Looking4One Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 We met in late January at a young adult church group that I had just joined. I’m 26 (look younger) and very attractive (sorry, just trying to give any relevant details) and he’s in his early 40s. He’s kind of nerdy (a scientist), which is what I’m attracted to, but also pretty socially awkward (he does have friends and stuff though). He approached me and we started talking. I wrote down my email onto a volunteer sheet and he asked if he could email me sometime to continue our conversation. He emailed me 4 or 5 days later talking about platonic stuff (hiking, bowling, etc.) and we emailed back and forth a few times. I got sick of him emailing me so I decided to make a move and gave him my phone # and told him to call me sometime so we could “talk about hiking” (didn’t want to make it too obvious). Apparently that wasn’t forward enough because he called me and we, well, talked about hiking the whole time. He emailed and texted me again a few times but nothing flirty at all, just like “how was your trip to California?” type stuff. He offered to go shopping with me because I mentioned I wanted to buy a bike so he could give me advice. The weather ended up being too poor to test-drive bikes so he mentioned that he was going to be at a church event the following day and invited me to come so he could give me more advice about bikes. After that, a couple more texts. I saw him at another church event a few days ago and he offered to walk me to the bus at the end of the night, even though it was like a mile out of his way, but still didn’t make a move at the end. Am I just being stupid to the fact that he’s just not that into me? The age difference doesn’t bother me but maybe he thinks it does? I’m getting frustrated and unsure if I should make a move (I never have before and wouldn’t really even know what to do) or just move on. Now that I’m getting older, it’s difficult to meet single people that I like so I don’t want to pass up an opportunity but don’t want to be in denial either. Help, please! Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 It's possible that he doesn't really know what the nature of your relationship is and doesn't want to seem like a predator.. 26 and 40s is a BIG gap, so he wouldn't be misguided to assume that your relationship was non-romantic. It's not like when you are closer in age and it's safe to assume that a romantic relationship is at least a possibility. If you want to date him, i think you might have to ask him on a date in a more forward way. He is the one that is going to come off as a big creep if you were thinking of him as a super older brother/uncle figure all along and then he goes and asks you on a date. Particularly since you both belong to the same community and that community is church oriented - which is a heavy on the morals and light on the sexuality from what I've heard Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Make a move! Don't wait around for life to find time for you. Worst thing that can happen is he says no. Link to post Share on other sites
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