soret Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 I'd say I did a dumb thing since now I'm back to feeling crappy but I assure you I've finally stood up for myself. If you have read my previous threads you know that I was seeing a guy but things were off. Mainly because we texted all the time and he had discussed heading into a relationship. Something happened once the third date came up and he cancelled on me due to having a last minute assignment. I didn't ask about it, I just brushed it off but the more I thought about it the more I thought this guy was playing me. I later confronted him about it and I was told that he miscommunicated with me and he takes the blame for him flaking. Last week I found out he had updated his dating profile. To me this was a slap in the face especially after discussing being more serious with each other. I couldn't deal with it and I told him to stop leading me on. I didn't mention that I found out about the dating app. He ended things with me at that point. Yesterday I messaged him because I felt like I needed to confront him about the dating profile. I told him that I missed talking to him, he said that he felt the same. I then mentioned that I found out about the dating profile. He said he wasn't active on it but he just wanted the 'swiping gratification' because it gave him an ego boost. I totally don't agree with this at all. It's a load of crap. He told me that he was very serious about me but wasn't 100 percent sure if we were compatible which is why he wanted to continue to spend some time with me. My intentions to only sleep with him if we were in a relationship was also something he took seriously and he wanted to be ready for when that moment came. He said he wasn't seeing anyone else when we were talking/dating. He kept the dating app until he was certain we were right for each other. He sent back a huge response. Here I was thinking things were okay. I then said "I am sad without you in my life". *crickets* I could see when he was last online and he was ignoring my message. 6 hours go by and nothing. Even though he was last active 15 min ago. I sleep on it and I wake up in the morning and it's the same situation. He is active on other social media at this point. I message him again saying I'd rather he just be honest with me rather than ignore me. Again, nothing. So I did what I had to do. I removed him from social media and deleted his number. I don't even know what is going through his head. My guess I was just a back up to him.
kendahke Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 People treat you the way they feel about you. 1
smackie9 Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 If it doesn't feel right then it's not...that's what I always say. I get that when we make a decision to confront, we feel some regret for what we have said, thinking we did it, it's our fault, etc. MMM NO! they are the one with the problem not you. He doesn't give a rat's ass.
Miss Spider Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) that's weak sht for him to ghost. You were dating for almost 3 months and he wasn't sure yet if you were compatible. It wasn't a match. When it's a match you don't worry about stuff like this. Move on and find someone right for you Edited September 23, 2017 by Cookiesandough
preraph Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 Sadly, very few guys "know if you're compatible" if they haven't slept with you. I mean, to them, that is the main event. It seems petty, but that's the reality.
act00 Posted September 23, 2017 Posted September 23, 2017 You're relying on people to remember you and past posts. I don't remember. Based on this one post, I don't know why you're getting uptight about one cancellation...three dates, one cancellation. Bummer. Life goes on. Is this a repeated offense? Is this guy "always busy?" One date is one date, but suddenly being evasive and cancelling out more than once...hint taken...move on. There has to be a high level of drama and conflict over the course of two (almost three) dates to warrant this response from you, and that screams "red flags" that something is terribly off in this relationship that has barely even started. Three dates should not breed this high level of conflict. Either you are highly sensitive and unreasonable or he's a jerk and not worth your time. Unless you two decided, together, to delete your dating profiles and focus on each other and be exclusive, you don't get a say on what he's doing, and if you two decided this as a couple, and you felt the need to check his profile (red flag), and he's still active in dating, dump him, as he clearly is not in that place to make that commitment. ..... When I previewed my post, I saw someone post that you have been dating for three months...two dates in three months, a cancellation, and a high level of conflict...this is really not a good situation. Find someone who's ready to put in the time and effort to grow a relationship.
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