pcs13 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I got burnt in the kitchen today, it was not bad but I texted him and was expecting a reaction like "oh nooo" "is it hurt?" From him but nothing. We were texting at the time about something else so I thought he just didn't notice. I jokingly said "I repeat, I got burnt, please pity me lol". He still didn't mention anything about it and kept talking about the other topic like it didn't matter. Igot pissed and asked why he didn't care that I got hurt at all. He started asking if it was bad or not, then claimed that he cares. He just said "ok sorry, I thought you were joking". "Ok sorry" sounds like he just said it for the sake of it. I was really upset so I told him I'm off to sleep. He then asked me out this weekend but I feel like I don't want to text back at all. We have a date this Friday and this makes me question about his feeling for me. When we are together he is always sweet, when I cried he wiped my tears and he looked really worried when I was sick. But does it mean anything? Did I overreact?
SwordofFlame Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I got burnt in the kitchen today, it was not bad but I texted him and was expecting a reaction like "oh nooo" "is it hurt?" From him but nothing. We were texting at the time about something else so I thought he just didn't notice. I jokingly said "I repeat, I got burnt, please pity me lol". He still didn't mention anything about it and kept talking about the other topic like it didn't matter. Igot pissed and asked why he didn't care that I got hurt at all. He started asking if it was bad or not, then claimed that he cares. He just said "ok sorry, I thought you were joking". "Ok sorry" sounds like he just said it for the sake of it. I was really upset so I told him I'm off to sleep. He then asked me out this weekend but I feel like I don't want to text back at all. We have a date this Friday and this makes me question about his feeling for me. When we are together he is always sweet, when I cried he wiped my tears and he looked really worried when I was sick. But does it mean anything? Did I overreact? I would think you were joking too. If that's exactly what you texted.
Ic1 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I believe you've overreacted. How was he suppose to know it wasn't a joke? See his reaction in person.
Author pcs13 Posted November 18, 2015 Author Posted November 18, 2015 But i wasn't joking the first time I told him I got burnt, and when I repeated that he should have said something, even joke back. But he just ignored the fact that I got hurt. It's not a bad injury but he wouldn't know that if he didn't ask!
SwordofFlame Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 The fact that you joked about it makes it NOT seem like it was a serious injury. Just a scratch. If you ever fall down the stairs or broke your leg playing sports, I'm sure his reaction would have been dramatically different. 1
LivingDeadGrl Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 It's weird he didn't respond to it after two times, but I think you're over reacting a bit. I am sure he cares if you hurt yourself. Maybe he really did think you were joking. If you get so upset over something this small that you might not even see him, I wonder about when he really pisses you off. Poor guy, lol
losangelena Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Girl, it's texting. Sometimes it's really hard to infer someone's tone or the seriousness of what they're saying over a text. Things get misconstrued all the time. If y'all were bantering back and forth about other things, he may not have realized the shift in tone. I think you're overreacting a wee bit, and I don't think it's a reflection on how he feels about you. Again, it was over text. If he'd been at your place when you burned yourself and continued to ignore you, that'd be a different issue. Let it go. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You over reacted but he under reacted. I don't assume people are joking about personal injuries. I also would have expected more concern from a SO but that doesn't mean your relationship is in jeopardy.
stillafool Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You obviously aren't too hurt because you are here.
PaperCrane Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Okay. Sounds like he either missed it or misinterpreted, possibly 'burnt' like someone had a witty retort or something. Then when you repeated it, it sounded very much like a joke and probably just didn't pay much attention to it, maybe laughed to himself. Easiest way to go about it, is to ask if he knew you literally got burnt. Could open a line of discussion that if one of you do actually get hurt, you have a specific phrase or word that lets them know it's serious and not a joke or anything. It depends on your personalities, dynamic, and humor types etc etc. Just talk about it in person.
FeelingFireworks Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 I got burnt in the kitchen today, it was not bad but I texted him and was expecting a reaction like "oh nooo" "is it hurt?" From him but nothing. You expecting this response is reasonable if it was a genuine injury. But sounds to me like you were sh*t testing him from the start. I jokingly said "I repeat, I got burnt, please pity me lol". By your own admission, this was jokingly said. You even said LOL! So why are you expecting him to perceive it as otherwise? He started asking if it was bad or not, then claimed that he cares. He just said "ok sorry, I thought you were joking". "Ok sorry" sounds like he just said it for the sake of it. He apologised. why are you seeing it as being insincere? Remember, none of this was serious, so why does he have to make a big deal out of it? When we are together he is always sweet, when I cried he wiped my tears and he looked really worried when I was sick. But does it mean anything? Did I overreact? You seem like someone who gets reassurance from a bf by using drama and emotion. I knew girls like this in uni and they annoyed me to no end - I see it as a form of manipulation because the displays were Always a bid to get a reaction. They were never truly sincere. You say he is always sweet, so cut him some slack for not treating your minor injury (which YOU jokingly communicated) as a serious concern. You're making a mountain out of a molehill and to cancel the date/jeopardise your relationship because of it....not worth it. 6
katiegrl Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You expecting this response is reasonable if it was a genuine injury. But sounds to me like you were sh*t testing him from the start. Sounded like a shyt test to me too. To gauge his reaction... elicit some attention from him! Boo hoo, poor me. Drama queen antics.... which he didn't fall for -- good for him.
TunaCat Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 You are totally overreacting. Your injury was minor, not a big deal. If it had been a serious injury & you were being taken to the hospital, that's different.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Yes, you are over-reacting. Pick your battles, OP. If you think this is a true reflection of his feelings for you..well, good luck when serious issues do arise.
Vintage79 Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 It sounds like he maybe didn't pick up on something, but OP, it also sounds like you're super needy - you got what you just described as effectively as a trivial burn, and you're complaining that he didn't take sympathy? Ok - let him know if you chipped a nail - let's see if you get a different response. If you text about stupid and trivial things, don't necessarily expect an amazing response... 1
AndOrchid Posted November 18, 2015 Posted November 18, 2015 Major over-reaction. It sounds like you were just seeking attention.
Author pcs13 Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 It just doesn't add up to me that when I mentioned twice I got hurt he didn't say anything, like he completely ignored it. All I said was just "why don't you care that I got hurt at all?" And "it was not bad but how would you know if you don't ask". I rarely get annoyed so I feel like he takes it for granted and doesn't treat me right.
katiegrl Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 It just doesn't add up to me that when I mentioned twice I got hurt he didn't say anything, like he completely ignored it. All I said was just "why don't you care that I got hurt at all?" And "it was not bad but how would you know if you don't ask". I rarely get annoyed so I feel like he takes it for granted and doesn't treat me right. So then why are you still dating him? That's on you. 1
losangelena Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 It just doesn't add up to me that when I mentioned twice I got hurt he didn't say anything, like he completely ignored it. All I said was just "why don't you care that I got hurt at all?" And "it was not bad but how would you know if you don't ask". I rarely get annoyed so I feel like he takes it for granted and doesn't treat me right. Then to me it feels like something else must be going on to make you feel that way. Never has one unresponded-to text message turned me totally off someone like that. Again, it's a freaking text message! A few years ago, I had to run to the emergency room. It turns out I was having a panic attack but at the time I felt like I was having a heart attack. I didn't TEXT my mom to tell her what was going on, I CALLED her. The medium's the message here. You must not have hurt yourself that badly, otherwise why would you be sending it via text, with an lol and the end, no less? If I get a text from someone telling me they burnt their finger and they needed sympathy, I'd take that as a total joke. Graveness doesn't normally come through over text. It's a throwaway method of communication. Do you resent your BF about other things? 2
joseb Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) If I get a text from someone telling me they burnt their finger and they needed sympathy, I'd take that as a total joke. Yes, so would I. " when I cried he wiped my tears " How much crying are you doing? I'm starting to agree with others here who suggest attention seeking behaviour. Edited November 19, 2015 by joseb 1
trippi1432 Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Well, there is this thing called a phone....and it's used for more than just texting. If you wanted him to take you seriously, why didn't you call him after he replied? How can anyone take something seriously if they don't hear it from the proverbial horse's mouth? Some say you over-reacted...no, YOU under-reacted. If you were in a life threatening accident and I got a text from you..."Oops, I had a fender bender", I'd treat it as such. If I got a call from you saying I'm being taken to the hospital...or even a text stating the same, different story. You "pish-poshed" it in a text so why would any man take it seriously? There is "cute" and then there is setting yourself up. Texting someone is not getting their full attention...now if you had called him and he was ignoring you or pushed off that you were upset or hurt that would be different.....text is not emotion, face to face contact is and so is human voice. Interpretation is just what it is when it comes to texting. BTW - I'm not a man, this is a woman giving this advice.
Lansing Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 Yeah, you are over reacting. I was dating a girl that was really DEMANDING and expecting that I respond certain ways to her texts and demanding that I specifically send her certain kind of texts and give her certain type of compliments. It got old pretty quick. Maybe that is extreme compared to what you did but it was a simple text and it feels like you are expecting him to act a certain way and maybe you wanted to see him "worry" about you and more disappointed that he didn't come across that way.
Author pcs13 Posted November 19, 2015 Author Posted November 19, 2015 Well no I don't need him to call me immediately or get really worried, just a simple "is it hurt?" Or something like that to show that he cares/pays attention to what I said. I don't think it's too much to ask. I'm not mad at him anymore and we are talking again.
Keenly Posted November 19, 2015 Posted November 19, 2015 The problem is one that you admitted to performing in the OP. You EXPECTED a certain reaction, and you did not like the one that you got. Don't do things expecting a reaction. These are signs you are dating a fantasy of some one, rather than the person, themselves. 1
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