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When to get physical?

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Old 4th April 2005, 11:09 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6
When to get physical?

No, I don't mean "physical" as in sex...

But, I'm a 21 year-old male in college, and have never been in a relationship before (never mind sex!). There's this girl I like. She's cute, she's friendly and funny, I like her, suffice to say. I've gone "out" with her once, but it was just dinner (not even movie). I would like to pursue the relationship a bit further, officially going out on dates. I think I'll be fine with that. What I'm not sure about is the physical representation of this. You see, I'm quite shy. I know a lot of girls hug girls, or hold their hands, even when they're not dating per se, but I'm just not that kind a guy. I give girls their space. But obviously, it sounds silly and corny, I want to start holding my date's hand! How should I begin?

I've thought of something simple, it's still kinda winter in the midwest, maybe at our next dinner, i'll help take her coat off... it seems silly, but i think it's a good start. any thoughts?
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Old 5th April 2005, 12:20 AM   #2
Join Date: Jan 2005
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hello stratagem09,

I think it is important to be 'physical' as you put to, towards your date. If you don't touch her - hold her hand, hug her etc, she may not see you as a potential new boyfriend, but just as someone fun to hang out with.

At the end of the night you could try telling her that you had a loverly time and give her a hug goodnight (and maybe a kiss too, depending how well she responds to the hug).

Seeing as its winter, if she is looking cold on the way home, this could be a good oppertunity to your arm around her shoulders.

there are lots of times that you could hhold her hand too. You should try and make it seem sponateous and if you are about to dash across a busy road, you could grab her hand and run together (yep i'm one of those annoying people that run out in front of cars..on second thoughts getting your date squished is probably not a good idea). You could grab her hand if you are trying to get through a crowd. You get the idea

You could also try simple things like touching her arm when you are talking, or perhaps a playful kind push if she is being silly or cheeky

Hope this helps
glitter_bug is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th April 2005, 4:54 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jan 2005
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This is really cute.

Good ideas!

The helping her off with her coat is a good one!

I think it is sweet that you give a girl her space.

...Just make sure she knows you like her!
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Old 6th April 2005, 2:25 AM   #4
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 28
I had gone to the movies with a guy once, he noticed that I kept wringing/rubbing my hands (theatres can get chilly) so he warmed up my hands for me and then held them. It was a nice gesture and not too forward, so I would give little things like that a try.
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