1Jessie86 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I moved to San Diego January 2016. I've been on 5 dates which is a lot for me since moving here. In previous years I would date one or two people once or twice a year! This is all new for me. I'm 29 and have had 1 boyfriend in my life. My problem is that I'm an extremely shy, introverted, and soft spoken women. The dates that I've been on never go past the first or second meeting. It's so frustrating. I find dating exhausting. Should I call dating a quits for now or keep chugging? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Are doing online dating? That seems to be the norm with online dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1Jessie86 Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 Are doing online dating? That seems to be the norm with online dating. Yes I am. I've met all 5 of the guys through online dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tchofgold Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Hi 1jessie86 I have been looking since 2008 for someone. I've tried on and off the net. And I'm still alone. So don't worry when you least expect it love will find you. I'm 55 so it's a little harder for me then you and i still still carry hope around with me. Smile keep your head up and keep trying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 In the online dating world, most girls consider 5 dates a "week." 5 dates in 3 months for a girl on a dating website is a pretty low number. Personally, I don't think OLD is that good for people and I would never, ever recommend it for a guy, but I do think a smart girl could possibly land a partner or decent relationship out of it. However, you have to understand most people on there aren't looking for a relationship or even a date. A lot of them just like ego boost or need a way to pass time. Some are just looking for a quick lay. Some are looking for a "soft landing" from exiting another relationship. Some are on there simply out of boredom. Also, a lot of those people aren't truly emotionally available anyway. See, meeting people in real life takes social skills that cannot be easily faked. Anyone can post a good "resume" and some carefully selected and touched up photos, but not everyone is capable of a real relationship. Online dating is place where people with intimacy issues can live out their fantasies of having a real relationship without actually having to do any of the heavy lifting that one takes. Don't take it personally because it's a super cruel world. I honestly think you'd be better served by signing up for meet-ups, classes, etc with people you have things in common with. It feels soooooo much better being attractive to someone you met through mutual interest as opposed to someone who shopped for you online like a pair of sneakers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Otter2569 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Never quit! Just modify your approach: there are tons of articles on line about dating, how to attract..., tons of advise on here. Like anything else you have to work at it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NinjaX Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 It's good to take a breather once in a while. If you carry a negative attitude to dating, you won't have fun and you are hindering yourself when you do go on dates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I've never done OLD and after what I've read on loveshack, I never would! Having said that, I personally know three very happy, and well-matched couples who met that way. You could try the common interest approach. Look for local groups and societies related to your interests. You get the bonus having something to talk about right away. What are your interests? Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Are these five guys that you've been on dates with somewhat similar to each other in personality? If so, you might want to start going on dates with guys that have a different personality type. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I moved to San Diego January 2016. It is barely March! Spring in Summer in San Diego is magnificent (lived there for almost 20 years). Why would you give up now when the summer fun of dating is just around the corner? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1Jessie86 Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 In the online dating world, most girls consider 5 dates a "week." 5 dates in 3 months for a girl on a dating website is a pretty low number. Personally, I don't think OLD is that good for people and I would never, ever recommend it for a guy, but I do think a smart girl could possibly land a partner or decent relationship out of it. However, you have to understand most people on there aren't looking for a relationship or even a date. A lot of them just like ego boost or need a way to pass time. Some are just looking for a quick lay. Some are looking for a "soft landing" from exiting another relationship. Some are on there simply out of boredom. Also, a lot of those people aren't truly emotionally available anyway. See, meeting people in real life takes social skills that cannot be easily faked. Anyone can post a good "resume" and some carefully selected and touched up photos, but not everyone is capable of a real relationship. Online dating is place where people with intimacy issues can live out their fantasies of having a real relationship without actually having to do any of the heavy lifting that one takes. Don't take it personally because it's a super cruel world. I honestly think you'd be better served by signing up for meet-ups, classes, etc with people you have things in common with. It feels soooooo much better being attractive to someone you met through mutual interest as opposed to someone who shopped for you online like a pair of sneakers. Great points. All true. I feel a little better now. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1Jessie86 Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 Are these five guys that you've been on dates with somewhat similar to each other in personality? If so, you might want to start going on dates with guys that have a different personality type. I'm very picky with those that I end up meeting up with. I try to make sure we share similar interests and that he's more of an extrovert rather than an introvert. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1Jessie86 Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 \You could try the common interest approach. Look for local groups and societies related to your interests. You get the bonus having something to talk about right away. What are your interests? I know no one out here but I'm trying to become more involved in meetup.com groups. Link to post Share on other sites
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