Is it weird to date a girl 4 years older than me?

[004georg]

Hello, this is my first post on this site, so I am sorry if this isn't in the appropriate section.

 

Anyways, I work at a coffee shop with a girl who I have recently become friends with. I am 17 and she is 21, but we get along greatly. Unfortunately, yesterday was her last day at the coffee shop for summer as she will be leaving for college soon. She will be a senior this year at her college and I'll be a senior at my high school. She is truly one of a kind. I am a reserved person, but I am open to her and she is the first girl that makes me laugh and smile. I've started to catch feelings for her ever since she's left, but I know she has a boyfriend at her college. Though before she left we added each others phone numbers and social media accounts. In fact, we have made plans to go to our local fair this week.

 

I've been wondering though, I know there is a little bit of an age gap between us two, but could a relationship work out between us? I know that there's plenty of fish in the sea, but this girl is perfect. I am not going for a relationship right now because I know she has a boyfriend and I don't want to take things too quick. I'm fine with just staying as friends for now but I really don't want to lose her.

 

Please be honest if you think I am being unrealistic and if we should just stay as friends.

[Cookiesandough]

Hello, I realized I posted this in the wrong section before. Sorry about that.

 

Anyways, I work at a coffee shop with a girl who I have recently become friends with. I am 17 and she is 21, but we get along greatly. Unfortunately, yesterday was her last day at the coffee shop for summer as she will be leaving for college soon. She will be a senior this year at her college and I'll be a senior at my high school. She is truly one of a kind. I am a reserved person, but I am open to her and she is the first girl that makes me laugh and smile. I've started to catch feelings for her ever since she's left, but I know she has a boyfriend at her college. Though before she left we added each others phone numbers and social media accounts. In fact, we have made plans to go to our local fair this week.

 

I've been wondering though, I know there is a little bit of an age gap between us two, but could a relationship work out between us? I know that there's plenty of fish in the sea, but this girl is perfect. I am not going for a relationship right now because I know she has a boyfriend and I don't want to take things too quick. I'm fine with just staying as friends for now but I really don't want to lose her.

 

Please be honest if you think I am being unrealistic and if we should just stay as friends.

 

 

It's not so much the 4 years that's the problem. The real hindrance here is that she has a boyfriend and you are at two different stages in your life. I highly doubt a 21 year old woman wants to date a 17 year old. I don't think she sees anything more than platonic with you two. I'm sorry. Could be wrong. Just my guess.

Edited August 23, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[HarmonyDriven]

 

....I know she has a boyfriend at her college.

 

I'm fine with just staying as friends for now.

 

Please be honest if you think I am being unrealistic and if we should just stay as friends.

 

Yes, unrealistic as she has a boyfriend. Stay friends. By staying friends now, you never know what can happen later....

[stixx]

Hello, this is my first post on this site, so I am sorry if this isn't in the appropriate section.

 

Anyways, I work at a coffee shop with a girl who I have recently become friends with. I am 17 and she is 21, but we get along greatly. Unfortunately, yesterday was her last day at the coffee shop for summer as she will be leaving for college soon. She will be a senior this year at her college and I'll be a senior at my high school. She is truly one of a kind. I am a reserved person, but I am open to her and she is the first girl that makes me laugh and smile. I've started to catch feelings for her ever since she's left, but I know she has a boyfriend at her college. Though before she left we added each others phone numbers and social media accounts. In fact, we have made plans to go to our local fair this week.

 

I've been wondering though, I know there is a little bit of an age gap between us two, but could a relationship work out between us? I know that there's plenty of fish in the sea, but this girl is perfect. I am not going for a relationship right now because I know she has a boyfriend and I don't want to take things too quick. I'm fine with just staying as friends for now but I really don't want to lose her.

 

Please be honest if you think I am being unrealistic and if we should just stay as friends.

 

No. I was 17 dating a 26 year old. I never dated a woman my age. EVER.

 

I dated a girl once when I was 25 and she was same age. I always dated older women because I wont date a child,,,,even more so today. Girls in the 20s hit on me all the time. Not gonna happen. Not even in the 30s unless you have your life together.....educated...have your own place, etc..

 

I will date a younger woman but she has to be well established. I dated a 29 year old last year for 3 weeks. She was a train mess. Great job, education, but she lived at home.

 

Mom and dad i dont want to deal with, then again.....a woman age 43 that has a good job and is a drunk I want nothing to do with.

 

You think your at a funny age...Hit your 40s and get back to me. lol

[shellybing]

4 years would not be so much if you were older.

 

17 and 21 is a large gap for younger people.

 

But, maybe if you were older, it might not be so bad. For example, there is not much difference in being 34 and 38; But the differences in a 17 and 21 year old are huge.

 

That is my opinion. Stick to someone your own age and be a teenager.

 

If you decide later in life, you like more mature women, go for it.

 

My mother and step mother were almost a decade older than my father.

[stixx]

Hello, this is my first post on this site, so I am sorry if this isn't in the appropriate section.

 

Anyways, I work at a coffee shop with a girl who I have recently become friends with. I am 17 and she is 21, but we get along greatly. Unfortunately, yesterday was her last day at the coffee shop for summer as she will be leaving for college soon. She will be a senior this year at her college and I'll be a senior at my high school. She is truly one of a kind. I am a reserved person, but I am open to her and she is the first girl that makes me laugh and smile. I've started to catch feelings for her ever since she's left, but I know she has a boyfriend at her college. Though before she left we added each others phone numbers and social media accounts. In fact, we have made plans to go to our local fair this week.

 

I've been wondering though, I know there is a little bit of an age gap between us two, but could a relationship work out between us? I know that there's plenty of fish in the sea, but this girl is perfect. I am not going for a relationship right now because I know she has a boyfriend and I don't want to take things too quick. I'm fine with just staying as friends for now but I really don't want to lose her.

 

Please be honest if you think I am being unrealistic and if we should just stay as friends.

 

go with the flow. at your age you really need an older female who you can keep up with on demand.....ya know?

 

Dont be with a person your age. Older women are the way to go. At your age you need late 30s at least if you have a sex drive.

 

I could be wrong. I been with women in the 50s that can bury a kid like you in bed.

[Steve51]

I dated a girl who was 4 years older than me and it was no big deal. We were close enough in age to have experienced the same things in life. I know two guys who married women much older than them, one was 11 years older and the other 13. They said that it did not become a problem until their old age. One cared for his wheelbound wife for 10 years of his life remaining by her side throughout it. That is true love. The other guy got divorced because he was still young enough to want to do things that his old wife could not.

 

At my age of 66, would not date a woman who was not around to watch black and white TV. so a few years older or younger is fine with me.

[hercules22]

not weird at all some of these women who are older then you are better matches just depends on the person though you cant do much as she has a boyfriend i wouldn't stay close to her either as that will just land you in the friendzone forever.

[kazen]

Stay in touch with her and invite her to do something just as friends. Once you turn 18 and going to college too, then make your move.

[Erik30]

I think it's a bad idea to keep hanging out with her since she has a boyfriend. You already like her, and you'll probably end up liking her even more once you get to know her better. You know you don't really want to be "just friends" if you're honest with yourself. Imagine how much it will suck hearing her tell you stories about her boyfriend and their life together...

 

The age difference between the two of you might also be a problem right now once alcohol and clubs/bars become envolved.

[d0nnivain]

My husband is 5 years older then me. The 4 year age difference isn't the issue.

 

The issue is you are at different life stages. You are a teenaged boy, probably still in HS. She is a grown adult. Big difference.

 

Once both parties are over say 25, a few year age difference is no big deal but when you are younger, it's a problem. Could you really see yourself going out with a 13 year old (a 4 year gap the other way)?

[kendahke]

Hello, this is my first post on this site, so I am sorry if this isn't in the appropriate section.

 

Anyways, I work at a coffee shop with a girl who I have recently become friends with. I am 17 and she is 21, but we get along greatly. Unfortunately, yesterday was her last day at the coffee shop for summer as she will be leaving for college soon. She will be a senior this year at her college and I'll be a senior at my high school. She is truly one of a kind. I am a reserved person, but I am open to her and she is the first girl that makes me laugh and smile. I've started to catch feelings for her ever since she's left, but I know she has a boyfriend at her college. Though before she left we added each others phone numbers and social media accounts. In fact, we have made plans to go to our local fair this week.

 

I've been wondering though, I know there is a little bit of an age gap between us two, but could a relationship work out between us?

 

Please be honest if you think I am being unrealistic and if we should just stay as friends.

 

You should ask her boyfriend if he minds you being friends with her.

 

IMO, she should not have encouraged you by giving you her number, social media information and agreeing to go to a faire with you while she's in a relationship with a guy who most likely will mind.

 

Let me ask you this: if you were her boyfriend, would you be OK with some guy writing what you wrote?

 

If you were her boyfriend, what would you want us to tell the guy writing this post?

 

Aside from the fact that at 17, you're a minor. At 21, she's an adult. There are some activities that you can't do with her, such as going to a bar and drinking, renting a hotel room in your name or even renting a car to take a trip to stay at said hotel. If this was 27 and 31, no problem--but you've still got a legal age gulf to cross that she's already crossed.

Edited August 23, 2017 by kendahke

[d0nnivain]

If she has a BF at college, you are just some kid she's being nice to.

[004georg]

Thank you for the replies everyone. Sometimes I think I get too ambitious and affectionate and after reflecting about it, I've realized that a relationship would most likely not work out at this time. Despite this, I am still lucky to have her as a friend. Maybe down the road something may happen, but for now I think we're just going to stay as friends.

[alsudduth]

Thank you for the replies everyone. Sometimes I think I get too ambitious and affectionate and after reflecting about it, I've realized that a relationship would most likely not work out at this time. Despite this, I am still lucky to have her as a friend. Maybe down the road something may happen, but for now I think we're just going to stay as friends.

 

IF it doesn't work out with her boyfriend, age gaps can work. My brother is 10 years younger than his wife, and my sister is quite a few years older than her husband.