is this pair of shoes bothering me so much? Link to post Share on other sites
Be_Strong Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 First, which Jordan’s? Second, juveniles can’t afford the steep cost of Jordan’s so mid-30’s male is just about the target market. To each their own, but I think it’s cool and wouldn’t be bothered by it unless it wasn’t appropriate for the setting like a date to a fancy restaurant where everyone should be wearing business/business casual attire. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Yes, sneakers aren’t appropriate for a first date. First dates are like job interviews. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hollyday Posted March 1, 2018 Author Share Posted March 1, 2018 First, which Jordan’s? Second, juveniles can’t afford the steep cost of Jordan’s so mid-30’s male is just about the target market. To each their own, but I think it’s cool and wouldn’t be bothered by it unless it wasn’t appropriate for the setting like a date to a fancy restaurant where everyone should be wearing business/business casual attire. I don't know which or why that's important? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Shoes as long as they are clean and not all ripped up shouldn't matter, but I'm a guy.. I don't think it is appropriate to wear T-shoes to venues that something dressier is required though.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I don't think it should matter but I know people are put off by very different things! Are you thinking of not seeing him again because of this? At this point, I'd say you aren't that into him and this is an excuse. But, it's only been 1 date. If you're open to seeing him again, you might like him enough to see past the footwear. Personally, I don't see them as juvenile. I have friends in late 20s (29) who wears similar shoes. His gf isn't over the moon about it but still gets them as gifts for Xmas/ birthdays because he likes them. I'm sure he isn't a fan of some of the things she wears either. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I'm only slightly younger than you, and the SO and I both wear sneakers most of the time, unless we're going to dressy venues. Each to their own though. If it bothers you, chances are you didn't really like him anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I don't wear Air Jordans, but I do have expensive athletic shoes because I run. But I would never wear them to a date. That being said, I don't think I ever worried much about my date's shoes. (I know some guys do.) I wonder if it was the overall image that got to the OP. I know guys who go for that "forced youthful" look, wearing brands aimed at the teenage crowd, and it can look really odd. I saw an example at a restaurant last night. The dad was wearing some garish Hollister shirt, and jeans that no guy should wear. His son was actually dressed rather tastefully. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I actually think that look is really cute and if you know street fashion and certain other fashion it is very in, for sure. Some guys have whole collections that they match to their outfits (and i won't even go into guys who have whole collections that they COLLECT but don't wear). I don't think the guy should hide who he is to wear some shoes that seem not like himself to win you over. Maybe the wearing of these just show that you guys don't match up. I actually can't think of many places where i live that if the rest of the outfit showed style where the Air Jordans would't be acceptable & stylish. I mostly think it shows he identifies with street style (hip hop, rappers & some celebrities, athletes) because that is how they dress--so maybe a guy who is into that isn't for you? Fair enough. If you otherwise like him, I say go out one more time. But I do honestly believe that shoes say a ton about people--maybe you just don't like what his are saying about him! Not a bad thing, just not for you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Is it the BRAND of sneakers that is offputting to you? You seem to stress that they are Jordans. Or just that they were sneakers. A lot of people wear sneakers everywhere. IMHO, if it's a fancy place, like some people said, then sneakers aren't appropriate. Otherwise, I don't see the problem. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 If you have no other problems... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 It's a compatibility issue. I get that they are expensive sneakers but I'd be put off by a guy who wore sneakers on a 1st date with me too, especially if I was all dressed up coming from work. His choice of dress is entirely up to him but if you don't like it, don't date him. Do not try to change him. Just move along. The next person he goes out with may be thrilled that he's so laid back & chill. She may very well be offended if he wore oxfords or loafers because she would think that made him uptight & stuffy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Oh, collectable sneakers is a thing. Some of these cost thousands of dollars, it's crazy! And there is definitely a scene where being into the shoes is part of it. Maybe it's because I am in the bay area, maybe it's because I live in Japantown (hipsters), but you will see successful, stylish men wearing sneakers. Think Yeezys - Kanye West sneakers that sell for hundreds. They are ugly in my opinion, super expensive, but guys around here wear them because they are trendy. I'll agree that it's a "youthful" look for a 30 something, but not at all unusual here. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I always look at the shoes as part of my assessment when I check guys out. I get it, first impressions count, but was it a casual date? That's probably why he wore them. If it's a dealbreaker, it's a dealbreaker. He loves his Jordans and it wouldn't be the last time you will see him wearing them. There are guys that have actual collections and won't wear anything else. Me I hate Jordans...too gangsta. I love Vans. I wouldn't mind a guy in a suit wearing Vans. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 you all should be down here by the border.... We are talking yellow ostrich cowboy boots or gold metal black loafers with huge tassels on them. Lol. Jordans...I think the earlier posters said rings true. Waaay to expensive for the ramen noodle college type. You have to have paychecks to afford those bad boys.. lol Also, doesn't some of those silicon valley types where garrish sneakers with jeans and a dress shirt and tie? I see it all the time on cspan interviews and such.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Be_Strong Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I don't know which or why that's important? I asked which ones because there are some that are fashionable street shoes and others that probably shouldn’t leave the gym. Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 I always look at the shoes as part of my assessment when I check guys out. I get it, first impressions count, but was it a casual date? That's probably why he wore them. If it's a dealbreaker, it's a dealbreaker. He loves his Jordans and it wouldn't be the last time you will see him wearing them. There are guys that have actual collections and won't wear anything else. Me I hate Jordans...too gangsta. I love Vans. I wouldn't mind a guy in a suit wearing Vans. Ha! My boyfriend wore boots for our first date and Vans for the second! I know this only now because he only has 4 pair of shoes and I took pictures of him on our dates. I couldn't have cared less on our actual date what kind of shoes he was wearing - my eyes were only pointed at his eyes! I was crazy about him and who he was as a person! Who gives a fudge about shoes? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 To me it speaks volumes. What people wear on their feet, is an expression of their personality and taste. Now if my date showed up with ratty runners that you wear to cut the lawn with...that says things to me, him as a person. Me and my husband were a match, we both wear Vans lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 Why is this pair of shoes bothering me so much? I've rejected many a woman based upon their choice of footwear. It tells a lot about someone. Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted March 1, 2018 Share Posted March 1, 2018 In my experience they don't say too much. They are more a reflection of the occasion, unless the wearer chose something unsuitable. Most of my early dates involved some amount of walking, and the women wore comfortable shoes, which makes perfect sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 (edited) Haha I think it is kinda cool. Took me straight back to 1993. He probably thinks they’re stunning and super cool, therefore date worthy. They’re his good sneakers for spesh occasions? What was the venue type and time and day? Edited March 2, 2018 by smiley1 Link to post Share on other sites
staggerlee71 Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 While Jordans wouldn't be my choice on a first date, I think you will have a very difficult time finding a guy you like if shoes are a deal breaker on the first date. while shoes can say something about a person, its a lousy criteria to think you know what you need to before cutting it off. you do realize there will be plenty more not to like about this guy if you actually get into a relationship. loosen up a bit, stop making snap judgement calls, go on a second date, and find out if his morals and values are a deal breaker Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 Women look at the tiniest of details because that is how our brains work. Everything from their hairline, to eye contact. It's how we assess attraction. For me it's shoes, posture (how they carry themselves), the sound of their voice, and of course their ass lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 If you have no other problems... Then I doubt he won't have an issue with another woman snatching him up. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 2, 2018 Share Posted March 2, 2018 Women look at the tiniest of details because that is how our brains work. Everything from their hairline, to eye contact. It's how we assess attraction. For me it's shoes, posture (how they carry themselves), the sound of their voice, and of course their ass lol. haha you're funny smackie, but correct 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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