veganpilot Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 Everything has being going well until a few days ago where he picked a fight over his favorite color and the color of his eyes. It was a pointless fight and he blew the drama out of proportions. He even screenshotted previous photos in conversations to prove he wears his favorite color and that he had taken civvie selfies before when I complimented seeing him in his civvies for the first time. Then yesterday, he got upset because I can't exactly remember what his favorite car is. Then he got up in the middle of the night to ask me when his birthday was. It's completely strange. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in the relationship right now since he gets distant after those fights and doesn't initiate conversation. He's in the military by the way.
basil67 Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 It's hard to advise without context of the rest of the relationship. On face value, I'd say that it's not worth staying in a relationship where you feel you're walking on eggshells. Is this stuff annoying enough to be a dealbreaker for you? How long have you been together?
Author veganpilot Posted November 2, 2017 Author Posted November 2, 2017 It's hard to advise without context of the rest of the relationship. On face value, I'd say that it's not worth staying in a relationship where you feel you're walking on eggshells. Is this stuff annoying enough to be a dealbreaker for you? How long have you been together? We have been together for 4 months now. He doesn't usually pick up fights but gets angry when I don't remember certain things.
viatori patuit Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 First you might want to check with him. Fights usually have two involved. It might be something other than that he was agitated about. Second, I would take a look at myself and see if I do anything that I could improve on. No point in starting another fight when you ask about it. Finally, when you do ask about it keep an open mind. Everyone usually has some valid reasons for their behavior. If they don’t they are clinically insane. You might not agree with him but at least listen. Or if you don’t care then dump him. Either way you will have a part in this. Good luck.
Author veganpilot Posted November 2, 2017 Author Posted November 2, 2017 First you might want to check with him. Fights usually have two involved. It might be something other than that he was agitated about. Second, I would take a look at myself and see if I do anything that I could improve on. No point in starting another fight when you ask about it. Finally, when you do ask about it keep an open mind. Everyone usually has some valid reasons for their behavior. If they don’t they are clinically insane. You might not agree with him but at least listen. Or if you don’t care then dump him. Either way you will have a part in this. Good luck. How can I ask him what his problem is without getting him fetting defensive or angry? I just gave him space and tell him later on that there is more to a relationship than just remembering favorite cars alone.
Miss Spider Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 the color of his eyes? he sounds insufferable no offense
Tnguy1 Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 Cut your loss and move on.. if it feels like eggshells now can you imagine how it will be if you continue in this relationship?? Good luck and hope the best for you !! 2
GemmaUK Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 Dearie me! This guy is seriously sweating the small stuff! He's butt hurt because you don't remember specific little things about him. I can't imagine how this would go down if there was ever anything real to argue about. Four months in is when you start to get to know the real person, sounds like you need a plan to get out.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 He's likely angry about something else and is projecting through these innocuous topics because he lacks the communication skills to tell you what's really bothering him. Having said that, I have very little patience for people who create drama out of small issues. I wouldn't want to be there when a big, serious issuedoes come up, as such people are often unable to cope. I want a partner who can weather the storms and knows how to choose their battles and not pick fights over ridiculous things. 1
d0nnivain Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 4 months & you are already fighting? Next. There is no point if you aren't getting along during the HM stage. Plus it takes two to fight. When he gets like this just agree with him. How hard is it to say, fine you're right. I mean who cares whether he wears his favorite color? That's not something to fight about. 1
viatori patuit Posted November 2, 2017 Posted November 2, 2017 How can I ask him what his problem is without getting him fetting defensive or angry? I just gave him space and tell him later on that there is more to a relationship than just remembering favorite cars alone. Well that in and of itself is a problem. I know my so will get upset at some of the things I ask. That is her problem. If I need to know something or something is bothering me it is my right to ask. I just don’t have to be a jerk about it. If you can’t even talk to this guy about a simple misunderstanding then you really need to carefully consider if you want to continue.
Recommended Posts