Guy on OLD - do you want to see what its like getting too much contact and attention?

[joseb]

So a lot of the posts on here about OLD from a guys side are complaints about how they send out 100s of messages and get few, if any, responses.

Or if they are on Tinder, how they swipe till their finger is numb before getting a lousy match.

On the flip-side, women complain about crappy messages or how to find a decent guy from all the fluff and attention.

 

I was curious to see what that was like.

 

No, I didn't set up a fake female profile - I don't think as a hetro guy getting lots of male attention would do much for me.

 

Instead, on on a whim, I clicked on one of the many ads I see pop up for xCupid (fill in your country, usually in asia) website, and set up a basic profile.

 

Within minutes my email was zinging with messages. I was getting liked, favourited and messaged from all kinds of women, young old, average and stunning. Now I'm sure a fair number of these must be scammers or working girls. But I don't think they all were, by any means.

 

Sure, they may be looking for a guy to provide for them financially, but hey, is that all that different than a lot of western women anyway.

 

If you are a tinder user, you can try something similar by getting Tinder plus, which lets you set you location to anywhere. I gave this a shot too, and the results were equally dramatic. In this case, I was matching with almost 50% of my swipes (as opposed to about 2% in my home location).

 

I didn't really pursue it too much, as I'm not sure I'm comfortable going down that path. But as an exercise in seeing what too many messages and too much attention and options is like, I found it useful.

 

I could totally see how people would get blase about it all, and only respond to the really attractive profiles, given so many options.

 

So if you're curious, guys, give it a shot. Just be careful not to get your ego stroked too much, as when you come back home to earth it's a little dis-heartning!

[4x4storm]

Great post mate i'm gonna give that tinder location thing a go now

 

Like i've said in other threads with how differently men and women think throwing them into the online dating pool is gonna cause trouble. At the end of the day I think what upsets most guys is they take all advice that there is to give they apply it to their Online Dating profile and it get's them no further.

 

I think women need to stop bsing around and admit looks come in at number #1. I had a friend last week who I will admit is a very good looking guy show me his tinder to no surprise the guy had 60+ matches his matches were filled with women wanting to come over and offer him sex.

 

I then showed him my tinder with my 12 matches half of them never replied to my first message the other half want nothing more then a online friend and refused to meet me.

[TunaInTheBrine]

 

I think women need to stop bsing around and admit looks come in at number #1. I had a friend last week who I will admit is a very good looking guy show me his tinder to no surprise the guy had 60+ matches his matches were filled with women wanting to come over and offer him sex.

 

.

 

When you're dealing with OLD, then yes, looks are #1. When you meet people offline, there's a lot more flexibility (for men, anyway).

 

It also depends on people's motivations. Those whose #1 motivation is sex (read: online dating/hookup apps) are going to think about the superficial aspects of the attraction. Those who are looking for something deeper and more meaningful, again...more flexibility.

 

There's a difference between being good looking and being attractive. Lots of good looking guys CANNOT get women, and some of the most greatest womanizers in the world were/are hideous looking men. Men are attracted through the eyes, and women are attracted through the ears. Casanova knew this.

[insert_name]

When you're dealing with OLD, then yes, looks are #1. When you meet people offline, there's a lot more flexibility (for men, anyway).

 

It also depends on people's motivations. Those whose #1 motivation is sex (read: online dating/hookup apps) are going to think about the superficial aspects of the attraction. Those who are looking for something deeper and more meaningful, again...more flexibility.

 

There's a difference between being good looking and being attractive. Lots of good looking guys CANNOT get women, and some of the most greatest womanizers in the world were/are hideous looking men. Men are attracted through the eyes, and women are attracted through the ears. Casanova knew this.

 

Studies have gone some way to suggest this too. It is all obvious stuff really.

 

Mating strategy is the first obstacle- if the girl is just after sex the studies have indicated that physical attractiveness matters most. Even if they are after more than that first impressions are based on physical attraction. A study on speed dating found that at the end of the 3 minute rounds the most physically attractive males were still the most attractive to the women. Other studies have found that over the course of a longer interaction looks start to matter less and a man's personality starts to affect the woman's perception of him. Conversely the same is rarely true for men who are pretty much focussed on looks at all times.

 

This is from a book called 'mating intelligence', a data analysis of a large range of studies on mating scenarios. Interesting read....

[leogirl876]

 

So true and men seem to forget this today, and maybe there's lot of women out there too. I've heard a guy's biggest fear is the woman they meet will look nothing like her picture and weigh 50 lbs heavier, as a woman, I can say what does it for me is how a guy talks to me and makes me feel. If I don't feel like he's into me, and asking me questions then I lose interest. There needs to be an emotional connection for me, and it seems men on OLD are so interested in selling themselves and telling me how awesome they are instead of letting me figure that out on my own. It just bores me when a guy does that, or the guys that say I'll call you tonight over & over and never live up to their word. So annoying and next!!!!

[SwordofFlame]

Hmm...maybe those struggling guys with good careers should seriously consider mail order brides?

[Ami1uwant]

Hmm...maybe those struggling guys with good careers should seriously consider mail order brides?

 

 

Why not ?......

 

About 10-15 years ago online dating was a new thing so only those serious were using it, thus you got more success. But now more people who are using it are doing it but they don't have the seriousness about it.

[TunaInTheBrine]

So true and men seem to forget this today, and maybe there's lot of women out there too. I've heard a guy's biggest fear is the woman they meet will look nothing like her picture and weigh 50 lbs heavier, as a woman, I can say what does it for me is how a guy talks to me and makes me feel. If I don't feel like he's into me, and asking me questions then I lose interest. There needs to be an emotional connection for me, and it seems men on OLD are so interested in selling themselves and telling me how awesome they are instead of letting me figure that out on my own. It just bores me when a guy does that, or the guys that say I'll call you tonight over & over and never live up to their word. So annoying and next!!!!

 

 

Are you the goddess, leogirl?

 

Funny video, but he has a few points that are very attractive: "I'm not going to talk about myself; I'm going to talk about you [...] It's time for us to stop talking about ourselves and start talking to each other [...] and that's sexy and hot."

[leogirl876]

 

Are you the goddess, leogirl?

 

Funny video, but he has a few points that are very attractive: "I'm not going to talk about myself; I'm going to talk about you [...] It's time for us to stop talking about ourselves and start talking to each other [...] and that's sexy and hot."

 

Haha, no, I don't think I'm a goddess. I just think it's annoying to go on a date or two with a guy and they monopolize the entire conversation. When I start to say something about myself or tell them a story, somehow they bring the conversation back to them. Or if I do get a word in, the then act bored.

 

But I will check out your video. Perhaps I'm missing something on these dates...

[Redhead14]

So a lot of the posts on here about OLD from a guys side are complaints about how they send out 100s of messages and get few, if any, responses.

Or if they are on Tinder, how they swipe till their finger is numb before getting a lousy match.

On the flip-side, women complain about crappy messages or how to find a decent guy from all the fluff and attention.

 

I was curious to see what that was like.

 

No, I didn't set up a fake female profile - I don't think as a hetro guy getting lots of male attention would do much for me.

 

Instead, on on a whim, I clicked on one of the many ads I see pop up for xCupid (fill in your country, usually in asia) website, and set up a basic profile.

 

Within minutes my email was zinging with messages. I was getting liked, favourited and messaged from all kinds of women, young old, average and stunning. Now I'm sure a fair number of these must be scammers or working girls. But I don't think they all were, by any means.

 

Sure, they may be looking for a guy to provide for them financially, but hey, is that all that different than a lot of western women anyway.

 

If you are a tinder user, you can try something similar by getting Tinder plus, which lets you set you location to anywhere. I gave this a shot too, and the results were equally dramatic. In this case, I was matching with almost 50% of my swipes (as opposed to about 2% in my home location).

 

I didn't really pursue it too much, as I'm not sure I'm comfortable going down that path. But as an exercise in seeing what too many messages and too much attention and options is like, I found it useful.

 

I could totally see how people would get blase about it all, and only respond to the really attractive profiles, given so many options.

 

So if you're curious, guys, give it a shot. Just be careful not to get your ego stroked too much, as when you come back home to earth it's a little dis-heartning!

 

When I tried OLD, it's was on a, let's say, more "relationship oriented" site, supposedly. I got tons of messages, winks, emails. Most of them were from guys whose profiles had pictures that were "too good to be true". I mean, model-type photos, etc. And, when any of them actually sent me an email, the emails were full of typos, grammatical errors and language that was over the top -- your smile made my heart leap for joy. God has blessed the earth . . . They turned me off altogether and I questioned the validity of the profile, etc. Or, the guys lived hundreds even thousands of miles away . . . that's BS. Either they've burned all their local bridges, are hiding it from their wives or girlfriends or are so friggin desperate that they will try anything to get laid . . . or are afraid of commitment or insecure, whatever, so it's easier to have an LDR and live in their "fantasy world" relationship.

 

Not only that, oftentimes, I would get a wink or a mssg and then found that the profile was not active . . . yeah, sometimes peeps take them down, but my suspicion was that the site administrators send out "feelers", fodder to stroke the go of their clients and keep them coming to the site. Maybe there's something to that in the sense that it might keep you checking and searching and perhaps find someone which in turn would boost the sites "rating".

 

I didn't stay with it long and didn't need to . . .

[joseb]

 

Not only that, oftentimes, I would get a wink or a mssg and then found that the profile was not active . . . yeah, sometimes peeps take them down, but my suspicion was that the site administrators send out "feelers", fodder to stroke the go of their clients and keep them coming to the site. Maybe there's something to that in the sense that it might keep you checking and searching and perhaps find someone which in turn would boost the sites "rating".

 

I didn't stay with it long and didn't need to . . .

 

Oh I totally assumed that there were a lot of fodder ones - I mean it's a bit unbelievable that hot 19 yo women in bikinis would be messaging me:)

 

And I'd say there are probably a fair few scammers too, the site I used even had warnings about it on every page, so it must be a problem!

 

So yeah, maybe 'only' 30 or so messages a day were genuine - still a couple of hundred times more than I got locally.

 

I found the Tinder experience to be more enlightening, and more believable.

I started chatting to a few of them, and some seem really nice, intelligent and genuine.

 

 

I can say what does it for me is how a guy talks to me and makes me feel. If I don't feel like he's into me, and asking me questions then I lose interest. There needs to be an emotional connection for me

 

Yeah but you don't know how he talks to you unless you match him for starters, and then agree to meet him. I don't really think online communication is all that much of an indication as to how you are going to feel in someones presence.

[Redhead14]

Oh I totally assumed that there were a lot of fodder ones - I mean it's a bit unbelievable that hot 19 yo women in bikinis would be messaging me:)

 

And I'd say there are probably a fair few scammers too, the site I used even had warnings about it on every page, so it must be a problem!

 

So yeah, maybe 'only' 30 or so messages a day were genuine - still a couple of hundred times more than I got locally.

 

I found the Tinder experience to be more enlightening, and more believable.

I started chatting to a few of them, and some seem really nice, intelligent and genuine.

 

 

 

 

Yeah but you don't know how he talks to you unless you match him for starters, and then agree to meet him. I don't really think online communication is all that much of an indication as to how you are going to feel in someones presence.

 

Joseb, if your avatar says anything about you , if I were 19, I'd be messaging the hell out of you Hell, if I were single now, I'd be messaging you. No bikini, but maybe a little, classy teddy or bustier . . .

 

But to the comment you made regarding being in someone's presence . . . I always felt it was a waste of time to just message back and forth for too long . . . a few times and then just take the leap to set up a short, public meet up.

[JuanDelToro]

Well, if you pay of course you'll get a little more attention because you'll rank better in the service showing up in more search results and to real people.

It's trialed and tested with Tinder as well. Get Tinder plus and your profile goes up top straight away. With the free version you'll be at the bottom, someone has to swipe hundreds of other profiles before getting to you and you have to swipe hundreds of fake profiles.

 

I solved this issue with Tinder with an autoliker and i use to get 20-30 matches a day. I wasn't interested in 99% of the matches, but a few were good matches.

 

Every single time i paid for OLD i did very well, especially with E.S and A.M. When i tried for free, it was a waste of time.

 

Overall OLD is waste of time and money and it can be very frustrating for men. I prefer traditional methods of approaching women. It's a lot more fun and productive.

[joseb]

Well, if you pay of course you'll get a little more attention because you'll rank better in the service showing up in more search results and to real people.

It's trialed and tested with Tinder as well. Get Tinder plus and your profile goes up top straight away. With the free version you'll be at the bottom, someone has to swipe hundreds of other profiles before getting to you and you have to swipe hundreds of fake profiles.

 

I solved this issue with Tinder with an autoliker and i use to get 20-30 matches a day. I wasn't interested in 99% of the matches, but a few were good matches.

 

Every single time i paid for OLD i did very well, especially with E.S and A.M. When i tried for free, it was a waste of time.

 

Overall OLD is waste of time and money and it can be very frustrating for men. I prefer traditional methods of approaching women. It's a lot more fun and productive.

 

Well, I would say there is something in the paid verses free if it weren't for one thing...since I got it, I have had a whopping total of new matches in my city of....one! That's despite being no more picky than when using it in another location (probably less picky). With at least a couple of hundred swipes. If anything, my hit % has gone down.

 

Agree with you though, overall OLD is pretty much a waste of time for guys.

Real life approaching is both much more interesting and more likely to yield positive results.

[joseb]

Joseb, if your avatar says anything about you , if I were 19, I'd be messaging the hell out of you Hell, if I were single now, I'd be messaging you. No bikini, but maybe a little, classy teddy or bustier . . .

 

But to the comment you made regarding being in someone's presence . . . I always felt it was a waste of time to just message back and forth for too long . . . a few times and then just take the leap to set up a short, public meet up.

 

LOL:)

 

I agree with excessive back and forth messaging - I think it is a waste of time.

Any time I've done it a lot it just results in a pen-pal.

[phineas]

I get messages all the time on POF and OKcupid but not from women i'm interested in.

 

There was a paid site I used the MATCHed me up with a lot of married women looking to cheat.

They winked the chit out of my profile.

 

Other than that you couldn't tell who could or couldn't communicate with you when you sent a message and the only time i really received messages was before I subscribed and after i cancelled.

 

Very strange. NOT.

 

OLD is something to do when i'm on the crapper.

If i meet someone I meet someone.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Eh, I almost completely ignore looks.

 

I go by job title. I need someone that is ambitious and has a job that's comparable to mine so that he doesn't feel emasculated.

 

I move right along past all the hot guys with s%#@ jobs.

[Redhead14]

Eh, I almost completely ignore looks.

 

I go by job title. I need someone that is ambitious and has a job that's comparable to mine so that he doesn't feel emasculated.

 

I move right along past all the hot guys with s%#@ jobs.

 

All they gotta do is chat a couple of times, write me an email or message that is intelligent, with correct grammar, isn't filled with "fluff" and BS or over the top compliments and say, "hey, let's cut the crap. It appears we have something in common. Let's meet up for a drink on X day, at X place and see if there's enough there to have a real date. If not, we were two nice people who met for a drink and went our separate ways".

 

I met a guy one time whose picture didn't do it for me but was a word smith . . . in person, he was smokin' hot and had a brain that was housed above the neck It turned out that he and I were business associates indirectly but had never met. But neither of us would potentially "sh*t" where we eat, so we didn't even think about meeting again.

 

There was another guy who seemed very intelligent, could write, but no picture. We met up and he couldn't put two sentences together with a blow torch. When I saw him, I was all like, oh, he's cute until he opened his mouth. I paid for the drinks out of pity. I thought the guy probably had someone else write for him . . . ya never know, until ya know.

[longjohn]

When I tried OLD, it's was on a, let's say, more "relationship oriented" site, supposedly. I got tons of messages, winks, emails. Most of them were from guys whose profiles had pictures that were "too good to be true". I mean, model-type photos, etc.

 

My god that sounds like Match (or something close), I was on that $hite I mean site lol. It felt like they roped you in with all this crap and once you were in reality set in.. they just wanted your money good luck find any actual people on the thing. Never used a paid for site ever since.

Edited July 18, 2016 by longjohn

[phineas]

My god that sounds like Match (or something close), I was on that $hite I mean site lol. It felt like they roped you in with all this crap and once you were in reality set in.. they just wanted your money good luck find any actual people on the thing. Never used a paid for site ever since.

 

you think hey its a pay site, maybe the women won't waste your time or ignore you because you don't meet all 25 of their check marks because they are paying.

 

Yeah the same women on pay-sites are on the free sites so why bother?

 

The hilarious thing is there were women on the pay sites that ignored me.

a yr later on the free sites, still ignoring me.

a yr after that, they go out with me.

THEN I realize why they have been online for 3 yrs straight.

 

keep in mind i would leave these sites after a few months for almost a yr.

These women were on fulltime all that time.

[S2B]

Was on match for a short while - shortly before my subscription ran out I set my profile to invisible...

 

Then just as it expired and after it did expire I kept getting email messages that my profile was viewed! It couldn't be viewed = it was invisible!

 

It's a hoax to get you to pay more! They must have a way of sending out these fake messages to get more money.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I took a year off of POF , because I exhausted my options in my area. Came back later and saw the same faces of the overly picky spinsters that already ignoredme a year ago again. I thought, would they remebe me?

 

Emailed them again, nada.

 

Guess they need to add more cats to their collection. Lol

 

 

 

So a lot of the posts on here about OLD from a guys side are complaints about how they send out 100s of messages and get few, if any, responses.

Or if they are on Tinder, how they swipe till their finger is numb before getting a lousy match.

On the flip-side, women complain about crappy messages or how to find a decent guy from all the fluff and attention.

 

I was curious to see what that was like.

 

No, I didn't set up a fake female profile - I don't think as a hetro guy getting lots of male attention would do much for me.

 

Instead, on on a whim, I clicked on one of the many ads I see pop up for xCupid (fill in your country, usually in asia) website, and set up a basic profile.

 

Within minutes my email was zinging with messages. I was getting liked, favourited and messaged from all kinds of women, young old, average and stunning. Now I'm sure a fair number of these must be scammers or working girls. But I don't think they all were, by any means.

 

Sure, they may be looking for a guy to provide for them financially, but hey, is that all that different than a lot of western women anyway.

 

If you are a tinder user, you can try something similar by getting Tinder plus, which lets you set you location to anywhere. I gave this a shot too, and the results were equally dramatic. In this case, I was matching with almost 50% of my swipes (as opposed to about 2% in my home location).

 

I didn't really pursue it too much, as I'm not sure I'm comfortable going down that path. But as an exercise in seeing what too many messages and too much attention and options is like, I found it useful.

 

I could totally see how people would get blase about it all, and only respond to the really attractive profiles, given so many options.

 

So if you're curious, guys, give it a shot. Just be careful not to get your ego stroked too much, as when you come back home to earth it's a little dis-heartning!

[longjohn]

you think hey its a pay site, maybe the women won't waste your time or ignore you because you don't meet all 25 of their check marks because they are paying.

 

Yeah the same women on pay-sites are on the free sites so why bother?

 

The hilarious thing is there were women on the pay sites that ignored me.

a yr later on the free sites, still ignoring me.

a yr after that, they go out with me.

THEN I realize why they have been online for 3 yrs straight.

 

keep in mind i would leave these sites after a few months for almost a yr.

These women were on fulltime all that time.

 

If they ignored me on the free and paid site I'll just block them so I don't stumble upon them again elsewhere. If I'm not what they want on the first rotation or two I'm not hanging about to be their last resort.

 

Now I did carry out an experiment of sorts once, I had two profiles both the exact same on different free sites only thing I changed was my income range. Guess what higher income brings. Lots of ladies that ignore you when they think you make half of what you do and exactly why I never list income.

 

Not all ladies were like there. There were still a few that just flat out ignored me which is fine I respect honesty. Then I block them so I don't waste my time and theirs sending another carefully crafted message and reading their long profile.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Whenever I check out ladies on OLD, most of them 30-40s seem to be high quality. Attractive, educated, good jobs. The problem is that there is no match for them on OLD. Men in that age group on the other hand...maybe 1 of 10 has a full time professional job. And they are usually players and not taking OLD seriously. The problem is that men that have their s*it together get snapped up in real life very quickly.

 

Career oriented women on the other hand are not in high demand. Men don't care about jobs, careers, living situation. They prioritize youth, looks and cooking skills. So there is a high number of career oriented older women that are unable to find anyone that even comes close to them.

 

I currently have to hide where I live because men that I meet all have 3 roommates or live at least 20kms from the city in old, run down dumps (and no, it's not because they find old houses particularly charming). The last guy I brought home tried to to borrow money from me the next day What chance do I have with them?

 

Sadly, when I lived with a flatmate for 6 months, just to see what it's like, I felt somewhat closer to men that are available. But why should I have to do that?

 

So the less I date, the more I work and the wider the gap grows.

 

It boggles my mind that men that were born in Australia, with all this opportunity; have gotten to be 40 and have done absolutely nothing with their lives.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Whenever I check out ladies on OLD, most of them 30-40s seem to be high quality. Attractive, educated, good jobs. The problem is that there is no match for them on OLD. Men in that age group on the other hand...maybe 1 of 10 has a full time professional job. And they are usually players and not taking OLD seriously. The problem is that men that have their s*it together get snapped up in real life very quickly.

 

Career oriented women on the other hand are not in high demand. Men don't care about jobs, careers, living situation. They prioritize youth, looks and cooking skills. So there is a high number of career oriented older women that are unable to find anyone that even comes close to them.

 

I currently have to hide where I live because men that I meet all have 3 roommates or live at least 20kms from the city in old, run down dumps (and no, it's not because they find old houses particularly charming). The last guy I brought home tried to to borrow money from me the next day What chance do I have with them?

 

Sadly, when I lived with a flatmate for 6 months, just to see what it's like, I felt somewhat closer to men that are available. But why should I have to do that?

 

So the less I date, the more I work and the wider the gap grows.

 

It boggles my mind that men that were born in Australia, with all this opportunity; have gotten to be 40 and have done absolutely nothing with their lives.

 

Well, to take the man's sides, if the economy isn't there and the least they wind up being under-employed, sometimes it's not their fault.

 

Though, I don't know if there are more opportunities in Australia compared to America, I think I believe you there, because I read an article that a city in New Zealand put it out there that they are looking for people in the ice and wool industry and the mayor is receiving thousands of job inquiries for that alone. Apparently, the city is even offering up house/land packages for Internationals.

 

More opportunity I'm guessing in Australia though I take it? Guess what I stated is moot

 

(You live in Australia, Eternal?) Would love to go there some day.

 

United States on the other hand, major underemployment going on, jobs are minimal pay, etc. Companies cutting back hours so they don't have to pay health benefits.