His best friend doesn't want us to be together

[sweetiepie05]

I'm dating (well was dating) this guy who has a female best friend. I didn't meet her until about 4 months into dating him. Me and her got along really good at first, then things went bad and he cut me off.

 

Me and her hit it off and started hanging out almost every day after we met. She is 8 years younger than me and him, so we considered her a "little sister".

 

Her and her boyfriend broke up and she needed somewhere to stay. She was living with my guy at first but I let her stay with me for a couple months. I go out a lot and I'd take her with me and we had tons of fun. Then she got a new boyfriend and I OK'd for him to come over some days.

 

Some days turned into every day. Then I got a letter from my landlord saying I could not renew my lease because I had people living with me (that was a violation of my lease). They gave me a 60 day notice to move out.

 

Pissed off I texted her that she (and her boyfriend) had to leave. I got home from work and their stuff was gone and she left the key. She wanted an explanation as to why I wanted them gone (she gave me $60 towards the rent, she felt like she was paying rent and deserved to stay). I didn't tell her why because I was so mad I had to move because of them.

 

In her rage she told the guy I was dating (her best friend) some lies about me. That I am talking to so many guys and I'd have guys over all the time, I slept with different guys etc.

 

So he believes her and hasn't said two words to me in weeks. The last we talked he was going off on me and told me I can sleep with whoever, just leave him alone. Then he began ignoring me. Didn't even give me a chance to defend myself.

 

Side note: Me and him were not in a relationship. He gave me the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line so I did talk to other guys. Apparently he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Not be with me, but didn't want me with anyone else. But now he believes her lies and cut me off. I feel terrible! There's nothing I can do but give him time I guess??

 

The only thing I did wrong was let her stay with me. Now I'm the bad guy. Now I have to move and will they help me like I helped them? Nope. I did send her an email apologizing that I put them out with no warning and that I was angry. She hasn't responded to that but I feel like the bigger person. This whole situation sucks to me.

[JewelD]

You made several poor choices in this situation. Dating a guy with his best female friend living with him. Mistake number one.

 

Thinking that your friendship with this girl would not impact your relationship with the guy. Mistake number two.

 

Allowing these people to move into your apartment in the first place. Mistake number 3.

 

Still wanting some type of relationship with this guy who is clearly easily manipulated by his female best friend. Mistake number four.

 

You really can't be mad at them at all for overstaying their welcome when you didn't say anything about it until it was too late. The friend would have had a time limit on how long she was going to be staying and her boyfriend would not have been an option to move in at all.

 

I mean, how well did she even know this new boyfriend? How well did you know him? They both could have robbed you blind or worse.

 

I think you are better off stepping away from this entire situation and all of the people involved.

[mavendark]

If he doesn't even want a relationship with you, then maybe you didn't lose out that much after all.

 

I think maybe you could've communicated to her straight from the beginning about why you were upset (that you were getting kicked out of your house) so that she knew what was the issue to begin with. Maybe she got the wrong idea from your initial text?

 

Either way, what's done is done, and I'm sorry you had to go through the whole moving thing. That really sucks. If he is going to believe her lies then he's going to be on her side anyway, which means he probably just doesn't care about you enough to begin with.

[kmack513]

If the guy is so weak minded that he believed the other girl without even considering your story, good riddance.

[ExpatInItaly]

I think he may have been looking for a way to cut things off with you, and this was his opportunity.

 

In the end, who cares what he thinks? He told you he didn't want a relationship so it's tough tatas for him if you're talking to other guys. If he'd wanted you for himself, he could have made that happen. He didn't.

 

I'd say forget the both of them. But I also feel your anger at his female friend about your apartment was completely misdirected. It's not her fault that you agreed to let her and her boyfriend stay at your house. You were trying to be nice, I get that. But you could have said "no" at any time. Did you not realize that most landlords won't allow undeclared tenants?

[smackie9]

You only did one thing wrong??? seriously? You did a lot wrong. You didn't take responsibility for YOUR F'ups....yes your F'ups. It was you who started this chain reaction by acting out.......so, OWN IT!

 

Why the hell would they help you when you acted like a d-bag and went all cray cray.

 

The only person that you should be pissed off at is YOU.

 

As for this guy you were dating....if he can't figure out that his little friend is lying because she got butt hurt over being kicked out....he's not so bright and a waste of time. He has written you off. I say good riddance to him.