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Meeting someone before you leave a relationship


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 8th February 2018, 12:00 PM   #16
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Of course her loss. It's just annoying cos I've remained single for 3 years until I felt I found someone I really connected with. I don't just settle for any old boot haha that's why this was different imo. I'm really picky.
I hate to admit to myself you're all correct. I thought this was different but maybe not
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:42 PM   #17
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I'm an idiot. I broke NC...seriously where is my will power
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:46 PM   #18
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How did the contact with her go?
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:53 PM   #19
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Oh wow... Not good. She didn't even bother reading it lol, despite coming online. Fml lol
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Old 8th February 2018, 6:08 PM   #20
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What did you say to her?
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Old 8th February 2018, 6:17 PM   #21
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I'm an idiot. I broke NC...seriously where is my will power
Right behind your dignity.

People who don't want to accept "what is" think that one more try will crack that nut--and usually, it doesn't.

She's a colossal mess and you do not want sloppy seconds from her. She's not done with her boyfriend and this is letting you know that. A wise man would take that message and leave a messy situation alone.
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:41 PM   #22
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Funny I can give all the advice I like , but sometimes the pressure is just too much to overcome when giving it to yourself !
Well we did speak, back and forth for a while. She's in a state of empty , confusion and loneliness. It's not her ex bf I can assure you that tho. she hung out with another guy for a day and that what sent her into a state of shutting down everyone and everything. She has not pursued with said other guy. At least she's being open tho.
I did say that if it wasn't what she wanted and was sure then we could part ways and that would be from social media too, and that freaked her a little. She asked why would I be removing her from Facebook And said we can speak soon.

I do t think she knows what she wants and probably wants to live her life a little. She is a lot younger than me. 10 years lol. She was avert mature 22 or so u thought lol. I'm 32 but look a lot younger, which kind of goes in my favour sometimes. apart from my heart state
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Old 9th February 2018, 10:28 AM   #23
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Of course her loss. It's just annoying cos I've remained single for 3 years until I felt I found someone I really connected with. I don't just settle for any old boot haha that's why this was different imo. I'm really picky.
I hate to admit to myself you're all correct. I thought this was different but maybe not
No hate but some touch love.

A man of 32 picking a 22 on her way out of a relationship is not being picky. You may be picky in terms of looks but you are far from being picky in terms of finding a woman with character, integrity, maturity.
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Old 9th February 2018, 11:30 AM   #24
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No hate but some touch love.

A man of 32 picking a 22 on her way out of a relationship is not being picky. You may be picky in terms of looks but you are far from being picky in terms of finding a woman with character, integrity, maturity.
Hey I didnt plan for me to like her, it all ended up just happening! When you click with someone that's all there is to it. I'm very very good at keeping people at arms length and being guarded. For the very reason I'm scared of getting hurt and I won't settle for crap. She worked hard on my defences and when she got what she wanted she showed her true character, and trust me I had no idea until that point, I was just getting used. So you're correct, harsh but correct lol
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Old 9th February 2018, 11:37 AM   #25
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She's in a state of empty , confusion and loneliness.
Anytime anyone says they're "confused", it means that they like you, but there is someone else they'd rather be with, but they don't know how that person feels; yet they don't want to cut you loose in case things don't work out with that other person, they want to fall back on you to keep them from being by themselves.

A person who isn't confused knows what they want and they're not hedging their bets while marking time with someone else's feelings.

At the end of the day, you're not her first choice--if you were, there would be no confusion. There is someone else she'd rather be with and he's not on board with her plans yet, but as long as you're willing to hang around and wait for her to figure out if she wants to be with him, she'll throw crumbs in your direction.
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Old 9th February 2018, 11:57 AM   #26
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Is this really all that surprising?

You didn't need a crystal ball to see where this was going. Even if she ran into your arms straight away, you're definitely just a rebound or whatever word feels more comfortable to you.

And who wants to be someone's rebound? I know I don't.

Such is life.

Lesson learned.

Save your energy for someone who is just as available as you are.

Good luck.
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Old 9th February 2018, 12:47 PM   #27
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Anytime anyone says they're "confused", it means that they like you, but there is someone else they'd rather be with, but they don't know how that person feels; yet they don't want to cut you loose in case things.
Yes, she has her sights set another person(s) now. Chances she will come back are slim to none. This was a rebound/comfort thing. It would be advisable to move on and do not look back. I am sorry.
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Old 9th February 2018, 1:04 PM   #28
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Yes, she has her sights set another person(s) now. Chances she will come back are slim to none. This was a rebound/comfort thing. It would be advisable to move on and do not look back. I am sorry.
It's how it goes sometimes I guess. I'm starting to accept things, after everyone's Words of wisdom. Imy not a doormat and I Know I can do better. It obviously wasn't real lol
Thank you guys

Last edited by Soul Bear; 9th February 2018 at 1:09 PM..
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