How much texting is too much texting from a guy?

[meanthingsisaid]

How much texting is too much texting from a guy? Say you are dating and things are getting better. Text frequency increases. At what point you say, wow he is too available this is getting boring and too predictable. Is there a rule for that kind of thing?

[tasev1]

Edit: because your profile doesn't say, I kind of clued in that you might be a woman based on your writing? In which case, what I wrote below applies to the guy. Ask yourself - does his excessive availability turn you off? Would direct communication be hotter? Would you be more attracted to him if he was busy, or if you were not 100% sure how he felt? Now you may understand my advice to him.

 

You pretty much said it yourself - too much is not good! Look up on YouTube Corey Wayne, and read his book "How to be a 3% man". Also, Hayley Quinn would be a good help.

 

Generally, I keep text convo to a minimum. Only occasional banter or when necessary. But as Corey says - "texting is for setting dates...".

 

Now, this most definitely applies at the beginning of a relationship, but deeper in when you are exclusive? Not so sure it has to be that tight.

 

This is just what I have learned, and am trying to put to practice.

Edited January 21, 2016 by tasev1

[Redhead14]

How much texting is too much texting from a guy? Say you are dating and things are getting better. Text frequency increases. At what point you say, wow he is too available this is getting boring and too predictable. Is there a rule for that kind of thing?

 

At what point you say, wow he is too available this is getting boring and too predictable -- You say that when it feels like he is too available and getting boring and too predictable to you . . . it's a matter of what YOU like. Just have a casual conversation about phone communication habits, likes and dislikes.

[WhirlwindGuy]

I seriously never understand weird questions like this.

 

 

There is not some rulebook that says what is or isn't enough or not enough of anything.

 

 

If it bugs YOU, then it bugs YOU...either say something or move on.

 

 

Since when did dating, love, etc. become so subjective? Like a computer program.

[Nilfiry]

This is a case by case thing. There is no general answer. Some people love texting, and some hate it. Some prefer calls, and some do not even want to touch their phones.

 

I for one hate phone calls, but I do not like texting either. I start to get lazy to respond after a few exchanges. Important matters and emergencies aside. I make these things clear, though, so even though I get some complaints occasionally, I do not hurt anyone's feelings.

[Buddhist]

At what point you say, wow he is too available this is getting boring and too predictable. Is there a rule for that kind of thing?

 

If you are dating a woman who has this thought, then you're dating the wrong woman. Women who need unpredictability, intensity and constant excitement aren't well adjusted individuals.

[TheTraveler]

Edit: because your profile doesn't say, I kind of clued in that you might be a woman based on your writing? In which case, what I wrote below applies to the guy. Ask yourself - does his excessive availability turn you off? Would direct communication be hotter? Would you be more attracted to him if he was busy, or if you were not 100% sure how he felt? Now you may understand my advice to him.

 

You pretty much said it yourself - too much is not good! Look up on YouTube Corey Wayne, and read his book "How to be a 3% man". Also, Hayley Quinn would be a good help.

 

Generally, I keep text convo to a minimum. Only occasional banter or when necessary. But as Corey says - "texting is for setting dates...".

 

Now, this most definitely applies at the beginning of a relationship, but deeper in when you are exclusive? Not so sure it has to be that tight.

 

This is just what I have learned, and am trying to put to practice.

 

That doesn't work for everyone. Some like to text back and forth. Some do not. There's no rulebook.

[Kuchi2]

I am one of those [rare?] girls that love when the guy texts quite a lot. I don't mean 24/7, cuz he sure better have a life outside of me/texts, but enough where I know he's thinking about me.

 

The man I'm dating now used to hit me up ALL THE TIMEE. I'm someone that loves texting, regardless if it's a guy I'm dating, a friend, family, etc. (I can go up to 1k+ texts a month lol). But this guy was so interested in me, he showed it alot through texts. But his texts had purpose. They were stories, funny memes, things that's going on with him, questions to get to know me, etc. So it wasn't boring and definitely not predictable. At first I wasn't that attracted to him, but the fact he gave me this much attention AND we were compatible with our communication, made me want him more.

 

So, I don't believe in "too much texting" because I like texts. Some people, like maybe yourself, don't like that much texts, so you question it. If you don't like it, or feel it's too much, tell him to communicate via texts less so you guys have more things to talk about when you call or have dates. If you don't say it now, it'll turn you off even more and end up splitting (that is if you like him enough to keep it going).

[joseb]

At what point you say, wow he is too available this is getting boring and too predictable -- You say that when it feels like he is too available and getting boring and too predictable to you

..

 

Exactly what I was about to reply!

 

It's like people these days need someone to tell them how they should feel about everything.

 

Someone texting me once a day saying "hi how is your day" would be boring to me, but someone sending me funny anecdotes or clever pics or memes several times a day is fine to me (both recent occurrences for me)

[GemmaUK]

Texting and levels of is a conversation that needs to be had very early on in my opinion.

 

I just won't date a guy who over texts again..no way in hell!

[meanthingsisaid]

Texting and levels of is a conversation that needs to be had very early on in my opinion.

 

I just won't date a guy who over texts again..no way in hell!

 

At some point you started to say wait a minute we are having more of the relationship on text than in person. That is not a real relationship. It is a phone companionship, when you are bored or something.

[GemmaUK]

At some point you started to say wait a minute we are having more of the relationship on text than in person. That is not a real relationship. It is a phone companionship, when you are bored or something.

 

Sorry, why has the question turned around to me?

I wasn't asking a question.

[meanthingsisaid]

Sorry, why has the question turned around to me?

I wasn't asking a question.

 

Miscommunication. I meant you as in 'one' (general sense). Here is the thing. Girls like texting. I don't. I can compromise and text but then at some point I start to think why are we talking so much on text and why does my date get upset if I don't respond to her general daily observation texts. I find myself thinking how is that a real relationship but I can't completely stop texting either because if I do she thinks I am not interested enough and things go downhill. So now I gotta do it but I don't want to overdo it. So I wondered at what point girls will say this is too much texting I am bored now.

[brightstars]

How much texting is too much texting from a guy? Say you are dating and things are getting better. Text frequency increases. At what point you say, wow he is too available this is getting boring and too predictable. Is there a rule for that kind of thing?

 

It depends on the person. Others might like to have more messages from their partner while others might not. It really has to do with the person and what he likes.

[tuxedo cat]

I personally love texting if we have good rapport and the guy is funny and smart. It makes me feel connected and assured of his interest. The guys who claimed they weren't texters were also more remote/less direct ppl I found. What I don't like is receiving boring texts from a guy who has nothing to say and is just checking in.

[basil67]

Miscommunication. I meant you as in 'one' (general sense). Here is the thing. Girls like texting. I don't. I can compromise and text but then at some point I start to think why are we talking so much on text and why does my date get upset if I don't respond to her general daily observation texts. I find myself thinking how is that a real relationship but I can't completely stop texting either because if I do she thinks I am not interested enough and things go downhill. So now I gotta do it but I don't want to overdo it. So I wondered at what point girls will say this is too much texting I am bored now.

 

There is a very simple answer to this: you have a discussion about it. Let her know that you're not much of a texter and prefer face to face or phone.

 

Also, I am a girl and I don't like texting.

[meanthingsisaid]

There is a very simple answer to this: you have a discussion about it. Let her know that you're not much of a texter and prefer face to face or phone.

 

Also, I am a girl and I don't like texting.

 

 

 

It doesn't work that way. In this day and age, you can't have a relationship without texting a girl. Discussion or not, they assume you don't care enough. I learned that the hard way.

[meanthingsisaid]

IIt makes me feel connected and assured of his interest. The guys who claimed they weren't texters were also more remote/less direct ppl I found.

 

 

My experience is that is exactly how girls (20-30) feel. So there is no way to get by with discussing and saying you don't text. So there needs to be texting ... Unfortunately. I personally hate it. Waste of time. But girls I date thinks it is a way to emotionally connect.

[Reitteg813]

its going to vary from one girl to the next. One girl I was with about 3-4 months ago would text me non stop. Literally starting any time between 6-8am most days, and didn't stop till she went to bed. Was a little weirded out at first, but I got used to it and I was able to have all the control. So I responded whenever I wanted to space out the texts so she wouldn't text me non stop. There were other days she maybe wouldn't text me till maybe 3-4 in the afternoon. So for this girl, there basically was no such thing as me texting her too much.

 

But pretty much every girl I've been with just likes to text. So they typically text first, but you still have to watch it and not over do it, but the more they like to text and text you first, the more and more you'll have to text till its "too much"

 

And then I've had some that really dont text much at all. And those you have to watch cause it could be easy to over do. Just don't be boring with it. Have a purpose to text her. Don't just text her cause youre bored. Espeecially in the beginning. Text or even better yet call to make plans.

 

All depends on the girl. Play it by ear and do what feels right, but don't drag on conversations. Make sure shes the last one to send a text the large majority of the time. Also make sure to end text convos around the peak of conversation when you may be building up some tension and playfully teasing her and making her laugh. If you end it at the peak of the convo or right after, itll make her think about you and look forward to talking to you again, but dont end the conversation on a dull boring note.

 

I know it all sounds stupid and having these "rules" but texting as changed the game unfortunately and some guys can screw themselves over by the way they text and others can really build up some attraction and sexual tension if done correctly.

[Bobbi7]

Hi..how was your day would be boring.