ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 (edited) To make a very long story short, I am consistently encountering women who like me but it's never anybody that has the complete package I want. I am basically looking for a woman who is - 22-28 (I'm 29) - Decent face/In nice shape and preferably heavily into fitness (I'm huge into fitness) - Good personality/Character - Intelligent/Classy - Decent job - No kids My problem is that I absolutely despise rejection so I am constantly scanning for the women who are actively looking to meet someone. When I interact with those women, my success rate is VERY VERY high. The issue is none of them ever fit what I want. They're either too old (in their mid to late 30s), have kids, or are not classy/intelligent, not attractive enough, etc... etc... I also get approached by a lot but once again, by nobody I could consider dating. The women I really want are almost always in situations where an approach is very very difficult and likely a huge rejection % - a cute girl out with 8 of her friends at a bar, a cute girl at a gym working out with headphones, etc... Before people ask, I have everything I'm asking for. I'm good looking, in great shape, have a good job, have my own house, great social circle, genuinely a good person, big on family values, etc... I'm not a fat guy asking for a hottie. Edited February 19, 2018 by ZeddClarity Link to post Share on other sites
wolf123 Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 you got some high standards. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 you got some high standards. i'll give you guys some examples of what I'm talking about On Thursday, I met a cute 22 year old bartender at a local dive bar. She was very heavily into me. We go to afterparty afterwards, she is all into me. At first, I was very excited because she is attractive and super fun but the more I got to know her, the more I realized we're not a good match. She is a pothead, smokes all the time, currently doesn't even have a car, etc... I'm mr. responsible - I was making 150K when I was 25. I still party like an animal but outside of that, I'm extremely responsible On Saturday, this 30 year old approached me at a bar and she was right up my alley - smart, condo in the city, decent job, etc... but I just was not attracted to her at all physically. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 Absolutely no offence intended here, but you sound like you've got such a high opinion of yourself that you don't think anyone is good enough for you. I wish you the best of luck finding a woman who has no flaws at all, but here's a bit of advice, even supermodels with university degrees and fat bank accounts fart and wake up with bad breath sometimes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Huhjtg Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 It’s unrealistic to expect to find someone that is the total package. You’ll end up disappointed every time. You might consider yourself the total package but you have flaws as well. If you want to be truly happy you need to find someone that fits most of your standards and give them a chance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 Absolutely no offence intended here, but you sound like you've got such a high opinion of yourself that you don't think anyone is good enough for you. I wish you the best of luck finding a woman who has no flaws at all, but here's a bit of advice, even supermodels with university degrees and fat bank accounts fart and wake up with bad breath sometimes. tons of women are good enough for me, but they're always in situations where an approach is very difficult There are these 2 girls who work out at my gym all the time and they're right up my alley. 25 or 26 years old, cute face, great body, I think they are teachers (they always wear shirts with memes about teaching), that's exactly what I want but I don't know any way to approach them without extreme awkwardness/a very high rejection rate. I've tried to make it happen with average looking women but I'm just not physically attracted at all and I feel like I'm hanging out with a friend. I don't want a single mom because I don't want to deal with having another man in my life and I don't want to be a dad for another 4-6 years anyways. The bartender whose life is a bit of a mess - I'm not really interested in that either - my current life is pretty close to perfect. I'm not looking to take on any projects. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 It’s unrealistic to expect to find someone that is the total package. You’ll end up disappointed every time. You might consider yourself the total package but you have flaws as well. If you want to be truly happy you need to find someone that fits most of your standards and give them a chance. I'm okay with small flaws but not being physically attractive enough is not a small flaw Link to post Share on other sites
fireleaf Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 There are these 2 girls who work out at my gym all the time and they're right up my alley. 25 or 26 years old, cute face, great body, I think they are teachers (they always wear shirts with memes about teaching), that's exactly what I want but I don't know any way to approach them without extreme awkwardness/a very high rejection rate. . You said at first that you are afraid of rejection as most people are. You most likely have perfectionism issues and that means deep insecurity. It's tough for most people to approach someone they find attractive and worry about being awkward and possible rejection. Try it anyway. Even if it is awkward, any women worth getting to know will be fine with that. It's just part of being human. Even these "perfect" women are worried about rejection.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 (edited) You said at first that you are afraid of rejection as most people are. You most likely have perfectionism issues and that means deep insecurity. It's tough for most people to approach someone they find attractive and worry about being awkward and possible rejection. Try it anyway. Even if it is awkward, any women worth getting to know will be fine with that. It's just part of being human. Even these "perfect" women are worried about rejection.. I don't know how those really quality younger women ever meet anybody. I never see them putting forth any kind of effort to meet someone at all the social gatherings I go to. I see a lot of women putting forth a real effort but they tend to be either average looking or attractive but in their mid to late 30s and 40s... but the younger cuties probably have a billion guys hitting on them in their social circle/work/online dating anyways, so they don't have to put in any effort. going back to your point. I just have intense anxiety I guess...I feel like anything I say to them will be horribly awkward and they will hate me. I am very good around women who show me interest first but going into a cold situation like that is horrible. Edited February 19, 2018 by ZeddClarity Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 The kind of girl you want is the kind of girl most men of all ages want, including the very top tier guys. Are you very top tier? By the time you get to your 30s, if you're ok with dating late 20s to 30s, you'll clean up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 The kind of girl you want is the kind of girl most men of all ages want, including the very top tier guys. Are you very top tier? I'm 29 prolly about a 7-8/10 in terms of appearance. I have a decent face, great body, dress impeccable I've been making 140-160K since I was 25 and I'm very good with managing finances. I also live in a cheap area. Great social circle/family Great lifestyle - I go to the best concerts/sports events/bars/clubs/restaurants/vacation 8 times a year/etc... If I was okay dating 30s, I would be cleaning up now. Women around 34-38 go crazy for me now Link to post Share on other sites
fireleaf Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 I just have intense anxiety I guess...I feel like anything I say to them will be horribly awkward and they will hate me. I am very good around women who show me interest first but going into a cold situation like that is horrible. I totally understand that fear. And if the worst happened and she actually hated you for approaching her a little awkwardly then it is a reflection on her not you. Not someone worth getting to know. A lot of women will find it endearing and be drawn to you trust me. Take baby steps. Try smiling at one of these girls and see what happens Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 (edited) I totally understand that fear. And if the worst happened and she actually hated you for approaching her a little awkwardly then it is a reflection on her not you. Not someone worth getting to know. A lot of women will find it endearing and be drawn to you trust me. Take baby steps. Try smiling at one of these girls and see what happens It's probably a topic for a different thread but I find it easy to be very confident around women who show me interest first or are clearly trying to meet someone (i'm very good at reading body language). Going into a totally cold situation with an attractive female for me is horrible. I have overwhelming atrocious anxiety. I guess I feel those ladies have impossible standards and won't like me. Edited February 19, 2018 by ZeddClarity Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 I'm 29 prolly about a 7-8/10 in terms of appearance. I have a decent face, great body, dress impeccable I've been making 140-160K since I was 25 and I'm very good with managing finances. I also live in a cheap area. Great social circle/family Great lifestyle - I go to the best concerts/sports events/bars/clubs/restaurants/vacation 8 times a year/etc... If I was okay dating 30s, I would be cleaning up now. Women around 34-38 go crazy for me now Well..look at you!! BUT, you're afraid to approach teachers( no offense to teachers) at the gym. Really got it happening,huh? I suggest you check your ego and don't give off the vibe that your posts read. That might get you a ONS with a bartender,who smokes from a dive bar or a 30'something single mother looking for a guy but c'mon,dude. What's the best sporting event you've been to? What life experiences you got? I see you've mentioned making around $600k pre-tax..how's that stock portfolio? Get your head outta your ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZeddClarity Posted February 19, 2018 Author Share Posted February 19, 2018 (edited) Well..look at you!! BUT, you're afraid to approach teachers( no offense to teachers) at the gym. Really got it happening,huh? I suggest you check your ego and don't give off the vibe that your posts read. That might get you a ONS with a bartender,who smokes from a dive bar or a 30'something single mother looking for a guy but c'mon,dude. What's the best sporting event you've been to? What life experiences you got? I see you've mentioned making around $600k pre-tax..how's that stock portfolio? Get your head outta your ass. she asked if I was top tier, I tried to give an honest evaluation of myself. the 7-8/10 is probably questionable and based on personal preference. I get complimented on a daily basis sometimes but I've had some people say I was more towards average (although I've had many more say I was very gorgeous). It depends on what you like - some people like my dark Italian/Spanish look, others prefer the all American white guy look. I do have a nice physique that's just the right amount of muscle size and dress impeccable. 600K pre tax? I said 140-160K but I live below my means while living in a cheap area so I'm comfortable financially. I have a pretty fun lifestyle - me and me best buddy try to go to baseball/football/hockey games, go to some great country/rock/EDM concerts, usually vacation in NYC/Toronto/Miami/California/etc... What do you mean afraid to approach a teacher at a gym? A hot 26 year old woman with a great body is at the very top of our social hierarchy. That means a hell of a lot more than whatever nonsense I've accomplished. Edited February 19, 2018 by ZeddClarity Link to post Share on other sites
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