Don't understand this girls actions after I told her I liked her and asked her out.

[spazzo246]

Long post incoming.

 

I met this extremely shy girl last year at a convention. She's 20 and I'm 22. We added each other on facebook and have been talking on and off since.

 

In the last couple months we have been talking much more frequently and have been seeing each other more in person both in group settings and once alone, I went to her house once to play video games and watch anime

 

In the last month or so I have begun to have feelings for her. Just before Christmas one of our mutual friends did a joke relationship status with her. At the time we were talking and she was telling me that she'll have to tell her family that its all a joke. As we were on the topic I thought it would be a good opportunity to ask her out on a date. It was over Facebook and I really regret doing so becuase the conversation that followed was quite peculiar.

 

I'm.fairly certain that she is quite new to the whole dating stuff. The responses support that additionaly.

 

I asked her if she wanted to go on a date with me sometime. She responded with

 

You like me !? :00

yeah sure that would be awesome c: and we can see how things go from there ?

 

I said yes and then suggested we go do something after new years as we are both real busy.

 

She then responded with.

 

Sweet ok

So wanna go something with others or just u and me ?? ^^

 

I was a bit startled by this response but I just said you and me if that's OK and I'll message her again sometime in regards to a date.

 

Come this weekend I saw her when a bunch of friends were going to the local arcade. We held hands at one point when we were walking to our destination which was great. I then noticed throughout the rest of the day she was also holding hands with 2 other guys. Now I'm.not sure if this is because she's unfamiliar with the formalities of dating (not sure if this is the right word to use here) or its just that she just goes along with how others interact with her.

 

This confused me alot. Why would a girl do this if she knows there's someone that likes her? I really don't understand. I haven't really given her a formal invitation and called her for a date, its all been online up until this point. Maybe I need to call her straight up and confirm with her a time to go out. I'm really not even sure if I should continue pursuing this.

 

Can anyone shed some light on this topic? I'm really not sure what to do

 

Thanks. And sorry for the lengthy post

[Jammer25]

I haven't really given her a formal invitation and called her for a date, its all been online up until this point. Maybe I need to call her straight up and confirm with her a time to go out. I'm really not even sure if I should continue pursuing this.

 

Pretty much what you need to do. Be direct and clear about what you're asking of her. Online messages leave out so much context.

 

And really, this is why you always ask a girl out in person. Especially if it's the first time.

[spazzo246]

Pretty much what you need to do. Be direct and clear about what you're asking of her. Online messages leave out so much context.

 

And really, this is why you always ask a girl out in person. Especially if it's the first time.

 

Yeah I know. It was just a mix of nerves and uncertainty. I regret doing it over Facebook alot. I'll call her tonight and make sure I'm clear as to what my intentions are.

 

Thanks

[PolarCrash]

Yeah, you waited WAAAAAAY too long to make a move; it's no wonder she's being all hesitant and awkward. Your behavior is as confusing to her as her's is to you; she's thinking "why after all these months does he decide he likes me"?

 

I ask a girl out within minutes (MINUTES) of meeting a girl for the first time; not any of this building rapport for days/weeks/months BS.

[spazzo246]

Yeah, you waited WAAAAAAY too long to make a move; it's no wonder she's being all hesitant and awkward. Your behavior is as confusing to her as her's is to you; she's thinking "why after all these months does he decide he likes me"?

 

I ask a girl out within minutes (MINUTES) of meeting a girl for the first time; not any of this building rapport for days/weeks/months BS.

 

Yeaa. I figured I ended up waiting to long. I should have asked her out quite soon after we met and then got to know her while we were dating. Rather than getting to know her quite well and then asking her out on a date. Its all out of whack.

 

Welp this has been an eye opener. I now what to do for future. Thanks for your help guys.

[smackie9]

She asked if you were going out as a group or one on one because she's unsure. You are just getting too far ahead of yourself. Just because you go out on a date with her don't mean you are BF/GF.....that's not how it works. Unfortunately she doesn't have any obligation of commitment to you because you are pursuing/like her. She can hold hands with anyone she wants. After a few dates, you can express that you want exclusivity.

[d0nnivain]

I find her behavior a bit rude. . . throwing other guys in your face like that. However, given her age, I'm willing to chalk her behavior up to insecurity & lack of experience. The minute she asked if you wanted to do a group thing she was expressing fear to be alone with you in a romantic setting. You know her; we don't. So from here I can't say if the fear is because she is unsure about you or she has limited dating experience & wanted a buffer.

 

 

Pick a place & time, set up a concrete date & see what happens.

[spazzo246]

Hi Guys! I need help trying to understand a situation im in.

 

I met this Incredibly shy girl one year ago at Comicon im 22 and shes 20. From there we added each other on Facebook and left it at that.

 

In the last 6 Months we began talking more over Facebook and seeing each other in person (group settings).

 

In the last few months I began to have feelings for her and asked her out. We had the first date today. It was Lunch and movies.

 

The date went ok. There were a few hiccups like dead conversations consisting only of small talk and random comments. A severe lack of question asking (I think this is aiming towards here shyness, but still) from her end. As much as I tried to keep the conversation flowing, there is only so much I can say before it got silent and awkward.

 

The other thing was. And this could be because she is incredibly shy. She asked me no questions what so ever the whole day. The talking from her end was just basic responses to my conversation.

 

We talk so much on Facebook. Nearly every day and the conversations between us go on throughout the whole day and then when it comes to meeting in person everything does a 180. I mean sure shes a shy person and finds it easy to talk more online rather than in person, but still you'd think if you talk that much online she would have some sort of interest in me?

 

Talking so much online inst something that 2 people who are "just friends" do, is it? Its how people in a relationship/dating act. Right? Unless the whole "friend zone" bs comes into play.

 

I really don't get this girl. As much as I want to keep perusing the friendship and bring it further I cant read what her intentions are and figure out if they are the same as mine.

 

I think it might come down to me legit asking her how she feels about me. Would this be a wise thing to do? In person? Over facebook/text? (leaning more to this as how shy she in in person)