She doesn't know I smoke weed

[Coup La-La]

I've started dating a new girl, I really like her and she has made it clear that the feeling is mutual. But here's the thing:

 

I haven't told her that I smoke weed. I smoke just about every day, and have neither the need nor desire to quit, I do well financially, don't get in trouble with the law, and it doesn't' prevent me from meeting my responsibilities. But I know a lot of women have a problem with it, even in today's world where it 's being legalized in one state after another.

 

I was thinking about waiting until after we have sex once or twice to tell her....

[Gaeta]

I was thinking about waiting until after we have sex once or twice to tell her....

 

Hoping to emotionally manipulate her I see.

 

Your smoking habit should be something you share right away on a 1st or 2nd date.

 

You like smoking pot so at least own it.

[whichwayisup]

I've started dating a new girl, I really like her and she has made it clear that the feeling is mutual. But here's the thing:

 

I haven't told her that I smoke weed. I smoke just about every day, and have neither the need nor desire to quit, I do well financially, don't get in trouble with the law, and it doesn't' prevent me from meeting my responsibilities. But I know a lot of women have a problem with it, even in today's world where it 's being legalized in one state after another.

 

I was thinking about waiting until after we have sex once or twice to tell her....

 

Until you get busted for driving when high.

 

Tell her now, it's cruel of you to hide that from her and waiting till after you've had sex. That's manipulative and dishonest.

 

You do pot, it's a big part of your life...Allow HER to decide if she wants to be with someone does pot daily.

[mikeylo]

So you want to feel that you got dumped after using her ? Duh !

[Redhead14]

I've started dating a new girl, I really like her and she has made it clear that the feeling is mutual. But here's the thing:

 

I haven't told her that I smoke weed. I smoke just about every day, and have neither the need nor desire to quit, I do well financially, don't get in trouble with the law, and it doesn't' prevent me from meeting my responsibilities. But I know a lot of women have a problem with it, even in today's world where it 's being legalized in one state after another.

 

I was thinking about waiting until after we have sex once or twice to tell her....

 

Of course, you should get sex from her at least once before you give her information that may cause her to stop wanting to see you . . . UGH. This is a manipulative thought process. "I'd better get sex from her now in case she bails". Paleeze. Or, if you're thinking that by having sex with her she will become so attached as to possibly overlook that if she would have normally been opposed to it, that's not cool either.

[CommittedToThis]

I agree with the others that you should tell her you're a dope smoker, for all you know maybe she is, too. But since it's something you enjoy (I know you don't operate heavy machinery when stoned) I would flat-out tell her, "Hey, I'm a daily dope smoker and I have no plans to give it up. You wanna hit?"

 

As Gaeta said, own it, no shame in your game.

[IfonlyIknew]

I don't smoke weed and dated men that have. I only *cared* if the smell got in my car or house. One guy tried to keep it from me and smoked a lot less when he met me, I realized he was very short wired then one day he was completely different, I'm like whatever you did keep doing.. it was weed he confessed and was relieved Lol.

[whichwayisup]

But I know a lot of women have a problem with it,

 

Pretty sure a lot of men would have a problem with it too. Doubtful MOST men are pleased that a new gf is doing pot daily. Don't make this a gender issue, it's NOT. The issue is this is your life style and you're afraid to tell the truth to someone you could have a relationship with. Own it as someone else has said. It's a big part of who you are, so the sooner you tell her the truth the better off you'll both be. Who knows, maybe she is a pot smoker too.

[carhill]

Barring the legal aspects, I see it the same as any other habit/vice. Do what you do and she'll react how she'll react. Would you hide drinking or smoking tobacco, as equivalent habits? Sure, you can. People do.

 

IMO, if you date while buzzed, or smoke when you otherwise would anyway, that's being authentic and a person who's on the same page won't care nor judge you. If they're not on the same page, cool, on to the next one.

 

Been awhile but the last time I was approached to get high was after a nice foot rub where the lady, who I knew fairly well but apparently not that well, invited me to 'get high' with her. Eh, yeah, that sounds tempting but after the prior contact I declined, mainly because she was married. Tempted though. That short term male thing.... up to you OP.

[Coup La-La]

Let's put things into perspective: while dating and in the early stages of a relationship, just about everything we say or show is with the aim of displaying ourselves in the best light possible. Very few people say upfront "I have a bad relationship with my parents", "I have insecurities about being cheated on", "Everything I'm wearing was purchased this morning and will be returned tomorrow"

 

I smoke everyday, but I not the stereotypical stoner, most people are very surprised when they find out I smoke. On one occasion my ex-GFs mother found my stash, that was in a Rx bottle with my name on it. She went up to my ex and yelled at her for being so selfish as to put her drugs in my Rx bottle, refusing to believe that the weed was actually mine.

[Coup La-La]

IMO, if you date while buzzed, or smoke when you otherwise would anyway, that's being authentic and a person who's on the same page won't care nor judge you.

 

That is a good point to bring up "I've been stoned the whole time you've known me".