Was I just rejected or is there still an opportunity here?

[Islander19]

So there's this girl I work with who I've been interested in for a while. For a long time it didn't seem like she was interested, and she had a boyfriend, so I just left it and pursued other girls.

 

However, in the last month we've started to get a lot closer. She moved to place that's right on my way home, so I've been driving her home when she doesn't have a ride. Consequently we've gotten to know each other a lot better. We've definitely gotten friendlier at work and we talk all the time. She frequently stop by my office to chat and sends me a few funny emails that aren't work related. Then earlier this week she told her and her boyfriend are breaking up. So that, coupled with the increased attention at work, made me think there was an opportunity to ask her out.

 

Earlier this week she was sick and stayed home. She joked to me that she just spent the whole day on the couch watching the first 3 Hunger Games movies on Netflix and that they actually weren't bad and that I should check them out. I had seen the first one and remembered that it was actually alright, so I watched the other two. With the new movie in the theaters I thought this would be the perfect excuse to ask her out.

 

We talked about the movies yesterday before I left work. I mentioned the new one was in theaters, but she said she doesn't really go to the theater that much and it's not really her thing. It seemed a little odd (I mean who doesn't like going to the movies?) but whatever. I was about to ask her if she wanted to go but aborted my plan after she said that.

 

I couldn't really come up with anything else for us to do. If it was summer I'd suggest something outdoorsy, but it's winter and getting pretty cold out. Today I just thought "screw it, I'll ask her to the movie anyways." I figured if she was really interested she'd yes.

 

So we talked this morning and I brought up the movie again. I just asked if she was sure she didn't want to go, because if she did I'd go with her. She just shook her head and said "no, it's not my thing."

 

Like I said, if she was really interested I feel like she would have said yes. But I guess she could just legitimately not want to go to the movie. I'm just wondering if I should think of something else for us to do together and try again, or if I should forget about this and move on.

 

If there's a chance she's still interested I'd want to try again. It's not often I meet a girl who I click with this much. We get along great, we make each other laugh and I really enjoy hanging out with her. But at the same time we work together, so if she's not interested I don't want to push the issue, otherwise things could get weird around the office.

 

One more thing: Is it possible it's just too soon after her break-up for to consider going out with someone else? When we talked about it earlier this week she said that they hadn't seen or spoken to each other in two weeks. She said that they hadn't officially ended it but it was pretty much over and she wasn't too broken up about it. I figured it was best just to go for it before some other guy beat me to it. Is it possible I was too quick to act?

 

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

[BrocasHelm]

As a guy who tried to date a girl who'd just broken up, I confirm that yeah, there is a "too soon". Depends on each girl, for the girl I knew it was one month...

[GemmaUK]

but she said she doesn't really go to the theater that much and it's not really her thing. It seemed a little odd (I mean who doesn't like going to the movies?)

Me!! I go to the cinema if someone really desperately wants to go and have been on random occasions the past few years but I don't like the plasticness of them. Cinema's used to be great when I was a kid but they have changed massively since then!

Plus I really hate the rank smelling food and the smell always overpowers the place and it's always freezing cold.

I prefer small independent places these days.

 

I think you asked a bit soon and should have kept the movie idea as aborted as she had already said it wasn't her thing.

 

She may also not date people from work.

 

Might be best to gauge how she behaves with you over the next few months - wait it out a bit and see if she assumed your plan was for a date which she wasn't interested in. Time will tell. Just be 'as usual' around her and see if she changes her behaviour.

[Islander19]

Me!! I go to the cinema if someone really desperately wants to go and have been on random occasions the past few years but I don't like the plasticness of them. Cinema's used to be great when I was a kid but they have changed massively since then!

Plus I really hate the rank smelling food and the smell always overpowers the place and it's always freezing cold.

I prefer small independent places these days.

 

I think you asked a bit soon and should have kept the movie idea as aborted as she had already said it wasn't her thing.

 

She may also not date people from work.

 

Might be best to gauge how she behaves with you over the next few months - wait it out a bit and see if she assumed your plan was for a date which she wasn't interested in. Time will tell. Just be 'as usual' around her and see if she changes her behaviour.

 

Thanks for the advice. Yeah, maybe it was too soon. And it was probably silly of me to ask her to do something I knew she wasn't really into. I guess I'll just wait a little bit and then suggest another activity for us to do together.

[dobielover]

"...are breaking up" doesn't even mean they're officially broken up. I agree with the others that you're pursuing way too soon.

[loveweary11]

it's both a little too soon (though i once popped into a co worker's life just before her divorce) and... listen to her!

 

 

If the movies aren't her thing (they are considered really lame by most), think of something better.

 

If you can't think of anything cool to do, you'll definitely need to work on that before asking any girl out.

 

You should haveva ton of places at the ready to knock any girl's socks off. Always.

 

This wasn't a rejection though.

 

Try again in a while or try to go to the same after work things / happy hour as her, but take it very slowly