Mugen Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 So my gf of only four months got divorced two years ago. During those two years she had no contact with her ex-husband other than a few random texts where he asks how she is but it's real short. Usually she answers one line, or something. He has a gf and lives out of state but was coming up to get some things from his parents and asked if she wanted to meet for a drink. In this two years, she has dated a couple people but now has started dating me and she has basically given up an open relationship lifestyle to be with me as I can't do that. I'm her first monogamous relationship and has told me during sex that "I could keep her", I get the sense that she really is head over heels for me (I am amazing!). She asked me how I felt, and you know, I'm not sure. What would you guys think about it? She told me she has no romantic feelings whatsoever, but that he's not a bad person and means him no ill will. She mentioned it might give him some closure (or maybe she needs it?) since they haven't seen each other since the court house. She said that she hasn't even made up her mind if she wants to, but wanted to talk to me. Said that she would come right over to my place after and see me. I completely trust her to be honest with me about how she feels and what happens, she really is. I'm just more worried that she has some sort of emotions for him that she doesn't realize or will somehow be wooed by him. He has known her for ten years and me for four months. I tend to take some time to understand how I feel about something and just discussing it with others helps. Is this a bad idea to be okay with her meeting her ex husband? (Together for 10, married for 2, she divorced him for being a dick and never having a job)
PegNosePete Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I would be asking her why on earth would she want him in her life? He is her past (and it seems, a bad part of it). You are (hopefully) her future. Why on earth would she want to go backwards with her life? And why aren't you invited too? 1
kgcolonel Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 I was thinking the very same thing as Pegs....the open R past would be somewhat troubling in wondering what the EX was "really" looking for in having drinks. If I were the real focus today, I would hope she'd want to introduce me to him if a meeting was legitimately in the cards.
dads new boyfriend Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 Your girlfriend is considering going on a date with her ex husband, let that sink in. 1
xcupid Posted December 10, 2015 Posted December 10, 2015 If all the divorce stuff is finished and there are no other entanglements like children, custody, etc. then the question is WHY she would want to do that?
Author Mugen Posted December 10, 2015 Author Posted December 10, 2015 Well, I spoke with her about it and basically told her the same thing yesterday and after reading the things here before lunch. I had lunch with her and told her I don't understand why she would want to meet this guy for a date from her past. She got defensive and said it wasn't a date Though we communicate rather well, so it wasn't bad. She iterated that she has no romantic feelings for him and when she divorced him, it wasn't that she hated him- that's he's not a bad guy, just a bad boyfriend. So I told her that from her stories of him, I'm sorry, but he's kind of a dbag and I wouldn't like him as a friend either. That I found it a bit of an issue, especially if I'm not invited. To which she immediately replied that I am indeed invited, especially if I want to go. Which I will. She said she was worried he might try to hit me (guy will be sad if he does, I'm a monster) which just further strengthened my point that he still has feelings for her if he does and she shouldn't be meeting him anyway if he doesn't like her boyfriend. She then ended it all with saying that she wasn't even sure if she wanted to go, she just wanted to tell me that he texted her and asked her. That she didn't agree to anything yet and that she doesn't know how she feels about meeting him. That I have nothing to worry about, that I'm amazing and a million fold better partner than him.
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