S7182 Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 months, I'm 15 and he's 16. I'm a person with anxiety and The first month and a half was great, I felt so cared about and loved. But then one day the attention started fading, we started talking less, and he wouldn't even call me on the phone. He says he's too busy with basketball, all the time, and he doesn't have a minute of free time. But this is such a huge difference, from the guy who would ask to call me everyday, who I never had a doubt about, and who always wanted to spend time with me. I've gotten upset over it a few times, because I really feel like he's not putting in the effort he could be and he always turns it around on me and I feel horrible and start apologizing. He used to be so caring and understanding when I was upset, but I'm not happy anymore and I don't know what to do. Last Friday he blew off our plans and Saturday he stayed over a lot less than he could've. Saturday night after he left I called him upset (even tho we had just had a good time together) because I still felt things were different. We fought and worked it out and everything was fine until last night. I had barely spoken to him all day which was really out of the ordinary and it kept building up and I watched some video another girl posted of him and that made me more jealous than normal and I exploded on him for it because I just felt like he didn't care to put in the effort anymore. It turned out he was just at basketball but there was no way of me knowing that, I felt so bad but it was too late this time. He started saying things like "maybe I should just quit basketball and tell my friends not to post things with me in it anymore" and "you're mad at me? I didn't make you this way" and I just kept apologizing and apologizing because we've had this argument many times and he finally went to bed but I barely slept. When I woke up he had texted me like normal but we had lost this bestfriend thing on app we've had since we started dating (it's hard to explain but basically it means we talk to eachother the most) so I thought it really wasn't normal and I tried saying something but he just got really mad and I told him I'm going to change and not be like this anymore and basically after us trying to talk like normal it didn't seem ok so I asked him if he wanted to take the day and we'll just talk tonight. He said yeah and that he needs some time to himself after last night and this morning. I'm so scared I messed this up and he probably thinks I'm crazy. I don't know what to do and I don't know if we're going to make it, please if anyone has advice...
Philosoraptor Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Ah, young relationships. So full of drama that you won't even remember as you get more life experience. Just take it easy and try to enjoy life at this point. If you want to be less clingy, then you need to learn to focus on yourself more. Join groups, find hobbies, and just focus on making yourself happy. Relationships will come and go until you find the right person, but no one can take away your happiness and ability to be content other than yourself. 3
eightytwenty Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 This is the advice I would give to myself at 16. *Boys are just that, boys. *You need to start learning yourself *Enjoy hobbies, start looking forward to college, the most fun/and hardest studying you'll do * You really think you're grown, in 10 years you'll realize how un-grown you were. * Don't worry about relationships, you'll have more. Sometimes you'll go a year(s) without one, or a week between. Enjoy life and take things as they come.
clia Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 months, I'm 15 and he's 16. I'm a person with anxiety and The first month and a half was great, I felt so cared about and loved. But then one day the attention started fading, we started talking less, and he wouldn't even call me on the phone. He says he's too busy with basketball, all the time, and he doesn't have a minute of free time. But this is such a huge difference, from the guy who would ask to call me everyday, who I never had a doubt about, and who always wanted to spend time with me. I've gotten upset over it a few times, because I really feel like he's not putting in the effort he could be and he always turns it around on me and I feel horrible and start apologizing. He used to be so caring and understanding when I was upset, but I'm not happy anymore and I don't know what to do. Last Friday he blew off our plans and Saturday he stayed over a lot less than he could've. Saturday night after he left I called him upset (even tho we had just had a good time together) because I still felt things were different. We fought and worked it out and everything was fine until last night. I had barely spoken to him all day which was really out of the ordinary and it kept building up and I watched some video another girl posted of him and that made me more jealous than normal and I exploded on him for it because I just felt like he didn't care to put in the effort anymore. It turned out he was just at basketball but there was no way of me knowing that, I felt so bad but it was too late this time. He started saying things like "maybe I should just quit basketball and tell my friends not to post things with me in it anymore" and "you're mad at me? I didn't make you this way" and I just kept apologizing and apologizing because we've had this argument many times and he finally went to bed but I barely slept. When I woke up he had texted me like normal but we had lost this bestfriend thing on app we've had since we started dating (it's hard to explain but basically it means we talk to eachother the most) so I thought it really wasn't normal and I tried saying something but he just got really mad and I told him I'm going to change and not be like this anymore and basically after us trying to talk like normal it didn't seem ok so I asked him if he wanted to take the day and we'll just talk tonight. He said yeah and that he needs some time to himself after last night and this morning. I'm so scared I messed this up and he probably thinks I'm crazy. I don't know what to do and I don't know if we're going to make it, please if anyone has advice... When you aren't happy in a relationship anymore, you end it. Why are you trying to hold on to a guy who isn't giving you what you want? Move on and find someone better.
Miss Peach Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 I know this is hard sometimes to do in practice but one of the things I wish I had known younger is that you can't control the outcome. Someone will want to be with you or they won't. There's nothing you can control other than your own behavior. Men are really attracted to a woman to have her life together. Don't be afraid to be busy and have your own thing going on with hobbies and friends.
wheream_i Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 This is the advice I would give to myself at 16. *You need to start learning yourself* Maybe she needs to learn about how not to be so clingy so in 10 years she won't be going through a string of men having told her the exact same thing. Clingy is the worst.
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