Ghosting

[supercube009]

A couple months ago I was dating this girl. We went out on 3 dates, the first 3 dates I planned everything. During this time I also initiated virtually 100% of all the texts, phonecalls etc. During the dates she never ever expressed any desire to see me again. After date #3 I waited for her to initiate which she never did so I just chalked it up to lack of interest - I don't want to be the one initiating all the time and I think after the first couple of times I believe a woman should initiate conversation and signal that she wants you to call her or see you again.

 

A month goes by and just out of curiosity I sent her a text asking her what exactly happened. She wrote back stating that "I" had ghosted "her" because she never heard from me after the 3rd date. WTF?

 

I told her that the definition of ghosting is if I had ignored her communication, but in this case she never reciprocated or initiated anything. I took a good amount of interest by planning the first few dates but she never even sent me one text or give me one call or express one single statement that she wanted to see me again, how on earth can she claim I ghosted her?

 

She says women don't have to do that... which is BS to me. My ex girlfriends could not stop texting me after just the very first date!

 

So, folks, what exactly is ghosting? Is the above ghosting? I surely don't think so, what about you?

[hercules22]

yeah this girl is stupid if she thinks you ghosted from my point of view from reading what you said i would say she ghosted you and i agree with you if she was interested and was looking forward to seeing you again and talking inbetween dates she would message u and call her self that is biggest bs that its all up to the men to initiate .

 

and girls love to talk if u been going out together they will end up starting convos with u more once they get comfortable aswell if they are a bit shy if a girl done that to me i would thought she was simply seeing someone else

[act00]

Urban dictionary says: The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.

 

You did cease all communication, but I don't know if you fit the definition because she never initiated communication or interest, or very rarely did, and you were interested in continued dating, but had very little reciprocity other than her agreeing to your continued prompting. Three dates and the time in between, and she rarely texted or called, and didn't really express or demonstrate any real interest or desire in you when you were together, the natural reaction would be to "take a hint" and just leave her alone. IMO, that's not really ghosting. Ghosting would be if she showed and expressed a desire to continue dating and know you more (in which you were equally enthralled at the time but changed your mind), and attempted to contact you, and you ignored her completely.

 

I don't think you ghosted. I think you reacted to her aloofness and seeming non-interest.

[bluefeather]

You're right, and she doesn't know what she's talking about. You didn't ghost her. Don't argue with her anymore. Just find someone else.

[Kamille]

I'm a bit traditional when it comes to who initiates the first few dates (I prefer he do it). Even then, I feel contact should very quickly be initiated by both. Certainly, showing interest is important. That's pretty much all we women have to do.

 

She sounds really passive. Probably best that she fell out of your life.

[coolheadal]

A couple months ago I was dating this girl. We went out on 3 dates, the first 3 dates I planned everything. During this time I also initiated virtually 100% of all the texts, phonecalls etc. During the dates she never ever expressed any desire to see me again. After date #3 I waited for her to initiate which she never did so I just chalked it up to lack of interest - I don't want to be the one initiating all the time and I think after the first couple of times I believe a woman should initiate conversation and signal that she wants you to call her or see you again.

 

A month goes by and just out of curiosity I sent her a text asking her what exactly happened. She wrote back stating that "I" had ghosted "her" because she never heard from me after the 3rd date. WTF?

 

I told her that the definition of ghosting is if I had ignored her communication, but in this case she never reciprocated or initiated anything. I took a good amount of interest by planning the first few dates but she never even sent me one text or give me one call or express one single statement that she wanted to see me again, how on earth can she claim I ghosted her?

 

She says women don't have to do that... which is BS to me. My ex girlfriends could not stop texting me after just the very first date!

 

So, folks, what exactly is ghosting? Is the above ghosting? I surely don't think so, what about you?

 

Why even bother to text her every again. Something is wrong with her mental state of mind. I have that going on now I don't care I won't give in to her demands. You should move on. Why are you settle for this sort of rejection. If they don't want to text you they won't, but if they put you in their friend zone that's another story. Girls on dating sites always think it's okay to friend you but not date you. I can see if she was seeing someone else and thought I was amazing man. She sends me her cell number I call her and get this odd say I didn't know you would call me now. I am so tired I can't talk to you now. I said fine, when you are ready to talk just do it. Click-me..