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I had 5 great dates with her, now things seem so odd....


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Posted

I met her online, we are from a conservative culture.

 

We went out on 5 dates, she touches me alot, bumps into me while walking, compliments me, initiate texts.. etc. We did different activities. She told me beforehand that she is going to be busy as she is going to start her master degree part time while working full time, especially for an upcoming group project.

 

As school starts, when I ask her out, she told me she would let me know when she is free, then later we went out again for out 5th date, she is still as interested as before. She initiated text after the date. We still text and she seem interested in texts.

 

Later, her project starts, I asked her out, she told me she would let me know when she is available.

 

Towards the end of her project, she texted me happy birthday, we text for a bit and she still seem interested. So I ask her have she found out when she is free.

Me: So have you found out when u are free? I will make plan

She: Are weekdays good for u next week?

Me: What about monday?

She: For XXX reason, I cant do monday, is tues good for you?

Me: Sure, lets meet at xxx at xxx?

Then no response , the next day, I saw her went out with her friends on facebook, still no response, I text her at night saying the food at xxx is good. Still no response.

 

I feel really confused, why would she suggest a counter-offer date and then disappeared?

:confused:

Posted

Give her some space. She probably hasn't been able to see her friends for awhile, and wanted to have some fun time with them. She has her own life to live too.

 

If you don't hear from her, that would mean she changed her mind and doesn't want to continue dating you. Doesn't matter if the dates go well, it never guarantees you a GF.

  • Like 1
Posted

Could be anything...

 

Plans change and so do people's minds.

 

It is kind of hard to compete with a Masters' Program. If you have been on Five dates and this happened, well, just accept it and move on.If she has time maybe she will contact you. I would not count on it though. Best to move on and not lament.

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Posted

But isnt it so disrespectful of her to not respond? After all, she suggest and ask if Tues is workable for me... If she can't make it, or have changed her mind, she could have just let me know about it, and not kept me waiting like this....

Posted

So is it for this Tuesday coming up? If so relax it's only Sunday.

  • Author
Posted
So is it for this Tuesday coming up? If so relax it's only Sunday.

 

yes it is. just so odd and confusing of her

Posted

Tuesday isn't here yet, so you have nothing to be worried about. If you get all weird and start texting her you are only being clingy......don't go there. Go out with some friends, post it on FB so she knows you are not sitting there waiting for your phone to ring.

 

See ya back here on Tuesday or Wednesday.

Posted

She said she is only available weekdays, Monday too is out....for a reason...she is busy, she has stuff to do, she warned you of this. Tuesday....contact her then.

  • Author
Posted
She said she is only available weekdays, Monday too is out....for a reason...she is busy, she has stuff to do, she warned you of this. Tuesday....contact her then.

 

She said as Tuesday will be her last day of work for her company, she is going to spend Monday to make cookies to be brought back to her colleagues on Tuesday. Her new job will start the next Monday

Posted
She said as Tuesday will be her last day of work for her company, she is going to spend Monday to make cookies to be brought back to her colleagues on Tuesday. Her new job will start the next Monday

OK so.......she has kept you informed what's happening with her....she sounds like she is busy. I don't see any disrespect at all. Give her some space to do her own thing here.

Posted
She said as Tuesday will be her last day of work for her company, she is going to spend Monday to make cookies to be brought back to her colleagues on Tuesday. Her new job will start the next Monday

 

 

Marxman,

 

Please dial the insecurity back a notch.

 

Stage 4 Clinger makes for a good movie of the week, in real life not so much. Women do not like that one bit.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted
Marxman,

 

Please dial the insecurity back a notch.

 

Stage 4 Clinger makes for a good movie of the week, in real life not so much. Women do not like that one bit.

 

Was I being clingy at this point? Because I was asking her if the time and place to meet up is ok for her, if she couldn't be sure about it, she could have told me about the difficulty and tell me she will confirm me later.... but she just left it there..

Posted
But isnt it so disrespectful of her to not respond? After all, she suggest and ask if Tues is workable for me... If she can't make it, or have changed her mind, she could have just let me know about it, and not kept me waiting like this....

 

It totally is and it's called passive-aggressive behavior. I hate it when people do that to me, and you know what I do? I take my power back and remove those people from my life who continually do it. Now, if someone does it once or twice or something, that's one thing, but usually those people do stuff like that all the time. It could also be that they're that self absorbed that they can't think about anything else but themselves.

  • Author
Posted
It totally is and it's called passive-aggressive behavior. I hate it when people do that to me, and you know what I do? I take my power back and remove those people from my life who continually do it. Now, if someone does it once or twice or something, that's one thing, but usually those people do stuff like that all the time. It could also be that they're that self absorbed that they can't think about anything else but themselves.

What do you mean by passive-aggressive behaviour?

Posted

It's not passive aggressive, not even remotely.

 

It's just a lack of interest. She's not that interested in you. Move on.

  • Like 1
Posted

Move on with your life. If she is interested, she will let you know. You asked her out. You did your part. Now it is up to her. Act like she will not contact you again. If she does, THEN address the issue.

Posted

May I suggest a brand new technology which can help you with this. This technology was developed just recently - CALL HER!

 

You havn't thought about that, ha? Call her and ask her about tuesday. A simple phone call. Do you know how many times I was sure I texted back, but then it turned out that i forgot? Millions...

  • Author
Posted

Ok, heres the update:

 

So she text me back early this morning

 

She said the food I suggest looks good haha and ask if we are gonna have it on tuesday.

 

I told her yes, see you at 8!

 

I didn't bring up anything about her responding so slowly, or should I?

Posted

I didn't bring up anything about her responding so slowly, or should I?

 

No! :)

 

If you must, do it face to face.

Posted
Ok, heres the update:

 

So she text me back early this morning

 

She said the food I suggest looks good haha and ask if we are gonna have it on tuesday.

 

I told her yes, see you at 8!

 

I didn't bring up anything about her responding so slowly, or should I?

 

How long did it take her to respond?

 

I also think she is starting to lose interest. It happens. Dating is for that, you meet someone and see if you have a growing interest and if not you let it go. Some let it go slowly and others like to end it abruptly.

 

All I know is when I liked a guy my eyes didn't leave my phone and if he text me I'd move mountain to reply to him. I would have done anything so he doesn't think I am losing interest.

 

Don't say anything to her about her late reply. Just let it unfold on its own. If she losing interest you will get fed up and it won't go anywhere, It will resolve itself on its own.

Posted (edited)
Was I being clingy at this point? Because I was asking her if the time and place to meet up is ok for her, if she couldn't be sure about it, she could have told me about the difficulty and tell me she will confirm me later.... but she just left it there..

 

It was not clingy to try to firm up the plans -- once. But if you are now sitting there stressing out, etc., you are being clingy in "spirit" so to speak. The ball is in her court. Wait it out. If she doesn't respond by tonight, you make other plans for yourself and keep moving.

 

I'm adding this now because I posted before I saw your update . . . do not mention the slow response. Go out and have a good time and if you like her enough, ask her for another date at the end of this one and be specific. "Hey, I really had a great time today. How about we go out again on Xday at Xtime (a couple of days away, not the next day) and observe again.

Edited by Redhead14
  • Author
Posted
How long did it take her to respond?

Could it be that she is playing hard to get? it took her a little over a day to respond to that text.

 

Actually,a few days ago, she usually respond anywhere from 10mins to a few an hour or so, and if I send her a text late at night, she would respond really early the next morning.

 

Then there was one time where she send me something late at night, I was already asleep, then the next day I didnt respond during the morning, not until I got off work at night ( I told her that I finally got off work in that text). Would this be the trigger for the long response? maybe I am thinking too much tho

Posted
Ok, heres the update:

 

So she text me back early this morning

 

She said the food I suggest looks good haha and ask if we are gonna have it on tuesday.

 

I told her yes, see you at 8!

 

I didn't bring up anything about her responding so slowly, or should I?

Was I right or what? You worried for nothing. You say nothing unless you want to shoot yourself in the foot.

Posted
Could it be that she is playing hard to get? it took her a little over a day to respond to that text.

 

Actually,a few days ago, she usually respond anywhere from 10mins to a few an hour or so, and if I send her a text late at night, she would respond really early the next morning.

 

Then there was one time where she send me something late at night, I was already asleep, then the next day I didnt respond during the morning, not until I got off work at night ( I told her that I finally got off work in that text). Would this be the trigger for the long response? maybe I am thinking too much tho

 

LOL maybe that was the trigger, I've done that before when I took a while to respond and then they started doing the same. I've seen with my own eyes how my female friends (young girls) go stage 5 mad at that and they take a long time to reply back lol it's all bs, goddamn stupid texting games.

  • Author
Posted
Was I right or what? You worried for nothing. You say nothing unless you want to shoot yourself in the foot.

 

You were right!

It has been a roller coaster ride..

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