singlelife Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Is it an interview. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Is it an interview. I have a theory about this and its deeply cynical. For me they take you to their friends to see if their friends would like you, more to that you probably in some way are similar to their friends bf's. To ignore the reality we live in a deeply superficial world is akin to sticking ones head in the sand. I firmly believe if her friends don't take to you then you are dead in the water to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I have a theory about this and its deeply cynical. For me they take you to their friends to see if their friends would like you, more to that you probably in some way are similar to their friends bf's. To ignore the reality we live in a deeply superficial world is akin to sticking ones head in the sand. I firmly believe if her friends don't take to you then you are dead in the water to speak. Very cynical........... Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Very cynical........... And I believe true to a lesser or great degree due to the inherent need for people to conform. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I think it's about letting the people you care about all meet each other. I think you're great and these people are great, I'll love you to meet them Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I think it's about letting the people you care about all meet each other. I think you're great and these people are great, I'll love you to meet them True but what happens when the friends don't like the bf? "You know I don't think he is right for you" "You know he isn't that hot you can do better" "You know there are guys with more money, look how successful my bf is" Sorry being cynical again...when they introduce you, its part : meet him : look at how great my bf is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I have a theory about this and its deeply cynical. For me they take you to their friends to see if their friends would like you, more to that you probably in some way are similar to their friends bf's. To ignore the reality we live in a deeply superficial world is akin to sticking ones head in the sand. I firmly believe if her friends don't take to you then you are dead in the water to speak. i agree that conforming is very important to neuro-typical humans. And I agree that if the friends don't like you, you're dead in the water. But I disagree about girls wanting boys who are the same, Instead, I think that a girl (or guy) wants to know that the new partner and and his/her friends can socialise well together. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 True but what happens when the friends don't like the bf? "You know I don't think he is right for you" "You know he isn't that hot you can do better" "You know there are guys with more money, look how successful my bf is" Sorry being cynical again...when they introduce you, its part : meet him : look at how great my bf is. We cross posted. I kind of covered this in my last post: having a partner who is compatible with friends is important. And given how rose coloured glasses can skew our vision, I'd trust friend who saw red flags which I had missed Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 True but what happens when the friends don't like the bf? "You know I don't think he is right for you" "You know he isn't that hot you can do better" "You know there are guys with more money, look how successful my bf is" Sorry being cynical again...when they introduce you, its part : meet him : look at how great my bf is. Then I'd think about getting new friends. I can't imagine any of my friends saying those things. Except maybe the first one if there was some big issue or he'd done something terrible I hadn't noticed. Like hit on one of them. Like another poster said, it's about everyone being able to get on with one another. There is a little bit of cynicalness to it but not to this extent. If someone I was dating didn't get on with my friends, it would certainly be a problem. I'm not talking about the odd friend but ALL of them. They're an easy bunch to get on with, it would highlight some issue I had overlooked. It's also lovely to see someone you're dating make an effort with those people in your life and wanting to make a good impression. It means they care about what you care about. I spend time with my friends and their boyfriends. I'd like someone to fit into that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I agree with Tribble. My friends would never suggest I find a hotter or richer guy. But they would tell me if they thought the guy was using me or that I was blind to him being obnoxious in some way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 True but what happens when the friends don't like the bf? "You know I don't think he is right for you" "You know he isn't that hot you can do better" "You know there are guys with more money, look how successful my bf is" Sorry being cynical again...when they introduce you, its part : meet him : look at how great my bf is. Think about the friends you have. Then think about the girl you want to date ideally and are attracted to. If you found that girl and brought her around your friends it would stand to believe that they would see why you're dating her due to the qualities in her that you yourself see. When a girl brings a guy around her friends it's not like she's surprising them with this completely out of left field opposite of what her friends think her type is. They bring you around because they know you're compatible and that her friends will see that. Unless you're a total scumbag and obnoxious or a drunk, there's really nothing to worry about. Even if her friends didn't like you... 97% of people would keep their mouth shut and go with the attitude "it's her life, she can date who she wants" Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 She is seeing if her friends want to sleep with you as they have a secret orgy club. Seriously, she is showing you off to her friends. She is so into you that she wants you around her friends. Take it as a big positive. Link to post Share on other sites
Odinani Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Is it an interview. haha, yeah sort of. Link to post Share on other sites
Odinani Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 i agree that conforming is very important to neuro-typical humans. And I agree that if the friends don't like you, you're dead in the water. But I disagree about girls wanting boys who are the same, Instead, I think that a girl (or guy) wants to know that the new partner and and his/her friends can socialise well together. Neurotypical as opposed to sufferers of autism??? It's not about conforming. it's about expressing ourselves naturally and authentically as non-autistic people. Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 I have a theory about this and its deeply cynical. For me they take you to their friends to see if their friends would like you, more to that you probably in some way are similar to their friends bf's. To ignore the reality we live in a deeply superficial world is akin to sticking ones head in the sand. I firmly believe if her friends don't take to you then you are dead in the water to speak. I've got three sisters and I have to agree with this to a degree. I don't think that its so cynical as it takes into account what human nature is, and human nature isn't always pretty. Now I don't think that one friend making a comment can send you packing, but I do believe that peer approval/validation enters into the equation. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 I don't do friends until i've at least slept with her. that way if she is weak willed and does what her friends say i'll of at least gotten some before she fades out. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 If I was with someone, I'd introduce him to my friends. I'd want him to get on with them and for him to take an interest in getting to know them. But it wouldn't really be a vetting process. I have different taste in men than my friends so they would see things differently. I also don't want to drag them into my private life too much. I know that sounds weird but I used to have relationships full of drama and I feel bad about it now how I had to rely on my friends to deal with ridiculous situations I found myself in. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 At this point, all my friends (married) wouldn't care in the least what kind of man I brought to meet them. Just as long as I had one. Link to post Share on other sites
Myragal Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I have friends who are socially well adjusted. They are a positive influence in my life. Never has one been critical of a man I have introduced them to. Mature adults don't act that way. Yes, I want a new boyfriend to be liked by my friends but at this stage of life we don't all 'hang out' like folks on a sitcom. Usually we do some activity together...dancing, hiking, etc. I suppose most adults date decent people and most decent people don't evoke some revulsion by other adults. We have developed skills to interact civilly. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I have a theory about this and its deeply cynical. For me they take you to their friends to see if their friends would like you, more to that you probably in some way are similar to their friends bf's. To ignore the reality we live in a deeply superficial world is akin to sticking ones head in the sand. I firmly believe if her friends don't take to you then you are dead in the water to speak. This does sound very cynical. But funnily enough. I was talking to the girl I'm seeing about this just today. She said when she introduced an ex of hers before, one of her friends told her later how ugly he was, and she could do sooooo much better. Well she ignored that "advice". They ended up dating for a year or so. Funnily enough, several months after the same (now ex) friend was flirting outrageously with the same guy (Apatently he had a new haircut!) Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 I've always brought mine around my friends so they can finally meet the guy I've been talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Probably similar reasons that men bring women they like around their friends. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Is it an interview. What ages are you talking about, first of all? Link to post Share on other sites
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