Mrpigeon Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Where to begin. I've been dating and have put a ring on the finger of the most awesome woman I've ever met. Fun to hang around and chat to, even after 3.5 years together and 1 of those years now being in a LDR - where I supported in her making the choice to get her career kickstarted after issues getting a good job locally. The LDR is not a problem 'right now'. Unfortunately there is one major issue... The issue here is her paranoia and forgetfulness. I am not talking jealousy paranoia, I am talking the paranoia that comes from a lack of trust in my character. Often believing I've done things (the tiniest of indescrepancies at times) that are absolutely not true and would make me out to be some sort of weirdo! She admits she is forgetful, however - which tallies with the paranoia! And I believe both traits she possessed long before I came on the scene. I love this woman very much but I am at my wits end in dealing with this. I had to confront her yesterday to attempt once more for her see what she is doing to us but there is no getting through to her at all. It does not matter what I say or how I present it to her, logic completely goes out of the window and she is adamant I have still done things that make no sense whatsoever. We are both stubborn about things and I am often defencive when pressed, but I am trying to get closure on these issues so we can move on together without these little black clouds all over the place that will be brought up again and again. She is breaking my heart with the way she just cannot see what she is doing to us. If she just changed this one thing about herself, our relationship would be on a far better footing than it is now. My only way out is to either leave her, to retain my self respect, or begrudgingly accept she is right on all accounts to 'perhaps' keep her in my life. I've been weak in the past about this because the love and having her not part of my life was too much to bear. Now I am slowly leaning the other way but I still love her very much. Anyone been through something similar? What's the play here? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Give us examples please. It doesn't matter she's this amazing woman if she ruins it all with her bad behavior. It's like those people saying he's an amazing man when he doesn't drink. Those relationships are not viable long term. What makes a person amazing is their capacity to keep their feet on the ground and keep their integrity during difficult events. Other than that being an amazing woman while everything is dandy has no merit and does not make a woman *special* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 I agree with Gaeta, we need proper details as to what this issue truly is. When people leave out the specifics this tells us it would be a dealbreaker for the majority and you are avoiding that type of advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 . I am talking the paranoia that comes from a lack of trust in my character. Often believing I've done things (the tiniest of indescrepancies at times) that are absolutely not true and would make me out to be some sort of weirdo! What you think are small descripancies, could actually be huge red flags that she is choosing to not ignore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Address it before you walk down the aisle. You can't marry without trust. It won't work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Looks like the OP ran away....... Link to post Share on other sites
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