Extreme ghosting

[Berteau]

So I went out twice with this girl and she showed more interest than any girl I've been out with, then all of the sudden disappeared, and I can't figure out why. She was asking me out at the end of dates, wanting to see me again, texting me every day, etc.

 

She seemed very needy, so all I can think of is she was on the rebound or something and I hit all the check boxes for her (I'm a catch), but then had to accept that we weren't right for each other. She didn't have time to really see anyone else in those 3 days because her family came to town for the weekend.

 

Here are texts from her 3 days before disappearing and after the second date.

 

"When do I get to see you again."

 

"Hope to see you again on Sunday".(She invited me to her place to cook for me and this is the date she ghosted). "I'd love to have a night in with you."

 

"I wish I was hanging out with you."

Edited February 25, 2018 by Berteau

[Cookiesandough]

Meet her online? People mess around on there, are fickle etc. No saying what happened.

[Berteau]

Meet her online? People mess around on there, are fickle etc. No saying what happened.

 

Yes. I know. But I can't wrap my head around the reasons behind such an extreme case of ghosting.

[Redguitar35]

Some of the best sex I've had occurred with women who flaked the first time we were supposed to get together. I dunno, maybe I made them nervous, and they got cold feet.

 

If someone ghosts or flakes once, I'll give them one more chance, but only if they make a big effort and take the initiative to reach out to me again (I don't make the effort to contact them again after that first time, THEY have to contact ME). If it happens twice, I totally block their number.

[Popsicle]

She may be married...

[Versacehottie]

You are only telling half of the story....what did you reply to those texts?

[Cookiesandough]

You are only telling half of the story....what did you reply to those texts?

 

it'd be funny if he didn't reply to any of those texts

[Berteau]

You are only telling half of the story....what did you reply to those texts?

 

Replies you would expect. I look forward to seeing you also, etc.... Nothing that would turn her off.

[Maggie4]

How long has she been missing?

[spiderowl]

It does seem a bit odd, following those texts. Maybe something cropped up, some family thing. Who knows? Have you tried contacting her? Was there any indication at all that she was losing interest? Maybe the family weekend was an excuse to drop out?

 

I would try contacting her once more, in a gentle, non-pushy way, then leave it up to her. Wait and see what happens. If she gets in touch again, see what excuse she gives for why she lost contact. People do actually lose their phones though I would not hold out too much hope on that being the reason.

[newyorker11356]

It does seem a bit odd, following those texts. Maybe something cropped up, some family thing. Who knows? Have you tried contacting her? Was there any indication at all that she was losing interest? Maybe the family weekend was an excuse to drop out?

 

I would try contacting her once more, in a gentle, non-pushy way, then leave it up to her. Wait and see what happens. If she gets in touch again, see what excuse she gives for why she lost contact. People do actually lose their phones though I would not hold out too much hope on that being the reason.

 

It is odd, but when it comes to ghosting nowadays, you have to expect it can happen at any point.

 

Maybe she had a complete change of heart about the OP, and instead of telling him, she ghosted him. Who the heck knows..

[joseb]

What was the last contact between you two?

 

How did you try to contact her last?

[PegNosePete]

Extreme ghosting? Is that ghosting while bungee jumping or something?

 

Maybe she lost her phone, or it got broken or stolen, and she doesn't have your number. Maybe she got abducted by aliens! Who knows? It's impossible to tell.

[act00]

Who knows. No one knows. Everything is great and then they disappear. My thoughts could be that with her family in town and probably work, she might have felt overwhelmed and suddenly trying to go out with you was feeling like a burden, or she felt like she couldn't tell you she couldn't see you as often due to family in town. Maybe there was some family drama or emergency. I don't know. The way she started out so over the top into it, then dropped off, it's almost expected. Like she had to work so hard to keep you because she was trying to convince herself. Flames that start hot tend to burn out quickly as well. You might try reaching out once more and then let it drop if no response.

[lurker74]

Previous guy came back. Sorry man. Happens to nearly everyone online at some point.

[Rainah]

Did you try calling her?

[KBarletta]

I'm not sure it counts as ghosting after two dates when you met online. Does it? I thought there had to be an actual relationship for that to be the case, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

Chances are she was talking to multiple people and something worked out with someone else and she's moved on. It sucks but it happens a lot in these cases.

[FOBolous]

I had a girl ghost me after two great dates. But then she text me out of nowhere after a few months and we ended up dating for about 3 months. She said many of the same things your date said...."when am I going to see you again?"...blah blah blah

 

She gave me an excuse as to why she ghosted on me, but after several conversations, I figured out as kbarletta said, she was dating multiple guys and something worked out between her and one of the other guys. And when it didn't work out with that guy, she reached back out to me.

 

What sucks about OLD is that girls have an infinite number of guys to choose from. You're just one of many on her list.

Edited February 26, 2018 by FOBolous

[Eternal Sunshine]

2 dates doesn't even count as ghosting.

[Berteau]

I'm not sure it counts as ghosting after two dates when you met online. Does it? I thought there had to be an actual relationship for that to be the case, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

Chances are she was talking to multiple people and something worked out with someone else and she's moved on. It sucks but it happens a lot in these cases.

 

If I was dating multiple people I would have an idea of who I liked most and only send them the over the top texts showing interest she sent me. This took place in a 3 day timespan! I think she might have just been on the rebound also. I guess I’ll never trust a girls strong interest again.

[KBarletta]

If I was dating multiple people I would have an idea of who I liked most and only send them the over the top texts showing interest she sent me. This took place in a 3 day timespan! I think she might have just been on the rebound also. I guess I’ll never trust a girls strong interest again.

 

I wouldn't say you shouldn't trust people - just that you need to recognize that strong interest after two dates in unreliable no matter what. Two dates is no time, and when you're seeing multiple people (which OLD is all about, right?) then even if her level of interest in you was a 9/10, she may have found her 10/10 and clicked and just moved on. Attractive women (even OFFline) usually have multiple men at their fingertips and even if they express strong interest in one, that doesn't mean there isn't another one behind the next door.

 

So instead of just not trusting women, I'd say just remain skeptical until you actually get to know someone and have a conversation about committment, expectations, etc. And recognize that two dates is not time at all for that sort of thing to develop. Just my $0.02.

[winny]

I guess I’ll never trust a girls strong interest again.

 

Immaturity!

 

The word "trust" shouldn't even be there after 2 dates.

 

What you should rather be doing at this point is evaluation of her behavior without attachment and she has failed the evaluation by ghosting you. End of story. Only she failed the evaluation NOT all women.