Have I lost her interest for good?

June 8, 2016

So about 3-4 weeks ago I matched with this girl who was so beautiful to the point I was confused why she was talking to me let's call her Sarah. We have a fair bit in common and she would snapchat me daily for hours on end I soon asked her out she agreed to meet me the week after. Now in this time period of a week I got involved with another girl who told me she was interested in a relationship with me so I felt it was best to cut down contact with Sarah. Even though I was still very much interested in her.

Now to cut it short it did not work out with this new girl so I felt like a fool for cutting contact with Sarah. It was the week we were supposed to go out and Sarah was no longer sending me messages but eventually she ignited the conversation again so I instantly asked her out again. She did not respond for 2 days and then finally came back with

"Sorry that was rude of me for ignoring you. You seem like a cool person but I think we should get to know each other more first"

We have kept talking since then but she no longer sends me snapchats or start's conversations and didn't even wish me a Happy Birthday. I asked her out again last week and she said

"That would be cool i'm busy this week maybe next week"

Well it's halfway through the week and I have no idea what to do she has told me she is very busy with University and the last thing I wanna do is keep asking her out. I don't wanna come of as needy so I only message her every 2-3 days and keep it very short. She has just come out of a relationship so I have the feeling she does not want to rush into anything. Normally I would never give a girl this much time never! but I feel she is worth it for some reason?

June 8, 2016

That's because she's not buying your b^&*sh*%. She's not dumb, she knows you were playing out other options. Plus why should she trust you when you ghosted on her. She's blowing you off....busy=not interested.

June 8, 2016

You both are wasting each others time. This is an online fake relationship and nothing else. Does she even live near you? I would suggest to meet up soon just to verify the other person is real and to see if there is any chemistry. If she doesn't do this then stop contacting her and write her off. You have no idea if she is even legit.

June 8, 2016

That's because she's not buying your b^&*sh*%. She's not dumb, she knows you were playing out other options. Plus why should she trust you when you ghosted on her. She's blowing you off....busy=not interested.

I know busy=not interested but to be fair it is exam time state wide since I've had others tell me the same thing. And I hardly ghosted on her we didn't even pick out a specific day and time.

June 8, 2016

You both are wasting each others time. This is an online fake relationship and nothing else. Does she even live near you? I would suggest to meet up soon just to verify the other person is real and to see if there is any chemistry. If she doesn't do this then stop contacting her and write her off. You have no idea if she is even legit.

I know she's real she would snapchat me pictures of herself all the time with responses to my questions.

June 8, 2016

Learn to see the difference between the online boy/girl role-playing game, and reality.

Asap.

June 9, 2016

"she would snapchat me daily for hours on end "

first mistake - dont do that

"You seem like a cool person but I think we should get to know each other more first"

your reply should have been "yes, that's why im asking you out on a date"

as other suggested, if you want to have real relationships, arrange to meet people and dont spend time testing, facebooking, snapchatting etc.

if you want to just be a snapchat voyeur, then keep doing that

this girl either was never going to meet, met someone else or realised you were seeing someone else and ignoring her.

i would explore other options

June 9, 2016

Don't know why people here keep saying she's some fake online girl/not reality. How do you know?

It can be very well that you dropped her first so now she's having doubts. Honestly if I was talking daily to a guy and he suddenly started seeing another girl, and came back to be because things didn't work out, then I sure wont give him another chance! She probably feels like a second option!

Now OP I don't understand if you say shes so beautiful, why did you go out with someone else instead? And you said normally you wouldn't spend any time/effort on girls like this, why?

June 9, 2016

We have a fair bit in common and she would snapchat me daily for hours on end I soon asked her out she agreed to meet me the week after.

So far so good.

Now in this time period of a week I got involved with another girl who told me she was interested in a relationship with me so I felt it was best to cut down contact with Sarah. Even though I was still very much interested in her.

Like a kid in a candy store your interest is easily swayed by anyone who pays you attention. Okay.

"Sorry that was rude of me for ignoring you. You seem like a cool person but I think we should get to know each other more first"

"That would be cool i'm busy this week maybe next week"

Yeah this is the death knell right here. You an hanging there but I doubt she's as eager to trust you again after you pulled away.

Normally I would never give a girl this much time never! but I feel she is worth it for some reason?

Yes that's it. Ration your precious 'time' with someone as if your presence is somehow their grace. :roll eyes: You only feel she is 'worth' it because the other girl stopped paying attention to you and oh noes! You might actually have to spend some time with yourself. If she was really all that you never would have been so easily swayed from her in the first place. Face it, this is just a case of regrets because you failed to get the attention you wanted from the other girl you chased.

Why on earth should she give you another chance? Honestly I wouldn't. You demonstrated to her perfectly how little you actually cared by running off the instant some other chick popped up on your radar. Who wants that?

June 9, 2016

She might have met someone else during the time you cut contact.

June 9, 2016

Don't know why people here keep saying she's some fake online girl/not reality. How do you know?

It can be very well that you dropped her first so now she's having doubts. Honestly if I was talking daily to a guy and he suddenly started seeing another girl, and came back to be because things didn't work out, then I sure wont give him another chance! She probably feels like a second option!

Now OP I don't understand if you say shes so beautiful, why did you go out with someone else instead? And you said normally you wouldn't spend any time/effort on girls like this, why?

Normally I wouldn't spend this much time on other girls because we may have huge differences and I feel chasing them is just not worth it ( I don't mean that in a rude way). But when I talk with Sarah we click with everything right down to having the same favorite foods.

To clarify we only stopped talking for 3-5 days and I did not ignore any of her messages. She also does not know about me dating the other girl and I mentioned nothing about it.

And yeah I focused on another girl who was giving me more attention and was willing to meet me multiple times. i'll admit i'm not a guy with options when it comes to girls so I picked what seemed like the safest path and it backfired on me if you wanna call me a loser for that go ahead. I completely understand what I did wrong.

I believe her excuse for being busy with university I know people who go to the same campus and they have said everyone is getting slammed with exams/assignments because it's mid year. We still have very good conversations together and she has said a few times that she would like to get to know me better.

June 9, 2016

She felt you cool off and is now wary of you. Can't predict whether or not she will give you another chance

June 9, 2016

She floods you with interest for hours a day, she agreed to meet with you, but you decided to cut contact to go speak to someone else, how do you think Sarah felt?

She gave it her best shot and you rewarded her with cutting down contact and pulling away. That sent her a clear message and now you have decided to pick her up again, she is "busy".

I doubt you can turn this around, she has friend zoned you.

Her very obvious interest in you at the start is gone.

June 9, 2016

N
To clarify we only stopped talking for 3-5 days and I did not ignore any of her messages. She also does not know about me dating the other girl and I mentioned nothing about it.

You said you cut down contact with her so you must have ignored her in some why otherwise she would have kept talking to you for hours? Also you already asked her out once and she agreed to meet you the week after, what happened to that? Did you cancel on her?

She doesnt need to know you are dating other girls, she could just feel you are not interested anymore.

Maybe just sent her an apology for being distant and be upfront/honest. See if she will give you another chance.

June 9, 2016

You said you cut down contact with her so you must have ignored her in some why otherwise she would have kept talking to you for hours? Also you already asked her out once and she agreed to meet you the week after, what happened to that? Did you cancel on her?

She doesnt need to know you are dating other girls, she could just feel you are not interested anymore.

Maybe just sent her an apology for being distant and be upfront/honest. See if she will give you another chance.

We agreed to meet the week after but never set a specific day/time we continued to talk up until that week but the conversation died and I didn't try to ignite the conversation for a few days until she did later into the week that's when I asked her out again.

In the past few hours I sent her a message hinting about our date she has seen the message and didn't reply. I'm pretty sure that's all the evidence I need really I want to give it another crack and ask her directly but it just doesn't seem worth it now last thing I wanna do is come off as needy right?

I will say I've learnt my lesson next time I will not put all my eggs in one basket and keep my options open. I will keep her added on social media platforms but wont bother her in anyway unless she wants to chat.

June 9, 2016

Here is what I think has happened.

You were both talking a lot and enjoying getting to know each other (even made a date) then you suddenly went quiet because you met someone else. She probably sent you the last message, right?

From her perspective, your silence was deafening. She was probably waiting to hear from you every day only to be disappointed, so she lost faith. She felt your lack of interest and it hurt.

She finally reached out to you which shows she still cares, but make no mistakes, she is upset with you, which is why she took two days to reject your invitation. She doesn't want to be used so you need to prove that you are sincere and genuine.

Pay attention to the words she used, "Sorry that was rude of me for ignoring you. You seem like a cool person but I think we should get to know each other more first"

She is making a clear statement that ignoring someone is rude, and the guilty party should apologize for it.

She is also letting you know that whatever trust was there when you first made a date is gone. She has doubts about you, but she hasn't completely slammed the door in your face which gives you a glimmer of hope.

With enough effort on your part you might be able to get gain her trust back, but don't take her for granted or for a fool because if she thinks you are messing her around again you wont get another chance.

Edited June 9, 2016 by Scarlett.O'hara

June 9, 2016

Here is what I think has happened.

You were both talking a lot and enjoying getting to know each other (even made a date) then you suddenly went quiet because you met someone else. She probably sent you the last message, right?

From her perspective, your silence was deafening. She was probably waiting to hear from you every day only to be disappointed, so she lost faith. She felt your lack of interest and it hurt.

She finally reached out to you which shows she still cares, but make no mistakes, she is upset with you, which is why she took two days to reject your invitation. She doesn't want to be used so you need to prove that you are sincere and genuine.

Pay attention to the words she used, "Sorry that was rude of me for ignoring you. You seem like a cool person but I think we should get to know each other more first"

She is making a clear statement that ignoring someone is rude, and the guilty party should apologize for it.

She is also letting you know that whatever trust was there when you first made a date is gone. She has doubts about you, but she hasn't completely slammed the door in your face which gives you a glimmer of hope.

With enough effort on your part you might be able to get gain her trust back, but don't take her for granted or for a fool because if she thinks you are messing her around again you wont get another chance.

I really like your post it feels me with some hope (just a tad). Do you have any tips on how to win her trust back without even meeting her? Since my last post I just went screw it and asked her out for Sunday she replied immediately (Seconds) with "Sorry I'm having a family lunch and meeting up with cousins". I didn't pressure her anymore on the date so now we are just talking about family.

June 9, 2016

I will say I've learnt my lesson next time I will not put all my eggs in one basket and keep my options open.

Maybe you should just forget about other options and just concentrate on one woman at a time, instead of getting distracted as soon as something "better" presented itself.

June 9, 2016

I think you need to slowly build your way back in. Don't ask her out now but start with something small everyday. Maybe just chit chat. After you feel she's warming up , ask her out. It doesn't make you look needy, and if you don't do it, it sure looks like you aren't too interested

I still think an apology is necessary though. If I were her I would be happy with something alone the line "I got distant because I got too nervous around the date because you are too good to be true" haha

Edited June 9, 2016 by frus69

June 9, 2016

Yes, as a woman I would really expect an apology. It's really all about the fact that you understand her feels have been hurt. I would be quick to forgive the mistake, if I knew you appreciated that I was not happy with what happened and took some responsibility. It doesn't have to be anything too serious, just something along the lines of "I have really enjoyed talking with you. I'm sorry that we didn't get together last week... I got nervous, but I've missed talking with you and I'd like to continue getting to know each other." Then, don't ask her out or bombard her with texts... She must still be somewhat interested if she's still responding politely to your messages. If she wasn't, she probably not respond or tell you no. But, you need to build trust again... Start with an apology. Then, keep things light and easy. Think of things from her perspective - what will make her smile, make her day better. Something funny you have seen that you thought she would enjoy. Something you know she likes that you want to show her. Just a "the sun is shining. I hope you have a great weekend!" And with time, if you get more of a response from her, you can suggest again that you would like to meet her. And then, be sure to FOLLOW THROUGH!

Good luck to you.

Edited June 9, 2016 by BaileyB

June 9, 2016

I really like your post it feels me with some hope (just a tad). Do you have any tips on how to win her trust back without even meeting her? Since my last post I just went screw it and asked her out for Sunday she replied immediately (Seconds) with "Sorry I'm having a family lunch and meeting up with cousins". I didn't pressure her anymore on the date so now we are just talking about family.

Have you ever met someone you thought you were in to at first but then lost interest?

1. How would you act/respond to her?

2. Has your interest honestly ever been re-ignited?

Answer those questions honestly and I am pretty sure you'll have all the answers you need, maybe just ones you don't want.

June 10, 2016

Thank you for the replies everyone!

After sleeping on it I think the last the few comments are very spot on! the door was wide open for me but now it's open just a crack. I talked with Sarah for a few hours last night which was very nice I think my plan now is just to start from level 1 again and build my way back up. If she starts dating someone else in that time (pretty much expected) i'm totally fine with it.

I love the idea of the apology but i'm pretty sure that boat sailed a long time ago we are talking 3 weeks ago when that happened.

June 10, 2016

Thank you for the replies everyone!

After sleeping on it I think the last the few comments are very spot on! the door was wide open for me but now it's open just a crack. I talked with Sarah for a few hours last night which was very nice I think my plan now is just to start from level 1 again and build my way back up. If she starts dating someone else in that time (pretty much expected) i'm totally fine with it.

I love the idea of the apology but i'm pretty sure that boat sailed a long time ago we are talking 3 weeks ago when that happened.

Not too sure what you mean the boat has sailed.Late better than never? Men in general, just don't apologise to their girl enough! haha lol

well, up to you. But good luck

June 13, 2016

*UPDATE*

I took a different approach and talked to her daily hoping she feels more comfortable with me. I had very little success I found out she would love to go to a sushi train bar so I asked if she had any free days this week which she responded with "No Sorry I don't :(" .

In a turn of events a few days ago I found out a person at work knows her best-friends really well. He wanted to help me out so he talked with her best friend for me. She simply said "Best thing your friend can do is be himself" it wasn't much help tbh. My mate from work later assured me that Sarah is just playing really hard to get and want's me to work for it. I simply said yeah but it get's to a point where all this messaging is just a waste of time.

Her excuse for not going out Sunday seemed to hold up she was not online at all that day. Even though she no longer sends snapchats (once every 4 days she will) her response times are still very good 1-2 minutes when we chat.

I know most people on here will probably say she is clearly not interested but if she really is playing hard to get it can't hurt to try I guess .

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