When you feel theres only one thing to do

[chaddercheese]

Im not advertising it any way, im getting help for my views and feelings personally, but sometimes you need a little more help than what tablets give you.

 

Ive thought about it for a long time, ive wanted to go since i was 15 but the thing that kept me was something as small as a football team wanting to know how well my team finished. This carriee on for years until i met the girl of my dreams.

 

She looked perfect her personality was amazing, eventually her insecurities and jealosuy blead out and it took its toll on me. No matter what i did it would play against me. Id say the sex was great, she would see that and accuse me of sauying im only with her becausr the sex is good.

 

In the end i couldnt handle it anymore, i have more than enough stress through everytjing smd i had one little stress release was mving in with her at the end kf this working tour, she decided to pull out which has cost me £600 in fees which ive paid that im "waiting" for her to pay her half, despite me being ready to move in and the money lost because she pulled out last minute.

 

But then at work im in a raf base full of "guys", i get disincluded by everyone because they tell me every day they dont like me and they dont trust me. Im.basically a guy thrown in from headquarters to understand the aircract that im working with, a 23 year old giy away from everything he knows, family, partner, friends. Everything. But im forced to be an outsider here, none of my old friends want to know me anymore because i moved away.

 

Literally the only person that pretended they cared revealed they actually didnt and that your actually all alone in this world. It just makes me want to finish what ive planned for 9 years now. Ive had everything ready but little things have prevented it. I just cant find joy in those little things anymore though.

[Redhead14]

Im not advertising it any way, im getting help for my views and feelings personally, but sometimes you need a little more help than what tablets give you.

 

Ive thought about it for a long time, ive wanted to go since i was 15 but the thing that kept me was something as small as a football team wanting to know how well my team finished. This carriee on for years until i met the girl of my dreams.

 

She looked perfect her personality was amazing, eventually her insecurities and jealosuy blead out and it took its toll on me. No matter what i did it would play against me. Id say the sex was great, she would see that and accuse me of sauying im only with her becausr the sex is good.

 

In the end i couldnt handle it anymore, i have more than enough stress through everytjing smd i had one little stress release was mving in with her at the end kf this working tour, she decided to pull out which has cost me £600 in fees which ive paid that im "waiting" for her to pay her half, despite me being ready to move in and the money lost because she pulled out last minute.

 

But then at work im in a raf base full of "guys", i get disincluded by everyone because they tell me every day they dont like me and they dont trust me. Im.basically a guy thrown in from headquarters to understand the aircract that im working with, a 23 year old giy away from everything he knows, family, partner, friends. Everything. But im forced to be an outsider here, none of my old friends want to know me anymore because i moved away.

 

Literally the only person that pretended they cared revealed they actually didnt and that your actually all alone in this world. It just makes me want to finish what ive planned for 9 years now. Ive had everything ready but little things have prevented it. I just cant find joy in those little things anymore though.

 

Chadder, is there a counselor on the RAF base you are stationed at? It's time to go someplace besides the internet. The CO might be able to direct you to resources. I understand you're struggling. And, yes, it's difficult when you feel so alone.

 

It sounds as though you are an intelligent young man. You have a valuable skill and an important assignment. For now, I'd focus on that. In the US, the military slogan is "Be all you can be" Focus on your strengths. Draw confidence and pride from that.