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After date text or no after date text


whatwhit

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Hello All,

 

I had a date with a guy I met off of a dating app last night. Turns out he lives in my complex. We went and had drinks for national margarita day. I think it went well, he offered to pay for my drink and get dinner. He would touch my leg a couple of times. Afterwards we went back to his place to have a beer and watch cops haha. While we were watching TV he had his hand on my leg the whole time. We kissed goodnight and made plans to hang out again on Sunday.

 

Do any of you send a thank you text after first dates or wait for the guy to send one. Should I wait til Saturday to confirm?

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Hello All,

 

I had a date with a guy I met off of a dating app last night. Turns out he lives in my complex. We went and had drinks for national margarita day. I think it went well, he offered to pay for my drink and get dinner. He would touch my leg a couple of times. Afterwards we went back to his place to have a beer and watch cops haha. While we were watching TV he had his hand on my leg the whole time. We kissed goodnight and made plans to hang out again on Sunday.

 

Do any of you send a thank you text after first dates or wait for the guy to send one. Should I wait til Saturday to confirm?

 

If he paid for you, you should send him a thank you text. If he asked you for date on Sunday without specifics, he needs to confirm by Saturday and have specifics. If he doesn't confirm by Saturday, you start making other plans. If he reaches out Sunday morning, you'll have to decide if that sits right with you or not and whether or not you want to go.

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YES! you should send a "I had a great time tonight, thank you.... looking forward to Sunday ;)" text always, since he was the one that treated you on the date...plus to let him know you are interested. And then the ball is in his court to confirm the next date.

 

If there are crickets, some guys take that as a possible no second date.

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I agree with the above posters

 

I never used to send a thank you text because I thought it would make it seem like I was chasing the guy or being 'desperate'. Oh how wrong that logic is!

 

I just sent a thank you text to the guy I went out with last night because he paid for my drinks

 

Its the polite thing to do :)

 

If you're worried about coming off as too interested, think of it this way. If a poite text thanking your date for drinks or dinner turns him off...then he was never into you in the first place

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Ok just thanked him - nervousssss lol. I hate dating even if a first date went well sometimes you never hear from them. Can alcohol alter how a person thinks of you? Like could he had liked me more due to alcohol?

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I agree with the above posters

 

I never used to send a thank you text because I thought it would make it seem like I was chasing the guy or being 'desperate'. Oh how wrong that logic is!

 

I just sent a thank you text to the guy I went out with last night because he paid for my drinks

 

Its the polite thing to do :)

 

If you're worried about coming off as too interested, think of it this way. If a poite text thanking your date for drinks or dinner turns him off...then he was never into you in the first place

 

Guys don't usually think this way. Most will appreciate a thank you as it is common courtesy and not see any pursuing from a woman as desperate.

 

Instead, we see it as interest.

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Well he has his read recipes on. So he read it - but didn't say anything :(

 

Relax before you panic. I often will reply later - I could be heading to a meeting, in a meeting, busy, or just thinking of what to text you back.

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Yeahhhhh. He usually responds quickly tho.

 

Was this a bad thing to say? Thank you for the drinks,queso, and for watching cops with me last night. Had a good time! Sunday should be fun :) .

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Yeahhhhh. He usually responds quickly tho.

 

Was this a bad thing to say? Thank you for the drinks,queso, and for watching cops with me last night. Had a good time! Sunday should be fun :) .

 

That is textbook perfect and would cause me to look forward to our next date.

 

Don't read too much in the time he takes to reply - he could be busy. If interested he'll respond today or tomorrow. If he doesn't respond he may not be interested. But it's only been what an hour?

 

I can tell you really like him. Just chill and if it's meant to happen it will.

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I am a guy, 22, and have gone on multiple dates. Regardless if I am into the girl or not, a thank you is expected. I have had girls that thanked me and ones that did not. Even if I was into the girl and she did not thank me, I cut it off right there. Its common decency and tells a lot about someone.

 

Now with the guy reading it and not responding, RELAX. Give him some time. If he does not get back to you by tomorrow, thats when I would say to move onto the next. (if he's purposely not responding, hes doing a good job building up your attraction for him ;) )

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CaliforniaGirl
Yeahhhhh. He usually responds quickly tho.

 

Was this a bad thing to say? Thank you for the drinks,queso, and for watching cops with me last night. Had a good time! Sunday should be fun :) .

 

Maybe he's nervous about how to couch his reply to you

 

Sounds like a nice, casual, and polite text to me. :)

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So I guess if I haven't heard from him by Saturday would it be ok to text him Sunday? Be like - hey taking my dog to the park if you'd like to still hang out. You

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CaliforniaGirl
So I guess if I haven't heard from him by Saturday would it be ok to text him Sunday? Be like - hey taking my dog to the park if you'd like to still hang out. You

 

Personally, I wouldn't. You already made it clear that you wanted to go out, and he agreed. If you haven't heard from him before Sunday, do your own thing. :)

 

But you probably will, so don't worry.

 

You ALREADY made mention of Sunday in a text...that plus having mentioned it in person is going to be overkill if you do it yet a third time...don't. Let him decide if he wants to do Sunday for real and let him decide in a respectful amount of time (not Sunday morning, IMO, but we all have our own tolerance on things like this).

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Honestly, if he doesn't hit you back after you reached out to him like that, I wouldn't hit him up again. 9 times out of 10 he will eventually get back with you in the future. But when he does, he ignored you once, risk it again?

 

But you also need to remember that if he is a man, not a boy, he is busy. You want to attract the men not the boys. I am not sure what time it is wherever you are at, but right now where I am at it is prime time for a regular 9-5.

 

All in all, dont reach out to him again. You already did your job. Now you wait. If he replies, there you go. If he doesn't, you know where he stands.

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I am a guy, 22, and have gone on multiple dates. Regardless if I am into the girl or not, a thank you is expected. I have had girls that thanked me and ones that did not. Even if I was into the girl and she did not thank me, I cut it off right there. Its common decency and tells a lot about someone.

 

Now with the guy reading it and not responding, RELAX. Give him some time. If he does not get back to you by tomorrow, thats when I would say to move onto the next. (if he's purposely not responding, hes doing a good job building up your attraction for him ;) )

 

what?? I've gone out on dates with guys and thanked them in person after they dropped me off or we said goodbye, I didn't know a thank you text ALSO was expected. Gees dating is so f**king complicated these days

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So I guess if I haven't heard from him by Saturday would it be ok to text him Sunday? Be like - hey taking my dog to the park if you'd like to still hang out. You

 

If he doesn't respond, let it go. Don't chase him. The ball is in his court, let him hit it back if he's going to.

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mortensorchid

I'm not sure where I stand on texting after a first get together. There have been times that I have gone out with someone, he would contact me in a text after the first encounter the next day and he'd say "I had a good time last night, thanks", I would respond appropriately with "I did as well, thanks". And we might be texting back and forth for a few days and then ... Nothing. It seems to taper off after that. Usually I would be the one to send the last text, conversational not "I want to see you again" type of things.

 

But I do stand with the 48 Hour Rule - if you have not heard from him in the next 48 hours after the first get together, you will not hear from him again. What would be really good is if he were to call you, that means he is interested and wants to see you again. Texting is a passive form of communication, phone calls are more direct.

 

I'm waiting for him to ask to see me again, and they don't seem to after the text. Remember, communication is everything, and if the communication is bad or passive ... It won't be much.

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So I guess if I haven't heard from him by Saturday would it be ok to text him Sunday? Be like - hey taking my dog to the park if you'd like to still hang out. You

 

Cringing. Don't send that if you don't hear from him. Your "thank you" message was polite and showed enough interest. The only chasing you should do on Sunday is at the park with your dog.

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what?? I've gone out on dates with guys and thanked them in person after they dropped me off or we said goodbye, I didn't know a thank you text ALSO was expected. Gees dating is so f**king complicated these days

 

I remember when I used to have to write hand written notes to friends / relatives when they gave me presents (birthday / xmas).

 

I thanked them in person but a follow up note says so much more.

 

And yes, nowadays a text is a nice thing to send and takes you 10 seconds. Guys respond well to that. If a girl doesn't text me I assume she is selfish or not interested. It's usually one or the other.

 

It also opens the door for them to ask you out again.

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