Lona.loba Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 Hello, i started dating this guy 4 months ago. we had the best relationship and we even wanted a life time together. two weeks ago we had strong conflicts and broke up. we spent a day not talking to each other. after that day we both texted each other "i love you". So we decided to get back together but he was very hostile with me. i asked him and he said it would take time for things to get back to the happy way they were. after 5 days of getting back together i felt hurt because he wasnt treating me like someone he loves so i discussed this with him and he told me in all honesty he needs space and isnt very ready to bring things the way they were so its better for us to remain friends because he really doesnt want to lose me. ok now we agreed on remaining friends but i got confused to what we were because he still showed affection and i still love him, so i asked him that and he said we are friends that have feelings for each other and through time we will see were things go and that if things go the right way at the right pace we would get back together like we first were. now whats even more confusing to me is that he shows more affection now that we are "friends" than when we got back together after the break up. like this morning he texted me to come over he misses cuddling me! i dont get this like why is he doing this? what should i do? just wait and see? thanks
Author Lona.loba Posted June 24, 2016 Author Posted June 24, 2016 he lied to me thats what made an argument but then he explained it. but when i knew about the lie i got so angry and said bad stuff i didnt really mean which affected him a lot i guess but he said very hurtful stuff to me and i forgave him.
Snow_Queen Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 This relationship is only 4 months old. Stop and think about the pain you've experienced so far. If I were you, I wouldn't play his hot/cold game and just call it a day. Do you really want to continue feeling this way or would you rather put your emotional energy elsewhere? Just think of the trouble you might have later if you're dealing with so much drama now.
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 You need to part ways and not play friends. He demoted you from girlfriend to FWB. Now he gets your affection, love, sex but does not owe you fidelity and can browse around. You are worth more than this. He takes you all or not at all. Put on your big girl panties and tell him to figure himself out on his own. Always remember he lied to you. Why in the hell would you want to be with a man that lied to you. 3
Author Lona.loba Posted June 24, 2016 Author Posted June 24, 2016 This relationship is only 4 months old. Stop and think about the pain you've experienced so far. If I were you, I wouldn't play his hot/cold game and just call it a day. Do you really want to continue feeling this way or would you rather put your emotional energy elsewhere? Just think of the trouble you might have later if you're dealing with so much drama now. I feel lost without him , the day we broke up (the time before we got back together) and we didn't talk I felt really depressed I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't want to lose him but yet I don't want to be just a friend or a fwb. Time will show :/
stillafool Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 Yes, you have officially been demoted to FWBs. 1
kendahke Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 I feel lost without him , the day we broke up (the time before we got back together) and we didn't talk I felt really depressed I couldn't stop thinking about him. I don't want to lose him but yet I don't want to be just a friend or a fwb. Time will show :/ Do you understand what "you've been demoted" means? You no longer have girlfriend status. Friends don't get to weigh in on who he decides to take on a date, spends money on or have sex with. You've lost him in that sense already because you've accepted the demotion in order to try and stay close. He has no reason at all to reconsider anything--he's in the power position. He's affectionate now, but the minute you push for girlfriend status, he's going to push back and remind you about what you've agreed to. He's got what he wants -a FWB with you where he doesn't have to answer to you. You don't... and you lowered your value out of desperation to keep him. Just sit with the overwhelming feelings of him not being in a your life for a few days and cry it out. Then get on with your life. Find a man who doesn't lie then turns around and punishes you for not putting up with his lies. The sex cannot be that great that you sell your own self worth and esteem down the river. 2
Redhead14 Posted June 24, 2016 Posted June 24, 2016 Hello, i started dating this guy 4 months ago. we had the best relationship and we even wanted a life time together. two weeks ago we had strong conflicts and broke up. we spent a day not talking to each other. after that day we both texted each other "i love you". So we decided to get back together but he was very hostile with me. i asked him and he said it would take time for things to get back to the happy way they were. after 5 days of getting back together i felt hurt because he wasnt treating me like someone he loves so i discussed this with him and he told me in all honesty he needs space and isnt very ready to bring things the way they were so its better for us to remain friends because he really doesnt want to lose me. ok now we agreed on remaining friends but i got confused to what we were because he still showed affection and i still love him, so i asked him that and he said we are friends that have feelings for each other and through time we will see were things go and that if things go the right way at the right pace we would get back together like we first were. now whats even more confusing to me is that he shows more affection now that we are "friends" than when we got back together after the break up. like this morning he texted me to come over he misses cuddling me! i dont get this like why is he doing this? what should i do? just wait and see? thanks You are allowing yourself to be strung along. You decided to get back together, but he's hostile? I understand that there might be some hesitation/awkwardness, etc., but hostility? And, now you are "friends" but he wants you to come cuddle him? Friends don't cuddle. This guy hasn't found another girl yet, but wants what he wants until he does. He's being hot and cold. Move on. You're a filler girl.
CosmoKitty Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 If he lied once, even about something small, he'll lie again. And if a guy is interested, there won't be any hot or cold going on - you'll know. I spent a year and a half with a guy who made me feel like his shadow, hardly had me be part of his life. I knew it was a bad relationship, but I stayed because I loved him and waited for him to love me back. He started seeing one of his female friends soon after he dumped me. This same friend he would help work on a website for her business. Did he cheat? Maybe not physically, but I feel like he kept me around until he found someone better. Long story short: don't let him string you along. If he loved you, he wouldn't treat you like this.
katiegrl Posted June 25, 2016 Posted June 25, 2016 Agree with the others. You are no longer worthy of being his girlfriend, he has reduced you to FWB. Which means he gets to have sex with you while reserving his right to keep his options OPEN and have sex with other girls too. That is quite obvious from his ACTIONS. And sorry but his words mean jack squat if not followed with actions. Meanwhile you're pining away for him while he's out possibly screwing other chicks. Plus he's a liar! I'm sorry but don't you think you deserve better than that crap? I think you do, I think we ALL do! I am sorry this sounds harsh, but move on, you are nothing more to him than FWB.
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